Everybody's a comedian today... Although, I have to admit those are some pretty funny posts.
RobbyW,
I work as a wildlife and habitat management consultant. I design long-term wildlife and habitat management plans for private landowners.
My original training was not in the wildlife sciences, but in the earth sciences. I have degrees in Meteorology and Geography (with an emphasis on "geomorphology", which is the study of all of the geologic and paleoclimatic forces that shape the physical landscape). For a decade I worked for the U.S. Census Bureau, helping to develop a technology that is now called Geographic Information Systems (GIS), which are digital maps linked to databases so that data stored in those databases can be analyzed by the physical location at which that data was collected ("spatial" statistical comparisons based on physical location and distance between data collection points).
Because of my background in GIS technology, and also because of my obsessive passion for deer hunting and interest in the science behind wildlife management (I had been reading all of the published research just out of interest), I was hired by Dr. Grant Woods--a wildlife biologist and private-lands management consultant. He believed GIS technology had many applications in the wildlife sciences. I worked for Dr. Woods designing and implementing his research projects, writing his management plans, and writing articles for publication for 7 or 8 years before venturing out and starting my own local consulting business. While working for Dr. Woods, I worked everywhere east of the Rockies, and was on the road constantly. However, once I started a family, I didn't want to be on the road so much, hence now just work locally in Middle TN, southern KY and northern AL/GA/MS. Working with the big hardwood forests and ridge-and-hollow terrain common to the Highland Rim is sort of my specialty.
Although I don't have the resources necessary to run university-level research projects, I still enjoy conducting small-scale research projects primarily focused on the factors that influence hunter success: how environmental factors (weather and moon), herd composition, terrain, habitat, and many other factors influence what hunters see and kill.