http://tylerholloway.net/espn-hates-your-team/
"ESPN Hates You, and ESPN Hates Your Team
With the beginning of the college football season upon us, I just wanted to take a moment to remind you that your suspicions are correct: ESPN does, in fact, hate your team.
Note: I can't take credit for creating this (I'm nowhere near that clever), but I saw it first a couple of years ago and since the original source seems to have disappeared, making it impossible to give credit where credit is due. Regardless, I hope you find it as humorous as I did.
ESPNESPN hates you.
And more importantly, ESPN hates your team.
ESPN will go to any length to diss your team. Any length. You know that Oregon coozie you used to have but can't seem to find? ESPN took it. Because ESPN hates Oregon. That is, if Oregon is your team.
It has nothing to do with you being too passionately involved in both liking your team and hating other teams. ESPN just likes to jack with your head. That's why when Mark May says something like 'LSU has question marks at quarterback. Watch out for Florida in this one' you get ticked. Sure, you just read the same thing in the Times Picayune. But the Times Picayune isn't ESPN – who clearly is having a love affair with Urban Meyer and the Gators while simultaneously throwing the LSU Bengal Tigers under the bus every chance they get.
Unless you're a Florida fan. In which case the time that Chris Fowler made that dig about Urban Meyer's 28-point loss to Alabama is clear evidence of an ESPN-wide plan to, in fact, shut the UF football program down.
Remember that time ESPN ran a story about your favorite player getting arrested? Nevermind that he actually did get arrested. That's bullcrap. ESPN is bullcrap. And it is obvious that, by running timely stories about factual events, ESPN is biased against your team.
It doesn't matter who you pull for.
Whoever your favorite team is, ESPN hates it. ESPN hates anything you love, and loves anything you hate.
ESPN hates your dad. Unless you hate your dad. In which case ESPN loves your dad.
If you love bread, ESPN is 'anti-sandwich.' If you hate end-pieces, ESPN will run a special about end pieces. Mark May will hold up two hard, crusty end pieces and hype the heck out of them all year long. Bob Ley will run a special called 'Outside The Loaf.' Ivan Maisel will write a column with a pun-filled headline like 'The piece to the end puzzle' and mind-force you to read it and then email him in anger about it.
If you were for the Union, ESPN was for the Confederacy.
If you had a Sega Genesis, ESPN had a Super Nintendo. If you had a Super Nintendo, ESPN had Sega Genesis.
If you liked like Tombstone, ESPN liked Wyatt Earp.
If you preferred Use Your Illusion I, ESPN preferred Use Your Illusion II.
If you pulled for Dan, ESPN pulled for Dave.
ESPN hates everything you stand for. Unless you stand for something else. Then ESPN hates that too.
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Here's to another season of College Football!"