You thought YOU were stupid

RUGER

RUGER

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So I get home yesterday evening about 5:30 p.m. with my wife from physical therapy.
I pull in the drive, hop out and go unlock the door and turn on the outside light so she can see good.

I go back and take her purse and jacket and carry them for her while she makes her way in the house.
About the time we pull in CBU calls and the entire time I am talking to him on the phone.
Go in, get her settled and decide to fix me a drink.
Walk back outside to talk to him and notice my interior light is on.
Hmmm, walk over, open the drivers side door and shut it.
Stand there and wait, hmmmmm
Open the door back up and flip some switches and push some buttons and shut the door.
Hmmmm

Open the door back up and get flashlight out of the door and look at the buttons and stuff I am flipping.
Shut door..... hmmmmmm

Open door again and flip more switches and push more buttons.
hmmmmmm

Decide I have a short of some kind and think to myself when I get off the phone I will get my tools out and just unhook the battery and deal with it later.
Hmmmmm

Walk to passenger door.....

Yes, I am an idiot.

Might as well give you one more:

Last winter we had a bit of freezing rain and I got up to go to work the next morning and just as I suspected before I ever walked outside my doors were covered in ice and frozen shut.
Got my can of de-icer and gave it a liberal soaking.
Let it set then gave it another and went to town with the scraper, chipping away at the seemingly impenetrable layer of ice.

Pull on door handle.... nothing.

Repeat all the above steps a third time and pull on door handle.... nothing.

Get some hot water and go outside and dump it all over the door crack best I could and then repeat the above steps again... nothing. I mean like NOTHING was moving.
Hmmmm

Get a pry bar out of the utility room and VERY GENTLY ease along the entire length of the crack prying it a bit as I am pulling on the door handle.
The top of the stinking door was moving outwards but would NOT budge at all.

Hmmmm
Heck I will try the passenger door, maybe it isn't as bad.
Peer through the window and can plainly see it is still locked. It stays locked unless you push the "unlock" button on the little key thingy twice.
Take my glove off and get my keys out of my pocket and push the "unlock" button..... once..... CLICK you know that sound when the door unlocks....... hmmmm the passenger door lock thing didn't move.......

Yes, I am an idiot.

There ya go, your feel good post(s) of the day.
 
DaveB

DaveB

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:rotf:

Did you look around to see if anyone was watching? That's what I do.

If my Wife catches me doing something similar and says why you do dat i always reply "i'm an idiot".
 
Ladys man

Ladys man

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My wife and I were in the living room and I go to the kitchen behind her for another drink and I start busting a move, not knowing she was watching my reflection in the window, she busted out laughing and I hadn’t been that embarrassed in a long time lol
 
rem270

rem270

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Got one better for you to make you feel less of an idiot... hopefully!!!

Guy that worked night shift a few years back was leaving and it was dead of winter and had some ice on his car. Tried to open door handle and wouldn't open. Too far away to get hot water so what is luke warm and free and relatively close by? PEE! Pees on door handle, zips his wiener up and goes to open door handle. Breaks off door handle. The whole time another guy that works nights is in his car watching. Pees and repeats on all 3 rest of the door handles and breaks everyone of them off. The guy was a bit of an idiot lol.
 
gtk

gtk

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i could write a book on stupid stuff..

More recently, while in colorado elk hunting, we took brothers new f250 with all the bells & gadgets... at hotel, i need something out of truck and get his keys, go outside, and unlock it, get my stuff out. I lock his truck back, and grab the handle to make sure its locked.. nope, it opens right up.. I push the lock on keys again, grab handle, and it opens.. I do this about 20 times.. i go tell the brother i can't get his truck to lock back.. Well, it turns out that if you have the keys near, and touch the door handle, it unlocks it automatically for you..

one of my fav stupid things i've done, is when i rebuilt the carb on my 300 fourwheeler.. i took it apart, rebuilt, put it back on, and try and crank it to no avail.. i take carb back off, disassemble, reassemble, put back on .. still won't crank.. i take it off again, same thing.. Then i notice the handlebar switch was in "off" position :bash:
 
W

wayne

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I was working nightshift and had to load at a terminal across town from the others and it usually didn't have any fuel to load if it was close to midnight. Fuel allocation renewed after midnight, so traffic at the terminal was non-existent from about 9:00 p.m. until after midnight. Having a long haul, I was pushed for time. I got to the terminal with kidneys about to bust. I chose to load before going to the bathroom because if there wasn't any fuel I would have plenty of time to go. Checked fuel supply and got a load. Went to the bathroom and don't know why, since I was the only person there, but I locked the door. Washed my hands and couldn't get the door open. So here I am, locked in the bathroom at 10:30 at night. I sat there for about 15 minutes thinking that no other drivers were going to be there before midnight and I was going to have to call the after-hours emergency phone and call the terminal operator and have him come let me out of the bathroom. I sat there looking at the door and noticed the deadbolt handle was upside-down. I was turning the deadbolt the wrong way.

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Dbllunger

Dbllunger

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:lol: :lol: Good to know I ain't the only one. Wish I knew how much time and shoulder wear I have spent pulling on and cussing a weedeater, leaf blower, chainsaw, lawnmower, edger, boat motor and four wheeler rope trying to crank them in the off position. You would think I would learn. I don't.
 
Widowmaker

Widowmaker

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Had a good one the other night. Put a load of clothes in the dryer, turned the knob to the right setting, and pulled on the knob. The knob comes flying off in my hand and I scratch my head and say crap. Look at the knob. Yup, it's all good and nothing is broken. Look at the stem on the timer, yup, it's all good. Go through the process of putting knob on, turning it and pulling it straight back off. Finally, done fooling with it for the night, I grab a pair of channel locks and try to pull the stem out to get it to start. You betcha, nothing happened. Search around the control panel some more, and finally notice the words off to the right side under a different knob that say "Push To Start". Yuppppppp. Side note: I have used this dryer countless times before.
 
B

blondebear

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about a decade ago was getting ready for a hunting trip. doing laundry with maps spread out everywhere. throw clothes here and there, setting controls, soap in this, softener there. blankety blank washer won't start. scream for my girlie to see whats wrong. tell her the washer won't start. she walks over , closes the lid and the washer kicks off. she looked at me and said " put the maps up". so in defiance i ....put the maps up.
 
B

brass magnet

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My weedeater has o and _ for on\off ,I used whiteout and wrote on and drew an arrow. Buddy saw it and said you drew an arrow, I said I'm an idiot, he said why didn't you write, off, I said your a special kind of idiot, took him a minute. :tu:
 
W

wayne

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brass magnet":vfucfhzu said:
My weedeater has o and _ for on\off ,I used whiteout and wrote on and drew an arrow. Buddy saw it and said you drew an arrow, I said I'm an idiot, he said why didn't you write, off, I said your a special kind of idiot, took him a minute. :tu:
I hate thoses switches. I usually just assume I used to switch to cut the engine off the last time I used it and flip it the other way when I'm trying start it. What was wrong with using "Run" and "Stop" that some engineer felt like they needed to change it?

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catman529

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gtk":2jpeqn7d said:
one of my fav stupid things i've done, is when i rebuilt the carb on my 300 fourwheeler.. i took it apart, rebuilt, put it back on, and try and crank it to no avail.. i take carb back off, disassemble, reassemble, put back on .. still won't crank.. i take it off again, same thing.. Then i notice the handlebar switch was in "off" position :bash:
I've almost yanked the string off a few weedeaters before realizing the kill switch was off :lol: :lol:
 
RUGER

RUGER

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catman529":36yue0b8 said:
gtk":36yue0b8 said:
one of my fav stupid things i've done, is when i rebuilt the carb on my 300 fourwheeler.. i took it apart, rebuilt, put it back on, and try and crank it to no avail.. i take carb back off, disassemble, reassemble, put back on .. still won't crank.. i take it off again, same thing.. Then i notice the handlebar switch was in "off" position :bash:
I've almost yanked the string off a few weedeaters before realizing the kill switch was off :lol: :lol:


My buddy that I talked about earlier that is taking his grandson hunting at Christmas used to run traplines when he lived in Mississippi (when he was much younger).
He was a carpenter by trade and ran his lines every day before "work".

He pushed his four wheeler back to his truck one morning because it wouldn't start.
Turned over fine, just wouldn't fire.
THREE MILES he pushed the four wheeler.
Said he was sitting on it at the truck wondering how he was going to push it up the ramps into his truck by himself and just happened to look down at the switch located on the handlebar.
Said he shook his head and said, "You big dummy."
Pushed the button over to "run", fired it up and put it in the truck. :bash:
 
TNCharlie

TNCharlie

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I think that I may have posted this one when it happened. I bought a new small generator. When it was delivered I mixed some two-cycle fuel, carefully unpacked the generator, looked it over, turned on the switch, and it would not start. I messed with it for a while and since it was late in the day I decided to just think about it overnight.

As I lay in bed that night I figured out that it must not be getting fuel. Maybe some packing or something had the fuel line clogged. The next morning I took the fuel line loose from the carburetor and sure enough, no fuel was getting through. I open the gas tank to make sure that the fuel outlet wasn't blocked. After reattaching the fuel line and actually putting fuel in the tank it started on the first pull.
 
cbhunter

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TNCharlie":rhfwctj7 said:
I think that I may have posted this one when it happened. I bought a new small generator. When it was delivered I mixed some two-cycle fuel, carefully unpacked the generator, looked it over, turned on the switch, and it would not start. I messed with it for a while and since it was late in the day I decided to just think about it overnight.

As I lay in bed that night I figured out that it must not be getting fuel. Maybe some packing or something had the fuel line clogged. The next morning I took the fuel line loose from the carburetor and sure enough, no fuel was getting through. I open the gas tank to make sure that the fuel outlet wasn't blocked. After reattaching the fuel line and actually putting fuel in the tank it started on the first pull.


It aint got no gas in it........mmmmmhmmmmmm
 
RUGER

RUGER

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TurkeyBurd":ae1cgr7b said:
You've been an idiot waaay before those episodes happened!!

True dat.
 

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