What's my wife going to do with my stuff if I pass unexpectedly??

slabhead

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Nov 20, 2001
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1,699
Location
Lewis Co.
So, with all the inheritance talk here and this lady we go to church with, husband unexpectedly passing at 57, it got me and the missus thinking. Turns out, he handled everything finances, stuff, the whole shebang. And it hit us we're not exactly prepared for that kind of scenario. I mean, she barely knows where our bank accounts are! It's not that I'm some control freak, but I've just always been the one handling things.
This guys wife was left with this mountain of stuff - boats, cars, guns, tools - and she's lost about what to do with it all. Plus, the poor woman doesn't know jack about their money situation. It made me realize, my wife's in the same boat. She jokingly said, "What do I do with all your junk?" and I was like, "I'll be dead, who cares?" But then, it hit me she's got a point.

What also hit home was the fact that I've got a lot of stuff. Like, way more stuff than I ever thought about. And she's right – if she goes first, it'll be a breeze for me because she don't have much, mostly jewelry. But me I've got a boatload of crap.

So, I sat down and wrote out a plan in case I croak unexpectedly. I listed all our accounts and passwords, told her who to call for life insurance and retirement and gave her the lowdown on the house situation. Oh, and I threw in some tips on how to divvy up my guns among our boys and suggestions on what to do with the rest. I put a copy in our safe at home and my desk drawer.

This whole experience made me realize that I need to keep this plan updated. Life changes, stuff changes, and I don't want to leave her with a plan that's outdated.

Talking about death and all this grown-up stuff isn't fun, but it's necessary. I'm not trying to be a downer, just giving a heads up to anyone who hasn't thought about it. Take a sec, write down a plan, and save your loved ones from dealing with a hot mess.
 

backyardtndeer

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Jul 29, 2015
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West Tennessee
My wife got a list of everything, account numbers and passwords before I had my heart surgery in 2021. I don't know what she has done with it, but she says she still has it.
 

DoubleRidge

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Nov 24, 2019
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Middle Tennessee
Great words of wisdom. Thanks for sharing.
Statistically speaking 1 out of every 1 of us are going to die...being prepared makes sense.

Edit to add: wife and I did this many years ago...and its way out of date and needs updating...appreciate the reminder.
 

DaveTN

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May 4, 2006
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9,732
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Middle Tennessee
My wife handles all our finances and has for 30 years. I have a Excel spreadsheet of all my firearms and ammunition, what I paid, when, and estimated values now. I plan on selling them before I die, but you just never know.

Funny story. We did some account changes on Xfinity. Three times…Three! I told them to put my wife's name on the account. The third time of them saying I had to get on the phone, I told them "Look, I don't pay for anything. All I do is order stuff I want, and the wife pays for it. If you expect to get paid; you need to talk to her." They dealt with her after that.
 

jb3

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Feb 23, 2009
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6,118
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Burns, TN
If you have kids I'd also expect that they are aware of all you important information as well. I know my dad's legal contact, funeral info for him and my mom, etc...
 

PalsPal

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Oct 1, 2012
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TN
Good post.

I see similar situations at garage and estate sales where the husband has passed.

I've also seen vultures try to swoop in early or even the day before the date of the sale trying to take advantage of unknowing ladies.

I would advise that you also give your wife the name and phone number of someone you trust who could help her liquidate the stuff and get her fair value.

Also, think seriously about what you plan to give to children, because they may not be interested in it. One would be better off to go ahead and liquidate stuff that hasn't been used in a while. Save your spouse some trouble during a very emotional time.
 

redblood

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Jan 22, 2006
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Lewisburg
I told my wife to call the best realtor in town and have a massive auction. Guns, implements , tractors everything except farms. Sell them
Seperate. We have an 8 acrre tract near lynchburg. Go there snd build a small house and live the easy life. Wait….im making it sound too good lol
 

PalsPal

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Oct 1, 2012
Messages
11,851
Location
TN
I told my wife to call the best realtor in town and have a massive auction. Guns, implements , tractors everything except farms. Sell them
Seperate. We have an 8 acrre tract near lynchburg. Go there snd build a small house and live the easy life. Wait….im making it sound too good lol

What if her new husband wants a farm or two 🤔?
 

jlanecr500

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Jul 16, 2015
Messages
2,846
We're in the same boat. I've tried to show her where all the info is and how to handle the finances but she doesn't show interest. I'm gonna have to sit her down and make her handle things for a few months so she can take over if needed.
 

dsa5455

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Jul 15, 2010
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1,142
Location
LEBANON TN
I put my daughter on my bank account. She and my son both have access to my passwords and a list of money coming in and money going out in case I pass away. I think even if I give my wife the same information my kids will have to handle it and take my place with the finances. Still don't have a Will though. Shame on me.
 

Gravey

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Jul 20, 2005
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38,752
Location
Christiana (Rutherford County)
Just yesterday after church I came home and emptied every firearm I own from the safe and wrote down all the details and took a pic of each one. Only have 2 or 3. 😉 Anyway have a list of all my user names and passwords so my wife can get to everything. I do all the finances so she doesn't know when and where to pay them. I've told her if I die let my son, nephew, brother, and son in law split the guns however they want them and then sell everything else I own and split it with my kids (she's not their mom). Insurance policy goes to my kids and retirement funds go to her. They'll all be fine and probably wish I had died sooner. 😳🤣
 

Wolverine72

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Joined
Aug 24, 2015
Messages
372
Location
Middle TN
My wife got a list of everything, account numbers and passwords before I had my heart surgery in 2021. I don't know what she has done with it, but she says she still has it.
We call ours the Love Drawer. Although it's actually a binder. We go over all our stuff every year with our kids and their spouses. The love drawer gets updated every year.
 

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