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Mother in Law moving in

Mag

Well-Known Member
Joined
Nov 12, 2007
Messages
2,475
Location
Gallatin
Anyone else had their Mother in Law move in? After my Father in Law passed away last month she just couldn't handle living in the house so she stayed with us. After a few weeks decided to sell her house. Lucky for us it's maybe 10 minutes away. The house sold for full asking price on day one, no surprise and she closes on the 9th. We have plenty of room upstairs where she has her room, full bath and a bonus room where I set up a little "office" for her so she can get online etc. She's very happy and not intrusive at all. Our main concern are the stairs, she's in good health but still at 85 I worry.
So we discussed various options... expand here (we do have a HOA so must follow current lines of the house) or move to a house with two bedrooms on the ground floor, or build new. First preference was to add on and I knew it was going to be expensive but wow. As of now we decided that we really don't have to do anything major, for now. I'm exploring the option of a chair lift system and should have a few calls this week - if anyone has experience with these I'm interested in hearing the best etc.
Oh... she had a freezer packed with a lot of roasts, pork etc so we have been eating really well lately! :)
 
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Wildcat

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Joined
Jun 10, 2000
Messages
58,676
Location
Western Ky.
My cousin that I travel with had her mom move in with them. They added on an apparent on the ground floor to the house for her. I saw it when I visted them. It's really nice, has a small setting room with enough room for her and a couple more people plus the TV and a small snick and small ref. She has her own bed room with the bathroom right next to it. The bathroom is made for an older person, handles all over the place and everything is easy in and out. She ever had pull cords to let the other people in the house knows she's needs help if she can't get up or falls, etc.

I don't know how much they spend but it adds vaule to the house.
 

Omega

Well-Known Member
Joined
Dec 16, 2018
Messages
1,717
Location
Clarksville, TN
I got along with my MIL, she moved in with us when I got back from being stationed in Japan in 96'. She had a house in Denver that she let her son stay in, it was good for her, and the wife, that she moved in with us. She was an RN, and would take the bus to work in Denver, even though there were multiple drivers living with her. She retired about the time we were due to come back stateside so it was decided that would be a good time. She has since passed away, but I'd like to think we made her last few years better, much better. I am trying to get my mom to move here with us, or at least to a home nearby (she doesn't want to be a burden), but she is stubborn, so she is still in Denver. I have a 5 bedroom house, with bonus room and it's just us two, though my middle daughter visits with my granddaughter every other weekend.
 

BamaProud

Well-Known Member
Joined
Apr 3, 2011
Messages
16,870
Location
Shelby County, TN
Well my MIL is living with us right now due to extensive damage to her house from hurricane Sally. She doesn't have insurance and got turned down by FEMA. We are going to file an appeal with FEMA, but who knows if she will ever be able to move back into her house. I get along with her well, but we really don't have room for another person. Right now she is using my daughters room(upstairs) and daughter is sleeping in the Bonus room. If it turns out she is moving in permanently, we will try to find another house -hopefully with her own space.
 

shane37110

Well-Known Member
Joined
Nov 6, 2013
Messages
2,873
Location
Tanyard Springs TN.
I'm lucky that is have no problem with this happening with my mother in law. Short term a stair lift may be your best option. Make sure the one you get has a battery bank so it will run if the power goes out. That way she's not stuck up there in an emergency. Other than that I'm not sure what else I could add.
 

1908_Cubbies

Active Member
Joined
Aug 10, 2009
Messages
763
Location
Tullahoma, TN
I think I'd constantly worry about the stairs.

Would it be an option to have her pay for an addition since she just sold her house? That way, if you have the room, she could build a more complete area (bedroom with kitchenette and bathroom).
 

JeepKuntry

Well-Known Member
Joined
Jan 20, 2004
Messages
19,094
Location
Clinton, TN
We looked at a basement rancher. That has had close to 2500 sq on the main level and around 1800 finished below with separate kitchen, bath, you name it. At the time, we didn't have a need for something like that. Since then my fil and mil have divorced and he's renting. Sure would have been easy to move him down there, pay a bit of rent and we would both win. Not to mention that place has a couple outbuilding with 5 garage spaces! Oh live and learn. TBH I would trade when the time comes with mobility issues. You guys will be using the stairs, but ultimately no addition and no additional expense.
 

7mm08

Well-Known Member
Joined
Sep 12, 2007
Messages
10,902
Location
In a river hopefully!
Could you do an outside elevator? There is a lot of those at the beach for these elevated homes. Otherwise stair assist chair.

> 20,000 elderly deaths a year from falls
 

tahtah

Member
Joined
Oct 26, 2017
Messages
158
Location
Mid-TN
My father moved in with us during the last few years of his life. We had a similar challenge as far as the house and where he might call his space. After some thinking, we turned our dining room into a bedroom for him. It required us to turn a large open door into a wall with a normal door. It was very easy to convert back later. We also remodeled our master bath and turned the bath into a huge walk-in shower that he could get into easily and had room for a shower chair.

I don't care who it is or how good your relationship is, it's tough to have someone move in with you. It was definitely a change and a challenge. But it was also a huge blessing and we are so glad we did it.

Good luck with this and always remember that time with our parents is precious and limited.
 

KyRick

Member
Joined
Oct 2, 2001
Messages
254
Location
Georgetown, TN
Had a friend with a lake house and she had several elderly/unhealthy family members. She went with the chair on a rail up and down the stairs. It was not quick but did its job very well.
 

Mag

Well-Known Member
Joined
Nov 12, 2007
Messages
2,475
Location
Gallatin
The addition we planned out was going to be close to $90k which she would cover. We met with a rep today from Acorn for the lift and we used a military discount, Labor Day discount and we can have a Doctor write a prescription which will knock of the tax. Went from somewhere close to $12k down to $8k.
 

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