How often do you visit someone's gravesite?

[PalsPal]

My dad mentioned to me that he had placed flowers on the graves of my mom, grandmother, and great-grandmother, and it got me to thinking about it.

I have visited the gravesite of my mom maybe 4-5 times since she passed in 2001.

It's just something that never crosses my mind. I have photos etc, that I remember them by, and do not feel any need to visit the actual gravesite.

I understand if someone has moved and are no longer in proximity, but I have always been here.

Am I alone in this thinking, or is it something else that is fading with each new generation?

 

[MUP]

I don't think of them, the departed, as lying there in the grave. I don't visit my Dad's, nor my grandparent's graves often, just at decoration time to lay flowers, but sometimes I even miss that date. They're just not there as I see it.

 

[huntintn]

If i need a $2000 rock for you to remember me, you never really knew me.

 

[Gravey]

My grandparents passed in 2005, 2007, and 2017 and I’ve never been back. Parents are still living so haven’t had to go through that. My mom goes to her parents graves once a year I think and places flowers and cleans at the cemetery. It’s a small rural one in Hohenwald. Don’t think my dad has ever been back to his parents graves.

 

[Teacher]

I visit the cemetery twice a week during the summer-my son and I cut the grass and it is a two-day, two-man job! I pass the cemetery where my parents are buried going to work and returning home each day, I usually stop and walk through the cemetery at least once every two weeks all year long. I am on the Board of Directors and also elected as treasurer, which is a position I really didn't want.

I know that only the earthly remains of my parents are there and it is the respect and love I have for them that keeps me going back. My father bought a huge plot for all of our family to be buried in so we could all be buried close together and it was a very smart move. We all have a burial spot identified and don't have to worry about burial space. I enjoy every morning passing the cemetery and telling my mother and daddy "Good morning in Heaven above".

What I think about most of all while cleaning the cemetery is all the infants and young children who are buried there. I have no idea what happened to the children, and there are so many of them. Sad to see.

 

[DoubleRidge]

You are not alone....we never visit grave sites....but if I'm at the cemetery for another burial then we will walk around and check on family members grave sites...but certainly nothing against those who visit regularly....it just doesn't cross my mind.

 

[backyardtndeer]

My dad and grandparents on his side are in a mausoleum in northeastern West Virginia, I wish it was closer. Dad died when I was two, I have only been back a few times as an adult. Mom's ashes are here in an urn in a curio with her favorite dolls. One of these days I am going to take some of her ashes to West Virginia.

 

[Chiflyguy]

My dads been gone less than a year but I’ve swung by his grave a couple times.
It’s 5 minutes from work so I do a drive by.
I visited my parents 2-3 times a week while my dad was alive.
I made sure to spend time when he was alive.
When he died, we were on great terms.

 

[bigtex]

I probably don't go as often as I should and sometimes feel guilty about it. It really just boils down to a show of respect for the deceased. Both of my parents, my first wife and only daughter are buried in the same cemetery, so I have no excuse not to go.

 

[Dbllunger]

I've only visited a grave site once in my life other than the day of a funeral for a loved one. My favorite aunt passed away about 6 months ago and I was hospitalized with a ruptured appendix during her funeral. When I got healthy I did visit her grave site alone to pay my belated respects and to finish mourning.

 

[rem270]

My granddad died in 2019 and I didn't visit the gravesite until my grandmother was buried there in January of this year. Now since I'm living back home I drive by it every day to work but have never stopped. I miss and think about them daily but to me I wouldn't get anything out of staring at their head stone.

 

[Tn_Va_Hunter]

My papaw died February 2002. He wishes was for his grandsons to dig his grave. To which we did. The only time I went back was when my great aunt died last year. I chose to remember the times he tied me to him while fishing so I wouldn’t wash down stream, or thr time he shot two squirrels with one shot not looking. Man I miss him.

 

[cecil30-30]

My sister and brother in law whoni was very close to both have been gone 9 years. I think about them both daily still 9 years after the fact but have only been to their Graves just a a handfull of times. That's their Graves but I know they are not there. I dont really have a connection with the burial place.

 

[Dodge Man]

My dad passed away a few months ago and I have been to the cemetery a few times on some rough days when I can’t quit thinking about him. I stop by and it is still pretty hard. I don’t feel like he is there but I don’t have any other place to go. I have not really come to full grip’s he is gone.

 

[moondawg]

I haven't been in several years. That doesn't mean I don't think about them, though.

 

[Pic IN the Casa]

I understand why some want to visit graves. My dad died in 1982, only been there three times. Once was for another burial at the cemetery.

 

[ImThere]

I was very close to my Grandfather, when I was young I would stop by his grave site and talk things out with him. Maybe once a month or so
Then when my Dad past I would do the same. We moved away some 20+ years ago now. Or I may would still stop by.

 

[Lost Lake]

My mom and step dad are still alive, and one grandparent died about 17 years ago. I visit his grave a couple times a year, and the same for a dear friend who was like a big brother to me. My dad is buried in Columbus, Georgia near Ft. Benning. He was KIA in Vietnam, so I try to visit on this weekend, and maybe around Christmas, even though it’s a long drive.

My wife wants to be cremated because no one usually visits graves in her opinion.

I guess I’m the odd ball these days, but I try to visit as much as I can. Sometimes I just need to say a few things to them.

 

[Snake]

Used to go once a year and my wife used to put flowers on graves every spring but the last few years hasn't been the case. This is one reason the wife and I are going to be cremated. I've seen cemeteries that have been let go to the point they don't even look like cemeteries. I've searched the scriptures and see nothing wrong with cremation. It's much easier on the family plus if you want you can keep their ashes with you . When your body is gone it's gone !

 

[MoonBuzzard]

I know of at least one person locally that goes at least once daily, sometimes twice. Eats their lunch DAILY graveside. It was an adult child they lost years back but I guess they just can't accept it. While I understand the loss on one level to me personally this person now has a complex because of it and needs to seek professional help. But since it's a free country (for now) I just make every attempt to avoid them when I encounter them in a store in town Live and let live and all that.