Help/advice

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Dr2kill

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Andersonville, TN
I was asked to speak at my brother in laws funeral this week. I'm having a hard time with his passing and I want to be able to talk about him without breaking down. How do you do it? Just trying to write down what I want to say makes me tear up. I need this for closure, I'm not afraid to speak in public, just don't want to break down. Any advice?
 
TNRifleman

TNRifleman

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Nobody expects you to not break down. Speak from your heart and you will get through it.

I have done this a few times at family funerals and I have yet to make it through without some sort of break down.
 
rem270

rem270

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That will be a tough one. No one will think anything of it if you do break down. Get up there and make him proud. You will do great. Prayers sent for all of yall.
 
fairchaser

fairchaser

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Just practice a few times and you will depersonalize each time. Not too much or you might come off cold. I’m sure you want the attention focused on the deceased and not you. My condolences.
 
duckduck84

duckduck84

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There's no way to take the emotion out of it, nor should you, but if I can offer any advice it's these things:

1. Practice the speech 4 times. Each time you feel like you are about to breakdown, pause, breathe in and out slowly, and continue. Don't pause too long.

2. Don't make prolonged eye contact with family or friends in the front few rows. This will allow you to not reflect too much on their emotional reaction to the speech, which will cause more emotions in you. Look towards the back where you are still looking at everyone there, but are more likely to find a less emotional face.

3. Pray for strength. I'm not sure if you believe in God or not, but if you do, pray for strength to deliver the speech. Pray for comfort and peace.

That's about the best advice I can give. I did those things at my Grandmother's funeral when I was in my early 20s and managed to get through it. I'll be praying for you and your family.

Sent from my LG-H820 using Tapatalk
 
edtcase

edtcase

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I agree. Practice a few times realizing that you may break down. I did at my mother’s funeral. It was hard but I wanted to say a few words. No one thought worse of me because I did. My condolences.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
 
Kimber45

Kimber45

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duckduck84":152apeyj said:
There's no way to take the emotion out of it, nor should you, but if I can offer any advice it's these things:

1. Practice the speech 4 times. Each time you feel like you are about to breakdown, pause, breathe in and out slowly, and continue. Don't pause too long.

2. Don't make prolonged eye contact with family or friends in the front few rows. This will allow you to not reflect too much on their emotional reaction to the speech, which will cause more emotions in you. Look towards the back where you are still looking at everyone there, but are more likely to find a less emotional face.

3. Pray for strength. I'm not sure if you believe in God or not, but if you do, pray for strength to deliver the speech. Pray for comfort and peace.

That's about the best advice I can give. I did those things at my Grandmother's funeral when I was in my early 20s and managed to get through it. I'll be praying for you and your family.

Sent from my LG-H820 using Tapatalk

This...

Prayers sent
 
Mudbone

Mudbone

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Old hickory Tn
Kimber45":10lebbdx said:
duckduck84":10lebbdx said:
There's no way to take the emotion out of it, nor should you, but if I can offer any advice it's these things:

1. Practice the speech 4 times. Each time you feel like you are about to breakdown, pause, breathe in and out slowly, and continue. Don't pause too long.

2. Don't make prolonged eye contact with family or friends in the front few rows. This will allow you to not reflect too much on their emotional reaction to the speech, which will cause more emotions in you. Look towards the back where you are still looking at everyone there, but are more likely to find a less emotional face.

3. Pray for strength. I'm not sure if you believe in God or not, but if you do, pray for strength to deliver the speech. Pray for comfort and peace.

That's about the best advice I can give. I did those things at my Grandmother's funeral when I was in my early 20s and managed to get through it. I'll be praying for you and your family.

Sent from my LG-H820 using Tapatalk

This...

Prayers sent
Yup.
Perfect. I’ve never been good at these things, but this sounds dead on. Wish I would have gotten this advice a time or two.
I will soon be in the same situation and will use these tips.
Prayers sent for you and yours.
 

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