Daughters getting married

ImThere

ImThere

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Ruger’s post about his son getting married has brought up a question or two I have for the group.
First my daughter and her fiancé have been living together for several years, like 4.
Secondly They both make very good money

Do you all think I should be paying for this marriage? His parents think so. She is getting married out of the country on a cruise. His parents keep adding an increasing number of expenses.
We payed for my sons small wedding it was $1500 all in they got married local at our church and we don’t know enough people for a reception here. I payed well over that for her dress alone.
So what’s y’alls take?


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RUGER

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Re: Daughters getting married

ImThere":2h9cjl48 said:
She is getting married out of the country on a cruise.
His parents keep adding an increasing number of expenses.
I payed well over that for her dress alone.



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1) This is more along the lines of what I would think would happen on a honeymoon instead of a wedding, that is on them.
2) That should be on his parents.
3) You have done enough


That's just me.
When I got married my mom cooked the rehearsal supper. We had BBQ.
 
huntinkev

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Re: Daughters getting married

I don't know, but if HIS parents keep adding expenses...I say let his parents pay for it. :D

You could maybe give them a set dollar amount toward the wedding (whatever figure you come up with $1500, $5000, etc; wedding dress included)if they go over then let his parents cover the rest, if they don't use it all let them keep it. Although, it sounds like they will use it plus some.

My FIL did this when I got married, he told my wife this is how much I'm giving you for the wedding. You can spend it all on the wedding or go as cheap as you want and the rest is yours. We went pretty cheap, got married in our church and my granny did all the flowers. :)
 
JeepKuntry

JeepKuntry

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Re: Daughters getting married

Traditionally the bride's parents pay for most of the wedding. That being said, when you start talking traveling expenses for beach weddings, cruises, etc I think it's time to have discussion with the couple. Take his parent's out of it. The topic seems to imply they are very opinionated, but not willing to pony up.

As for my wedding, my wife's parents paid less than a hundred bucks. She literally had fake flowers set up and that was it. Our wedding was between 4-5 grand for everything. My parents paid for the rehearsal dinner, and the cost to reserve the reception hall. We paid the balance.
 
L

Laserman1

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Re: Daughters getting married

I would help out but would not pay for it all. They lived together for 4 years already. It's on them now.
 
Wildcat

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Re: Daughters getting married

She is getting married out of the country on a cruise.

Sounds they went though my cousin. That's what she does for a living, she puts weddings together all over the Caribbean and resorts on both sides of Mexico. Each wedding averages 120 guests with all of them flying to where ever the weddings are. Those things cost a ton of money. She's having one next week in Cabo , Mexico at this large brand new resort. Total wedding cost, $130,000. Crazy but she's booked solid though Nov 2020.
 
K

knightrider

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Re: Daughters getting married

when mine moved out and in with him that was the deal breaker, I bought her a dress paid for some food and that's it.
 
R

RandyinTN

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Re: Daughters getting married

I would give some thought to how much you want to spend then make an offer to your daughter and her future husband. The offer being take the cash to spend on starting your life together or it can be applied to the cost of the wedding they will be paying for.
 
B

BMan

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Re: Daughters getting married

Set a budget top end and tell your daughter that is what you will pay. Anything above that comes out of someone else's bank account.

Ensures there are no misunderstandings.
 
P

PalsPal

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Re: Daughters getting married

BMan":1tr68m32 said:
Set a budget top end and tell your daughter that is what you will pay. Anything above that comes out of someone else's bank account.

Ensures there are no misunderstandings.

That's what we are doing. The wedding is in April. Now, if I can just make sure my wife to adheres to it.

BTW, they both are out of school and have good jobs.
 
L

leader

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Re: Daughters getting married

ImThere":265sr9cu said:
Ruger’s post about his son getting married has brought up a question or two I have for the group.
First my daughter and her fiancé have been living together for several years, like 4.
Secondly They both make very good money

Do you all think I should be paying for this marriage? His parents think so. She is getting married out of the country on a cruise. His parents keep adding an increasing number of expenses.
We payed for my sons small wedding it was $1500 all in they got married local at our church and we don’t know enough people for a reception here. I payed well over that for her dress alone.
So what’s y’alls take?


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How old are they?


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TNGunsmoke

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Re: Daughters getting married

I'd say if they're old enough to be out living together for 4 years, then the wedding is theirs to plan/pay for. If you decide to help out, give them a pre-paid visa card with whatever amount on it, and that is your contribution to the marriage. They can spend it on wedding, or take it to do the honeymoon, or save it and spend it on stuff they need.
 
KPH

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Re: Daughters getting married

Heck with what his parents think. It is your money you only have so much that you can spend on this so go with what you can afford and let that be it. This is from someone who saw two daughters married. Also if I could catch one of my ex son-laws I would be going to prison.
 
ImThere

ImThere

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Daughters getting married

leader":zwdsc5du said:
ImThere":zwdsc5du said:
Ruger’s post about his son getting married has brought up a question or two I have for the group.
First my daughter and her fiancé have been living together for several years, like 4.
Secondly They both make very good money

Do you all think I should be paying for this marriage? His parents think so. She is getting married out of the country on a cruise. His parents keep adding an increasing number of expenses.
We payed for my sons small wedding it was $1500 all in they got married local at our church and we don’t know enough people for a reception here. I payed well over that for her dress alone.
So what’s y’alls take?


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How old are they?


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shes 26 he’s 29

They will be 27 and 30 by the wedding
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TNGRIZZLY_

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Re: Daughters getting married

my 2 cents: give them $1500 and say that is what you paid for her brother wedding, anything else is on them and be firm about it.
 
TNRazorback

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Re: Daughters getting married

All “the father pays” bets off the minute they had toothbrushes in the same cup
 
Ladys man

Ladys man

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Re: Daughters getting married

I got married 4 yrs ago my parents helped in a couple of the items nothing huge and my mom done rehearsal diner. Her dad done wedding diner and his best friend is professional DJ so he took care of that. We payed for the venue, clothing and everything else.
 
RUGER

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Re: Daughters getting married

TNRazorback":2n3v74bh said:
All “the father pays” bets off the minute they had toothbrushes in the same cup
Good way to look at it.


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ImThere

ImThere

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Re: Daughters getting married

RUGER":27jvvnof said:
TNRazorback":27jvvnof said:
All “the father pays” bets off the minute they had toothbrushes in the same cup
Good way to look at it.


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It’s really how I feel. I have helped where I can a feel like I want to. But the grooms family seems astonished I’m not paying for the whole thing


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RUGER

RUGER

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Re: Daughters getting married

ImThere":1f9x2gzc said:
RUGER":1f9x2gzc said:
TNRazorback":1f9x2gzc said:
All “the father pays” bets off the minute they had toothbrushes in the same cup
Good way to look at it.


Sent from my LGL52VL using Tapatalk
It’s really how I feel. I have helped where I can a feel like I want to. But the grooms family seems astonished I’m not paying for the whole thing


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I hate that man.
Hope it all goes off well with no drama.


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