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#3328360 - 08/19/13 06:58 PM Re: TN DEER SUPERLATIVES [Re: jos3ywales]
Barrett
formerly bad_deer24
12 Point


Registered: 11/09/06
Posts: 6901
Loc: Nolensville, TN

Offline
 Originally Posted By: jos3ywales
 Originally Posted By: Barrett
Most likely to get bit by a spider.... Ruger



Most Likely to get banned Barrett \:D \:D


;\)
_________________________


"Don't Be Where They Are, Be Where They're Gonna Be"

>------>


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#3328363 - 08/19/13 07:00 PM Re: TN DEER SUPERLATIVES [Re: jos3ywales]
Barrett
formerly bad_deer24
12 Point


Registered: 11/09/06
Posts: 6901
Loc: Nolensville, TN

Offline
 Originally Posted By: jos3ywales
 Originally Posted By: Barrett
Most likely to get bit by a spider.... Ruger



Most Likely to get banned Barrett \:D \:D


;\)
_________________________


"Don't Be Where They Are, Be Where They're Gonna Be"

>------>


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#3328387 - 08/19/13 07:16 PM Re: TN DEER SUPERLATIVES [Re: redblood]
plinker22
16 Point


Registered: 02/07/05
Posts: 12880
Loc: Mountians of East Tennessee

Offline
Most likely to kill a HUGE Hermaphrodite Deer..... dtwnn
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NOTICE: The party in Hell has been canceled due to Fire!

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#3328476 - 08/19/13 08:27 PM Re: TN DEER SUPERLATIVES [Re: TNReb]
redblood
16 Point


Registered: 01/22/06
Posts: 15381
Loc: Lewisburg

Offline
 Originally Posted By: Nyper
 Originally Posted By: redblood
 Originally Posted By: Deer Assassin
most likely to crap out of a tree stand...Show me horns




i have a feeling there is a story behind this gastric nomination


Here ya go.... \:\)

----------------------------
BEGIN
----------------------------

It started out a beautiful, frosty and cold morning in VA, it was a early season bow hunt that I always attended. That morning I had awakened and was feeling a little under the weather, but it was not an option to stay home, I had attended for several years and had an obligation to the boys. On the 30 minute drive over I kept thinking to myself "I just don't feel right", but continued on the trip knowing that if I let my friends down that I would never hear the end of it.

After arriving at the farm we all sit down on the porch for the game plan. I had decided that I would stay at the cabin for a little while until I felt a little better, but again, the boys would have none of it. It was decided that I would go to the nearest stand site since I wasn't feeling the best in the world. We all had radios so I figured if something went wrong I would have communication and it wouldn't be a big deal. On the way to the stand I caught my second wind. I actually started feeling OK and thought the morning would turn out to be ‘aight’.

I climbed up the stand and got situated and was settled in for the annual bow hunt. As I was thinking my lucky stars for my quick recovery I remembered the snacks I had brought along. This morning I had not packed anything major and decided it was going to be chocolate and water all day. I guess it was around 10 or so when my belly started rumbling and assumed it was where I had no breakfast so I opened up a couple of Reese cups and began to chow down. After the second Reese cup I could hear something brewing.

I thought to myself "maybe I should go ahead and get down just in case I get really sick", but decided I would try and tough it out. After 10 minutes or so the rumbling stopped so what do I decide to do? Yep, you got it, I eat another Reese cup. After the second Reese cup the rumbling started again only this time with some slight pain involved. I started getting a little uncomfortable, but the pains would come and go. After 30 minutes or so I decide that a little water might help out and began drinking.

Now, this is where everything turns to shat, literally. As soon as the water hit my stomach it was like a chemical reaction. All of a sudden I got that "mud turtle" or "prairie dog" feeling. I wanted to climb down, but I was afraid to stand up. I thought If I would stand up slowly that it might work with me so I grabbed the hand rails and started to pick myself up off the seat. I got a inch or two up and then it hit......."Oh good lord, if move another inch all crap my pants full right here in my stand" so I slowly sit back down.

Now I'm in a pickle, here I am with a brown snake in a head lock and I can't get up to do anything about it. A little more time passes and the pains grow increasingly tense. I think to myself "if it would just let up for a few minutes I'll climb down and do the deed". Sure enough I get a break in the action and decide I better take advantage of it. I had a rope tied to my stand on each side, one for my bow and one for my backpack. I take my bow and tie it to the rope and lower it down to the ground. Then I take the backpack and do the same. About the time the back pack hits the ground..........wham.....it Hits me, "oh good lord the pain, please just give me time to hit the ground".

I turn around to face the tree and start the (what seemed like 100' decent) trip to the bottom. I get about 2 foot and get "that feeling". I immediately turn around and start undoing my belt. As soon as the belt is undone I think "if I hang my a$$ over now I'll shat on my bow or backpack one". I grab the rope on the right side of my stand and begin swinging until the pack is well behind the tree and out of reach from what is about to go down. I get my pants undone and no sooner that they hit my ankles I'm leaned over the left side of my stand and the explosion occurs.

I'm broke out in a cold sweat, head in my hands and hanging on for dear life when it hits me, "Oh no I didn't, Oh sweet Jesus, I'm on right side of my stand and I swung the left side out of the way, NO NO, NO , please tell me I didn't just shat on my bow!!". After cleaning up the best I could I turn around to check out the damage. I look down and am amazed at what I find. Not only did I shat on my bow, but it was covered from axle to mother flippin’ axle. I turn around, stick my feet in the stirrups and grab a hold of the side bars only to find my right hand has found a small patch of toxic waste. I do the best I can to get what I can off and I start the long climb down, thinking every couple of feet "how could you possibly be that stupid, you've just shat all over your feakin’ bow!?!".

I finally hit the ground and step over to check out the damage and it was even worse than what I expected. There wasn't even a place I could pick my bow up. It was covered from axle to axle and front to back. The round cosmic sight was full, I couldn't even see the single pin inside of it. I found a leaf and wiped enough of the cam off to where I could get a hold of it and packed my stuff and headed back to the cabin.

All the way back all I was thinking was "if I can just get back to the cabin, get this thing washed off without anyone seeing me and get out of dodge", but as I rounded the corner there they sit. Not 1 of them, but all 4 of my buddies are on the porch. When I got close enough to where they could see my bow the closest ask "Is that shat on your bow" yes, I replied "how did that happen" he asks. I looked at him one time and come back with "I was walking back out of the woods when two fellas jumped me. One of them held me down while the other crapped all over my bow". He looks at me puzzled like and says "in all my years of coming up here I never known anything like that to happen??". I looked back at him with a even more puzzled look and reply "Terry, that was a lie. I shat on my bow. I got sick, couldn't make it down and shat on my bow. Is that better?” They all lost it, we laughed for hours on end while trying to figure out how to clean up the mess.

After a hour or so of laughing and cleaning up my bow I decided that I had drove over there and wanted to finish the day out, regardless of my misfortune earlier in the morning. I got set back up (in a different location) and was ready to rock. As soon as I sit down and everything got still this odor passes in front of my nose. I immediately know what I smell, "that's shat" I tell myself. I get out my scent killer, but there wasn't enough scent killer in the 3 surrounding counties to kill this smell. The longer I sit there the more I realized that I might as well be hunting with a turd. With 4 or 5 hours of daylight left I went ahead a cut my losses and headed to the house.


----------------------------
END
----------------------------





bow for sale!!!!
_________________________
"I will predator hunt for food "

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#3328525 - 08/19/13 08:55 PM Re: TN DEER SUPERLATIVES [Re: redblood]
7mm08
12 Point


Registered: 09/12/07
Posts: 5211
Loc: In a river hopefully!

Offline
Takes a real man to admit to that! \:\)

Made my night.
_________________________
I hunt and fish not for the thrill of the kill, but for the thrill of the grill!!

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#3328601 - 08/19/13 09:41 PM Re: TN DEER SUPERLATIVES [Re: 7mm08]
infoman jr.
10 Point


Registered: 10/05/03
Posts: 4387
Loc: Elizabethtown, KY

Offline
Most likely to start a thread posting only a link and no comments:
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NRA Lifetime Member

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