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#3305462 - 07/29/13 02:22 PM Advice needed with bullying boss (long read)
moondawg
16 Point


Registered: 06/19/02
Posts: 19131
Loc: Millington, TN

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My wife works for a property management company as a property manager. She has only been there for a few months. She is being trained by someone (will refer to her to as Mrs. Boss) who has been in the business for 20+ years.

My wife is harassed/belittled/talked down to almost on a daily basis by Mrs Boss. Apparently my wife isn't the only target. This boss has talked down to several employees, including maintenance people, another property managers, and a few assistants. Several employees have quit, mainly because they can't handle Mrs. Boss' attitude.

Here's a few things my wife has told me:

*when my wife was going to hire an assistant, Mrs. Boss told her that she could'nt hire a black person. Even went so far as to tear up an application that a black person had filled out.
(yeah, I could not believe she did that!)

*makes her religious views VERY known. She is a "Christian", but comes across as cramming her views down your throat. Anything else is WRONG.

*makes belittling/snide comments. Mrs. Boss expects my wife to go out to lunch with her everyday. When my wife declines (like when she brings her own lunch, or just doesn't feel like going out), Mrs. Boss tries to make my wife feel bad, saying things like "I'll just have lunch ALL BY MYSELF, then".

*gets defensive. My wife will try to confront her and stand her ground (while being professional about it), Mrs. Boss will again make snide comments. Something like "you're just so sensitive".

*talks down to employees. And tenants of the property. Mrs. Boss will go off on people and say they're stupid. Mrs. Boss chided one of the maintenance people for not doing something correctly and asked "are you stupid?" Or something similar. The maintenance guy eventually got tired of her bullying and left.

*micromanage everything she does. They both work in an office. My wife can't even go to the bathroom with Mrs. Boss there. Or get coffee. In fact, the only way my wife can get coffee is to bring coffee for Mrs. Boss.

There's more, but these incidents readily come to mind.

To make matters worse, Mrs. Boss answers to the owner of the management company, for whom she has worked for 20+ yrs. I told my wife that she needs to report Mrs. Boss, but she doesn't think anything will be done due to Mrs. Boss' long term partnership with the owner. It'd be her word vs a long term manager.

I told her she needed to do one of four things.
*look for another job. She said she didn't know how she'd be able to, with Mrs. Boss micromanaging her. I told her she'd just have to either call in sick or tell Mrs. Boss that she has a doctor's appointment or something.

*directly confront Mrs. Boss and tell her the things she does. Even make a list of complaints and the things that she does. Maybe Mrs. Boss doesn't realize what she's doing.

*go to Mrs. Boss' boss, which would be the owner of the company. And her friend of 20+ years. And hope for the best.

*maybe contact an attorney about harassment.

My wife is afraid to report her or confront her, and fears retaliation. She fears that Mrs. Boss will make her life a living hell. I told my wife that her health is not worth dealing with Mrs. Boss and should just look for another job. She says Mrs. Boss won't be there forever and just wants to get through the training, knowing she'll leave eventually. My wife said she's had some bad bosses, but this is the worst.

So dear TNdeer followers...what would YOU do?
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#3305465 - 07/29/13 02:24 PM Re: Advice needed with bullying boss (long read) [Re: moondawg]
ferg
Cancer Free
16 Point


Registered: 07/29/04
Posts: 15534
Loc: At the TNDeer shirt factory %^...

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Mrs Boss has a boss - I'd have a site down with.... or file a formal EEO complaint -
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#3305481 - 07/29/13 02:33 PM Re: Advice needed with bullying boss (long read) [Re: ferg]
Dbllunger
10 Point


Registered: 12/08/04
Posts: 4520
Loc: Middle Tennessee

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Time for a new job. Mrs. Boss will not change and her boss will defend her. It isn't worth the hassle or stress to file a complaint with the EEOC. Move on and never look back. Good luck to you and your wife
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#3305486 - 07/29/13 02:34 PM Re: Advice needed with bullying boss (long read) [Re: ferg]
DaveB
10 Point


Registered: 09/03/08
Posts: 3625
Loc: Shelby County

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I worked for a guy like this for 4 years in CA. Eventually, he pulled a trick that cost him his job.

Almost anything your Wife does is going to cost her her position. Might be very useful if she could record some of Mrs. Boss's antics, particularly anything racial. Just FYI, the Owner is probably just like Mrs. Boss so you will need something definite that would go badly for them in court. She Says /She says is never a good thing.

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#3305488 - 07/29/13 02:36 PM Re: Advice needed with bullying boss (long read) [Re: Dbllunger]
BlountArrow
8 Point


Registered: 07/13/12
Posts: 2489
Loc: SouthEast Tenn

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I didn't read the whole post but after the first couple paragraphs I was thinking Mrs. Boss deserved a good ovary punch followed by a trachea chop. If she is without ovaries tell wife to punch where ovaries once resided.
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#3305499 - 07/29/13 02:46 PM Re: Advice needed with bullying boss (long read) [Re: BlountArrow]
Poser
Mud Dauber
16 Point


Registered: 07/28/10
Posts: 12533
Loc: Tennessee

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The whole discrimination issue is like an easy way to bring the boss down. Tearing up the application of a person because of their race would be a discrimination case waiting to happen, especially of that applicant were notified.
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#3305510 - 07/29/13 03:00 PM Re: Advice needed with bullying boss (long read) [Re: Poser]
Crappie Luck Moderator
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Registered: 01/29/03
Posts: 60498
Loc: Smith Co.

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Sounds like a close knit, "Family" type business.

How much longer until she finishes her training?
Will this training help her with a different job or is it specific to this one company?

Short answer IMO is
1. Quit. Just do it in a way that helps her.

If her boss is BF with her boss's boss, getting boss #1 fired is only going to bring down the fury of Boss #2.

In the words of Amityville

"Get out"
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"To find out who your real rulers are, simply look to those whom you CANNOT criticize..."
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#3305512 - 07/29/13 03:02 PM Re: Advice needed with bullying boss (long read) [Re: Poser]
deerhunter10
10 Point


Registered: 08/21/12
Posts: 3368
Loc: maury county tn

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record her or get some very good evidence against her. and look for another job. no one in the world gets paid enough to be treated like that. just completely disrespectful.
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#3305528 - 07/29/13 03:17 PM Re: Advice needed with bullying boss (long read) [Re: deerhunter10]
leader
16 Point


Registered: 08/10/06
Posts: 10559
Loc: Knox

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She needs to quit, the first is the biggie( racial), the rest is just she said, she said in court or mediation.
The time and stress if anything legal would not be worth the rewards.
But I will say if she stands her ground and can prove dismissal through retaliation that's another biggie. Not an attorney and just my opinion....
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THE ONLY DUMB QUESTIONS ARE THOSE NEVER ASKED!

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#3305576 - 07/29/13 04:03 PM Re: Advice needed with bullying boss (long read) [Re: Crappie Luck]
moondawg
16 Point


Registered: 06/19/02
Posts: 19131
Loc: Millington, TN

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 Originally Posted By: Crappie Luck
Sounds like a close knit, "Family" type business.

How much longer until she finishes her training?
Will this training help her with a different job or is it specific to this one company?


I don't know how long she is in training. My wife doesn't know, either. This training is somewhat specific to this company...they do Section 8 property management. However, my wife has heard that if she can do this type of property management, she could move into a different type of property management once she learns the ropes, so to speak. That's why she doesn't want to just give up yet, she wants to learn all she can and eventually take that knowledge with her elsewhere.
_________________________
Don't look down, BE down!--Turkeyburd (Prevous 2012)

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