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#3268359 - 06/14/13 09:27 PM Chuck Norris
SEC
6 Point


Registered: 11/01/10
Posts: 652
Loc: TN

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When Alexander Graham Bell invented the telephone.....He had three missed calls from Chuck Norris.
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#3268370 - 06/14/13 09:43 PM Re: Chuck Norris [Re: SEC]
hunter0925
8 Point


Registered: 01/21/13
Posts: 1092
Loc: TN, Rhea,

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haahahahaha
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We the unwanted, do the unthinkable, for the ungrateful.
In Each Other We Trust.

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#3268376 - 06/14/13 09:59 PM Re: Chuck Norris [Re: hunter0925]
DeerKiller2012
6 Point


Registered: 11/15/11
Posts: 761
Loc: Southern Middle TN

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Lol lol
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#3268392 - 06/14/13 10:17 PM Re: Chuck Norris [Re: SEC]
Vermin93
12 Point


Registered: 12/11/10
Posts: 5751
Loc: Dallas, TX & Signal Mtn, TN

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_________________________
“The more I read and the more I listen, the more apparent it is that our society suffers from an alarming degree of public ignorance” - Retired Supreme Court Justice Sandra Day O’Connor

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#3268422 - 06/15/13 12:25 AM Re: Chuck Norris [Re: Vermin93]
CATCHDAWG
10 Point


Registered: 04/02/04
Posts: 3862
Loc: Bradley co. TN

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Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King and got one!
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woods n water

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#3268424 - 06/15/13 12:28 AM Re: Chuck Norris [Re: CATCHDAWG]
CATCHDAWG
10 Point


Registered: 04/02/04
Posts: 3862
Loc: Bradley co. TN

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On average, the right testicle is larger than the left. On Chuck Norris, each one is larger than the other...
_________________________
woods n water

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#3268441 - 06/15/13 04:30 AM Re: Chuck Norris [Re: CATCHDAWG]
bigluresonly
6 Point


Registered: 04/09/08
Posts: 771
Loc: Cookeville

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Chuck Norris likes his steak so rare he only eats unicorn!
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#3268444 - 06/15/13 04:58 AM Re: Chuck Norris [Re: bigluresonly]
6.5 swede
4 Point


Registered: 02/18/10
Posts: 285
Loc: Northwest Tn

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Chuck Norris can kick you so hard your blood will bleed!
_________________________
6.5 Swede

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#3268450 - 06/15/13 05:52 AM Re: Chuck Norris [Re: 6.5 swede]
bowhunter163
8 Point


Registered: 09/24/07
Posts: 2497
Loc: knoxville,tn

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The boogie man checks under his bed at night for Chuck Norris .
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For all your archery needs
Sportsmans choice pro shop
Knoxville, TN
865-922-5456

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#3268452 - 06/15/13 06:11 AM Re: Chuck Norris [Re: bowhunter163]
ROUGH COUNTRY HUNTER
16 Point


Registered: 11/12/10
Posts: 12539
Loc: FRANKLIN COUNTY

Offline
lol
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#3268462 - 06/15/13 07:33 AM Re: Chuck Norris [Re: ROUGH COUNTRY HUNTER]
fredfred
8 Point


Registered: 06/24/12
Posts: 1786
Loc: crossville, tn

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Chuck Norris doesn't tea bag people he Potato Sacks them
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AKA: Luke Sky Dumper

Democrats and liberals have turned our country into a bunch of SISSYS

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#3268531 - 06/15/13 11:58 AM Re: Chuck Norris [Re: fredfred]
tnfirefighter
8 Point


Registered: 10/11/04
Posts: 1657
Loc: East Tennessee

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Chuck Norris killed 2 stones with 1 bird LOL
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Walk by faith, Not by sight

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#3268536 - 06/15/13 12:36 PM Re: Chuck Norris [Re: tnfirefighter]
CATCHDAWG
10 Point


Registered: 04/02/04
Posts: 3862
Loc: Bradley co. TN

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Super man has a pair of Chuck Norris pajamas!
_________________________
woods n water

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#3268576 - 06/15/13 03:08 PM Re: Chuck Norris [Re: CATCHDAWG]
Eric Kilby
10 Point


Registered: 04/06/06
Posts: 3604
Loc: Tellico Plains

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Chuck Norris just wish he was Bruce Lee
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Right here in the forest i will find true happiness, the happiness that will not be contaminated by the mind of man.

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#3268596 - 06/15/13 04:07 PM Re: Chuck Norris [Re: Eric Kilby]
BamaProud
12 Point


Registered: 04/03/11
Posts: 6826
Loc: Shelby County, TN

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Chuck Norris made the Dos Equis guy ALWAYS drink beer.
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Save the Little ones for the Little Ones.
Wine-Down Brewing and Winemaking

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#3268603 - 06/15/13 04:19 PM Re: Chuck Norris [Re: BamaProud]
Kimber45 Moderator
Peace Maker
16 Point


Registered: 07/10/08
Posts: 18031
Loc: Close to Jackson, TN

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\:D
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Patriotism is not short, frenzied outbursts of emotion, but the tranquil and steady dedication of a lifetime.

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#3268608 - 06/15/13 04:39 PM Re: Chuck Norris [Re: Kimber45]
Hunting Daddy
4 Point


Registered: 09/05/11
Posts: 263
Loc: Rutherford County

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Pitt bulls have a picture of him tattooed on their shoulder
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#3268662 - 06/15/13 07:51 PM Re: Chuck Norris [Re: Hunting Daddy]
hunter0925
8 Point


Registered: 01/21/13
Posts: 1092
Loc: TN, Rhea,

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Chuck Norris doesn't wear a watch. He simply decides what time it is.
_________________________
We the unwanted, do the unthinkable, for the ungrateful.
In Each Other We Trust.

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#3268663 - 06/15/13 07:51 PM Re: Chuck Norris [Re: hunter0925]
hunter0925
8 Point


Registered: 01/21/13
Posts: 1092
Loc: TN, Rhea,

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When Chuck Norris does a push up, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.
_________________________
We the unwanted, do the unthinkable, for the ungrateful.
In Each Other We Trust.

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#3268665 - 06/15/13 07:54 PM Re: Chuck Norris [Re: hunter0925]
hunter0925
8 Point


Registered: 01/21/13
Posts: 1092
Loc: TN, Rhea,

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Chuck Norris once visited the Virgin Islands. They are now The Islands.
_________________________
We the unwanted, do the unthinkable, for the ungrateful.
In Each Other We Trust.

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#3268668 - 06/15/13 07:58 PM Re: Chuck Norris [Re: hunter0925]
hunter0925
8 Point


Registered: 01/21/13
Posts: 1092
Loc: TN, Rhea,

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Chuck Norris sleeps with a night light. Not because Chuck Norris is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris.

If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you.


Chuck Norris doesn't actually write books. The words assemble themselves out of fear.


Chuck Norris can divide by zero


Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.



Newton's Third Law is wrong: Although it states that for each action, there is an equal and opposite reaction, there is no force equal in reaction to a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick.


Chuck Norris counted to infinity - three times.
_________________________
We the unwanted, do the unthinkable, for the ungrateful.
In Each Other We Trust.

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#3268902 - 06/16/13 10:30 AM Re: Chuck Norris [Re: hunter0925]
moondawg
16 Point


Registered: 06/19/02
Posts: 19313
Loc: Millington, TN

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The White House can't wiretap Chuck Norris, he just lets them listen in his conversations.
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Don't look down, BE down!--Turkeyburd (Prevous 2012)

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#3268908 - 06/16/13 10:37 AM Re: Chuck Norris [Re: tnfirefighter]
AROD
8 Point


Registered: 10/02/05
Posts: 1254
Loc: maynardville, tn

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 Originally Posted By: tnfirefighter
Chuck Norris killed 2 stones with 1 bird LOL
lol to funny
_________________________
STUPID HURT'S
and if i had of took that shot!!!

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#3268948 - 06/16/13 12:26 PM Re: Chuck Norris [Re: AROD]
FOX FIRE
8 Point


Registered: 08/01/11
Posts: 1316
Loc: Mt. Eagle

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In this world ther is only 3 men whom all shall fear, & Chuck Norris gets Christmas cards from 2 fo them.
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When I was just a baby, my mama told me son, always be a good boy, dont ever play with guns.

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#3268954 - 06/16/13 12:42 PM Re: Chuck Norris [Re: FOX FIRE]
oakclimber
8 Point


Registered: 09/24/08
Posts: 2065
Loc: Shelby Co. Tn

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45acp.....Turning human garbage into useful fertilizer since 1911

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#3268996 - 06/16/13 02:35 PM Re: Chuck Norris [Re: oakclimber]
Bobcat
TnDeer Old Timer
10 Point


Registered: 05/04/00
Posts: 3205
Loc: Jackson, TN USA

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Chuck is so fast, he ran around the world and kicked himself in the back of the head
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#3269065 - 06/16/13 05:21 PM Re: Chuck Norris [Re: Bobcat]
7mm08
12 Point


Registered: 09/12/07
Posts: 5008
Loc: In a river hopefully!

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I think we operated on one of you guys!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


True story... One of my docs went into a patient's room one evening to discuss major surgery with the guy. The patient held up his open hand towards the doc and said " doctor, I cannot possibly concentrate on anything you have to say right now. Walker Texas Ranger is on and you will have to come back later so we discuss my surgery"......the surgeon walked out of the room shaking his head!


Edited by 7mm08 (06/16/13 05:22 PM)
_________________________
I hunt and fish not for the thrill of the kill, but for the thrill of the grill!!

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#3269073 - 06/16/13 05:45 PM Re: Chuck Norris [Re: 7mm08]
SEC
6 Point


Registered: 11/01/10
Posts: 652
Loc: TN

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Chuck norris once ate three 72oz steaks in one hour.That's quite a feat considering he spent the first 55 minutes on top of the table with the waitress.

Edited by SEC (06/16/13 05:46 PM)

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#3269330 - 06/17/13 07:07 AM Re: Chuck Norris [Re: SEC]
SEC
6 Point


Registered: 11/01/10
Posts: 652
Loc: TN

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Chuck Norris doesn't sleep he waits.
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#3269502 - 06/17/13 11:14 AM Re: Chuck Norris [Re: hunter0925]
MUP
Non-Typical


Registered: 08/01/07
Posts: 44858
Loc: Just North of Chatt-town

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_________________________
MUP

Amateurs: Built the Ark

Professionals: Built the Titanic

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#3269588 - 06/17/13 12:59 PM Re: Chuck Norris [Re: MUP]
Crosshairy
10 Point


Registered: 08/22/06
Posts: 2663
Loc: Bartlett, TN

Offline
Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
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I'm hungry and tired. Don't poke my belly.

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#3269650 - 06/17/13 02:14 PM Re: Chuck Norris [Re: Crosshairy]
Camp David
12 Point


Registered: 05/31/03
Posts: 5283
Loc: TN

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Chuck Norris can strangle you with a cordless phone.
_________________________
Why are we trying so hard to develop artificial intelligence when we should be trying to cure natural stupidity.

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#3269725 - 06/17/13 04:14 PM Re: Chuck Norris [Re: Camp David]
bigluresonly
6 Point


Registered: 04/09/08
Posts: 771
Loc: Cookeville

Offline
Chuck Norris' biceps are so big there is still snow on them in July.
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#3270043 - 06/18/13 03:14 AM Re: Chuck Norris [Re: bigluresonly]
DirtyBear0311
8 Point


Registered: 09/01/12
Posts: 1632
Loc: Milan, TN

Offline
Chuck Norris once went back in time and saved Amelia Earhart from crashing. He then immediately went back in time again, round-house kicked her and killed her. Chuck Norris shows no mercy.
_________________________
Semper Fi

Just because it's bad-a** don't mean it's a good idea.


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#3270066 - 06/18/13 05:58 AM Re: Chuck Norris [Re: DirtyBear0311]
The Hammer
4 Point


Registered: 11/27/12
Posts: 127
Loc: Bartlett Tn

Offline
Chuck Norris once flushed a condom and that is where the Teenage Mutant Ninja turtles came from.

Edited by The Hammer (06/18/13 06:00 AM)

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#3270167 - 06/18/13 08:29 AM Re: Chuck Norris [Re: The Hammer]
Woodson223
8 Point


Registered: 12/11/12
Posts: 2237
Loc: tn

Offline
Who is Chuck Norris isn't he the guy that played in broke back mt.
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#3270182 - 06/18/13 08:43 AM Re: Chuck Norris [Re: Woodson223]
MUP
Non-Typical


Registered: 08/01/07
Posts: 44858
Loc: Just North of Chatt-town

Offline
Oh no you di'unt? \:o
_________________________
MUP

Amateurs: Built the Ark

Professionals: Built the Titanic

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#3270185 - 06/18/13 08:44 AM Re: Chuck Norris [Re: The Hammer]
MUP
Non-Typical


Registered: 08/01/07
Posts: 44858
Loc: Just North of Chatt-town

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Love these Chuck-isms!
_________________________
MUP

Amateurs: Built the Ark

Professionals: Built the Titanic

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#3270271 - 06/18/13 10:43 AM Re: Chuck Norris [Re: MUP]
oakclimber
8 Point


Registered: 09/24/08
Posts: 2065
Loc: Shelby Co. Tn

Offline
_________________________
45acp.....Turning human garbage into useful fertilizer since 1911

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#3270290 - 06/18/13 11:06 AM Re: Chuck Norris [Re: oakclimber]
SEC
6 Point


Registered: 11/01/10
Posts: 652
Loc: TN

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 Originally Posted By: oakclimber
Thats funny right there.

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#3270298 - 06/18/13 11:20 AM Re: Chuck Norris [Re: SEC]
Crow Terminator
TnDeer Old Timer
14 Point


Registered: 10/23/99
Posts: 8956
Loc: McMinn County

Offline
Chuck Norris got bit by a cobra one time...and after several days of agonizing pain, the cobra finally died.
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#3270329 - 06/18/13 12:17 PM Re: Chuck Norris [Re: Crow Terminator]
CountryBoy053
8 Point


Registered: 04/16/11
Posts: 1248
Loc: Blount Co., TN

Offline
Hahaha too funny
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We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.

You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice

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#3270356 - 06/18/13 12:42 PM Re: Chuck Norris [Re: CountryBoy053]
Tennessee Todd Moderator
Communicates like Rad
16 Point


Registered: 03/12/99
Posts: 12686
Loc: TuTu City, Tn

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Chuck Norris' calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd, no one fools Chuck Norris.
_________________________
This Country might survive Obama but what we won't survive is the mindset that elected him.

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#3270358 - 06/18/13 12:42 PM Re: Chuck Norris [Re: Tennessee Todd]
Tennessee Todd Moderator
Communicates like Rad
16 Point


Registered: 03/12/99
Posts: 12686
Loc: TuTu City, Tn

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Chuck Norris was once on Celebrity Wheel of Fortune and was the first to spin. The next 29 minutes of the show consisted of everyone standing around awkwardly, waiting for the wheel to stop.
_________________________
This Country might survive Obama but what we won't survive is the mindset that elected him.

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#3270366 - 06/18/13 12:47 PM Re: Chuck Norris [Re: Tennessee Todd]
Tennessee Todd Moderator
Communicates like Rad
16 Point


Registered: 03/12/99
Posts: 12686
Loc: TuTu City, Tn

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People blame TWRA for the new Hog regulations. It was actually Chuck Norris.
_________________________
This Country might survive Obama but what we won't survive is the mindset that elected him.

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#3270397 - 06/18/13 01:34 PM Re: Chuck Norris [Re: Tennessee Todd]
Kimber45 Moderator
Peace Maker
16 Point


Registered: 07/10/08
Posts: 18031
Loc: Close to Jackson, TN

Offline
When Chuck Norris decided to be born he crawled out and punched the Dr in the mouth for grabbing his head on the way out
_________________________
Patriotism is not short, frenzied outbursts of emotion, but the tranquil and steady dedication of a lifetime.

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#3270457 - 06/18/13 03:32 PM Re: Chuck Norris [Re: Kimber45]
paincave_2000
10 Point


Registered: 08/21/05
Posts: 2567
Loc: Bedford Co.

Offline
Sorry for the language
_________________________
State Mental Health Department certified 5150.

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#3271050 - 06/19/13 10:12 AM Re: Chuck Norris [Re: paincave_2000]
Hunter 257W
10 Point


Registered: 10/04/12
Posts: 3187
Loc: Franklin County

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How did Chuyck Norris get such a reputation for being so tough? I always thought of him as a very minor action movie hero???? He's ok but I don't see how he got to be the one all these "tough" jokes spawn from?
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#3271054 - 06/19/13 10:16 AM Re: Chuck Norris [Re: Hunter 257W]
MUP
Non-Typical


Registered: 08/01/07
Posts: 44858
Loc: Just North of Chatt-town

Offline
He's not an actor, he's a world champion martial artist. He just tried his hand at some movies b/c of his actual tough guy image. ;\)
_________________________
MUP

Amateurs: Built the Ark

Professionals: Built the Titanic

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#3271056 - 06/19/13 10:17 AM Re: Chuck Norris [Re: Hunter 257W]
Kimber45 Moderator
Peace Maker
16 Point


Registered: 07/10/08
Posts: 18031
Loc: Close to Jackson, TN

Offline
Chuck Norris = Long Term Bad Arse = Walker Texas Ranger.... The man is a Legendary Bad Arse \:\)
_________________________
Patriotism is not short, frenzied outbursts of emotion, but the tranquil and steady dedication of a lifetime.

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#3271078 - 06/19/13 10:48 AM Re: Chuck Norris [Re: hunter0925]
MUP
Non-Typical


Registered: 08/01/07
Posts: 44858
Loc: Just North of Chatt-town

Offline

Carlos Ray "Chuck" Norris (born March 10, 1940)[1] is an American martial artist and actor. After serving in the United States Air Force, he began his rise to fame as a martial artist, and has since founded his own school, Chun Kuk Do.

Norris appeared in a number of action films, such as Way of the Dragon, in which he starred alongside Bruce Lee, and was The Cannon Group's leading star in the 1980s.[2][3] He played the starring role in the television series Walker, Texas Ranger from 1993 until 2001.

Norris is a devout Christian and politically conservative. He has written several books on Christianity and donated to a number of Republican candidates and causes. In 2007 and 2008, he campaigned for former Arkansas Governor Mike Huckabee, who was running for the Republican nomination for President in 2008.[4] Norris also writes a column for the conservative website WorldNetDaily.[5]



Martial arts career




Norris was defeated in his first two tournaments, dropping decisions to Joe Lewis and Allen Steen and three matches at the International Karate Championships to Tony Tulleners. By 1967 Norris had improved enough that he scored victories over the likes of Lewis, Skipper Mullins, Arnold Urquidez, Victor Moore, Ron Marchini, and Steve Sanders. In early 1968, Norris suffered the tenth and last loss of his career, losing an upset decision to Louis Delgado. On November 24, 1968, he avenged his defeat to Delgado and by doing so won the Professional Middleweight Karate champion title, which he held for six consecutive years.[9] In 1969, he won Karate's triple crown for the most tournament wins of the year, and the Fighter of the Year award by Black Belt Magazine.

Norris made history in 1990 when he was the first Westerner in the documented history of Tae Kwon Do to be given the rank of 8th Degree Black Belt Grand Master.[13] On July 1, 2000, Norris was presented the Golden Lifetime Achievement Award by the World Karate Union Hall of Fame. In 1999, Norris was inducted into the Martial Arts History Museum's Hall of Fame [49]
_________________________
MUP

Amateurs: Built the Ark

Professionals: Built the Titanic

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#3271086 - 06/19/13 10:59 AM Re: Chuck Norris [Re: Kimber45]
Hunter 257W
10 Point


Registered: 10/04/12
Posts: 3187
Loc: Franklin County

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Yeah, I know he's a martial arts champion but still he's just not that outstanding as a poster child for being tough to me. He's too soft spoken and nice and not that impressive to look at. Don't get me wrong, I wish we had more like him in this world but I just don't get how it started with all these "Chuck Norris is so tough" jokes.
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#3271089 - 06/19/13 11:02 AM Re: Chuck Norris [Re: MUP]
dr
10 Point


Registered: 02/24/03
Posts: 4281
Loc: USA

Offline
BUT... ALL of Chuck's wins were in Amateur, Light contact, Point karate. Chuck never fought the likes of Joe Lewis, or Bill "Superfoot" Wallace in FULL CONTACT, knock em out, professional fights. Full contact fights are much different than point karate matches. Two of my former instructors held 10th degrees in Isshinryu.
_________________________
"Any man who thinks he can be happy and prosperous by letting the government take care of him --- better take a closer look at the American Indian." Henry Ford

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#3271090 - 06/19/13 11:02 AM Re: Chuck Norris [Re: Hunter 257W]
Happy Birthday Diehard Hunter
CRAMP
12 Point


Registered: 08/01/08
Posts: 6817
Loc: East Tennessee

Offline
 Originally Posted By: Hunter 257W
Yeah, I know he's a martial arts champion but still he's just not that outstanding as a poster child for being tough to me. He's too soft spoken and nice and not that impressive to look at. Don't get me wrong, I wish we had more like him in this world but I just don't get how it started with all these "Chuck Norris is so tough" jokes.


He hasn't taken a butt whippin' since 1968.......no matter how soft spoken or small starred he may be, that is impressive. Walk softly and carry a big stick!
_________________________
The recreational value of a game animal is inverse to the artificiality of its origin and the intensiveness of the management system that produced it. Aldo Leopold


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#3271096 - 06/19/13 11:11 AM Re: Chuck Norris [Re: Hunter 257W]
Crow Terminator
TnDeer Old Timer
14 Point


Registered: 10/23/99
Posts: 8956
Loc: McMinn County

Offline
 Originally Posted By: Hunter 257W
He's too soft spoken and nice and not that impressive to look at.


Which those attributes are the perfect ingredients for getting your butt kicked before you even know it has been kicked. Nobody thinks anything about the soft spoken, normal looking nice guy...mess with them thinking they are an easy target to pick on and BAM...you're riding unicorns in a mystical land.

Like this guy:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7CHylE-bVwY


And this guy...notice...soft spoken and not excitable.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ehZ7fYDVtiY

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#3271102 - 06/19/13 11:19 AM Re: Chuck Norris [Re: hunter0925]
MUP
Non-Typical


Registered: 08/01/07
Posts: 44858
Loc: Just North of Chatt-town

Offline
IMO, it's a combination of his characteristics that makes him a formidable man.
_________________________
MUP

Amateurs: Built the Ark

Professionals: Built the Titanic

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#3271117 - 06/19/13 11:47 AM Re: Chuck Norris [Re: MUP]
dr
10 Point


Registered: 02/24/03
Posts: 4281
Loc: USA

Offline
 Originally Posted By: MUP
IMO, it's a combination of his characteristics that makes him a formidable man.

No doubt, I've admired, respected Chuck for many years. He is a very disciplined , able karate man, But, many people confuse sport karate fighters with full contact fighters. Sport karate, point fighting is like playing tag, where you try to score points by kicking or punching to a vital area, using light contact. You can even be disqualified for using excessive force.

In Full contact the object is to knock your opponent out. It takes a whole lot more training, and toughness to excel in full contact, and vey few sport karate fighters ever get to that level.
_________________________
"Any man who thinks he can be happy and prosperous by letting the government take care of him --- better take a closer look at the American Indian." Henry Ford

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#3271128 - 06/19/13 12:05 PM Re: Chuck Norris [Re: dr]
MUP
Non-Typical


Registered: 08/01/07
Posts: 44858
Loc: Just North of Chatt-town

Offline
Of that I have no doubt. ;\)
_________________________
MUP

Amateurs: Built the Ark

Professionals: Built the Titanic

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#3271135 - 06/19/13 12:14 PM Re: Chuck Norris [Re: Hunter 257W]
Tennessee Todd Moderator
Communicates like Rad
16 Point


Registered: 03/12/99
Posts: 12686
Loc: TuTu City, Tn

Offline
 Originally Posted By: Hunter 257W
Yeah, I know he's a martial arts champion but still he's just not that outstanding as a poster child for being tough to me. He's too soft spoken and nice and not that impressive to look at. Don't get me wrong, I wish we had more like him in this world but I just don't get how it started with all these "Chuck Norris is so tough" jokes.


Do you really know what's in SPAM? It's people that questioned Chuck Norris being tough.

Proceed with caution.
_________________________
This Country might survive Obama but what we won't survive is the mindset that elected him.

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#3271155 - 06/19/13 12:26 PM Re: Chuck Norris [Re: Tennessee Todd]
MUP
Non-Typical


Registered: 08/01/07
Posts: 44858
Loc: Just North of Chatt-town

Offline
\:D
_________________________
MUP

Amateurs: Built the Ark

Professionals: Built the Titanic

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#3271161 - 06/19/13 12:27 PM Re: Chuck Norris [Re: Tennessee Todd]
catman529
spiderboy
16 Point


Registered: 11/10/10
Posts: 16658
Loc: Franklin TN

Offline
 Originally Posted By: Tennessee Todd
 Originally Posted By: Hunter 257W
Yeah, I know he's a martial arts champion but still he's just not that outstanding as a poster child for being tough to me. He's too soft spoken and nice and not that impressive to look at. Don't get me wrong, I wish we had more like him in this world but I just don't get how it started with all these "Chuck Norris is so tough" jokes.


Do you really know what's in SPAM? It's people that questioned Chuck Norris being tough.

Proceed with caution.
spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, baked beans, spam, spam, spam, and spam...
_________________________
Haven't been this excited about deer season

...since last deer season

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#3271206 - 06/19/13 01:17 PM Re: Chuck Norris [Re: hunter0925]
MUP
Non-Typical


Registered: 08/01/07
Posts: 44858
Loc: Just North of Chatt-town

Offline
Chuck Norris frequently donates blood to the Red Cross...just never his own.
_________________________
MUP

Amateurs: Built the Ark

Professionals: Built the Titanic

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#3271210 - 06/19/13 01:22 PM Re: Chuck Norris [Re: MUP]
Kimber45 Moderator
Peace Maker
16 Point


Registered: 07/10/08
Posts: 18031
Loc: Close to Jackson, TN

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 Originally Posted By: MUP
Chuck Norris frequently donates blood to the Red Cross...just never his own.


Chuck Norris stops by the Blood Bank and blood starts to bleed more blood!
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Patriotism is not short, frenzied outbursts of emotion, but the tranquil and steady dedication of a lifetime.

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#3271211 - 06/19/13 01:23 PM Re: Chuck Norris [Re: Hunter 257W]
BMan
16 Point


Registered: 02/06/06
Posts: 10565
Loc: Middle TN

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 Originally Posted By: Hunter 257W
Yeah, I know he's a martial arts champion but still he's just not that outstanding as a poster child for being tough to me. He's too soft spoken and nice and not that impressive to look at. Don't get me wrong, I wish we had more like him in this world but I just don't get how it started with all these "Chuck Norris is so tough" jokes.

Toughest person I ever knew was short, skinny, and pretty mild mannered.

When you're truly tough, you don't have to act it.
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#3271229 - 06/19/13 01:35 PM Re: Chuck Norris [Re: BMan]
PalsPal
8 Point


Registered: 10/01/12
Posts: 1331
Loc: TN

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 Originally Posted By: BMan

Toughest person I ever knew was short, skinny, and pretty mild mannered.

When you're truly tough, you don't have to act it.


I didn't see it personally, but was told about a fellow at the stock barn a few years ago who was in line to unload cattle. Some guy pulled up and cut line in front of him and backed his truck up to unload. He was a big guy and got out of his truck acting like he owned the place.

About that time the much smaller guy got out of his truck and proceeded to walk up and cleaned the big guys clock. He just walked back to his truck mumbling something about he told him he better not cut line \:D !

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#3271236 - 06/19/13 01:42 PM Re: Chuck Norris [Re: MUP]
MUP
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Registered: 08/01/07
Posts: 44858
Loc: Just North of Chatt-town

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Chuck Norris can lead a horse to water, AND make it drink!
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MUP

Amateurs: Built the Ark

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#3271238 - 06/19/13 01:43 PM Re: Chuck Norris [Re: hunter0925]
MUP
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Registered: 08/01/07
Posts: 44858
Loc: Just North of Chatt-town

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If at first you don't succeed...you're not Chuck Norris!
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MUP

Amateurs: Built the Ark

Professionals: Built the Titanic

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#3271240 - 06/19/13 01:44 PM Re: Chuck Norris [Re: hunter0925]
MUP
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Registered: 08/01/07
Posts: 44858
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"Brokeback Mountain" is not just a movie. It's also what Chuck Norris calls the pile of dead ninjas in his front yard.
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MUP

Amateurs: Built the Ark

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#3271258 - 06/19/13 02:09 PM Re: Chuck Norris [Re: hunter0925]
MUP
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Registered: 08/01/07
Posts: 44858
Loc: Just North of Chatt-town

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Chuck Norris died 20 yrs ago...death just hasn't built up enough courage to tell him yet.
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MUP

Amateurs: Built the Ark

Professionals: Built the Titanic

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#3271259 - 06/19/13 02:21 PM Re: Chuck Norris [Re: hunter0925]
MUP
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Registered: 08/01/07
Posts: 44858
Loc: Just North of Chatt-town

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Death once had a "near Chuck Norris" experience.
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MUP

Amateurs: Built the Ark

Professionals: Built the Titanic

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#3271265 - 06/19/13 02:30 PM Re: Chuck Norris [Re: hunter0925]
MUP
Non-Typical


Registered: 08/01/07
Posts: 44858
Loc: Just North of Chatt-town

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Chuck Norris has a grizzly bear rug in his den...the bear's not dead, it's just afraid to move.
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MUP

Amateurs: Built the Ark

Professionals: Built the Titanic

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#3271391 - 06/19/13 07:09 PM Re: Chuck Norris [Re: Crow Terminator]
timberjack86
14 Point


Registered: 06/20/11
Posts: 7944
Loc: Grundy county

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 Originally Posted By: Crow Terminator
Chuck Norris got bit by a cobra one time...and after several days of agonizing pain, the cobra finally died.

\:D \:D
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#3271400 - 06/19/13 07:27 PM Re: Chuck Norris [Re: timberjack86]
SilverFox
12 Point


Registered: 10/16/10
Posts: 5077
Loc: Kodak TN

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There's no such thing as a tornado... Chuck Norris just really hates trailer parks.
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#3271593 - 06/20/13 04:35 AM Re: Chuck Norris [Re: SilverFox]
MUP
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Registered: 08/01/07
Posts: 44858
Loc: Just North of Chatt-town

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Chuck Norris was himself in a previous life.
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MUP

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#3271595 - 06/20/13 04:44 AM Re: Chuck Norris [Re: MUP]
paincave_2000
10 Point


Registered: 08/21/05
Posts: 2567
Loc: Bedford Co.

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#3271601 - 06/20/13 05:01 AM Re: Chuck Norris [Re: paincave_2000]
bigluresonly
6 Point


Registered: 04/09/08
Posts: 771
Loc: Cookeville

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Chuck Norris once round house kicked a cow through a chain link fence. That is how hamburger was invented.
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#3271731 - 06/20/13 08:44 AM Re: Chuck Norris [Re: MUP]
MUP
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Registered: 08/01/07
Posts: 44858
Loc: Just North of Chatt-town

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Fear of spiders is called Arachnaphobia, fear of tight spaces is called claustrophobia, fear of Chuck Norris is called logic.
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MUP

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Professionals: Built the Titanic

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#3271756 - 06/20/13 09:08 AM Re: Chuck Norris [Re: MUP]
Woodson223
8 Point


Registered: 12/11/12
Posts: 2237
Loc: tn

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Chuck Norris must live in Tennessee that's the reason there are no panthers here
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#3271801 - 06/20/13 10:06 AM Re: Chuck Norris [Re: Woodson223]
MUP
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Registered: 08/01/07
Posts: 44858
Loc: Just North of Chatt-town

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\:D
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MUP

Amateurs: Built the Ark

Professionals: Built the Titanic

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#3271816 - 06/20/13 10:33 AM Re: Chuck Norris [Re: hunter0925]
MUP
Non-Typical


Registered: 08/01/07
Posts: 44858
Loc: Just North of Chatt-town

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Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect Four in 3 moves.
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MUP

Amateurs: Built the Ark

Professionals: Built the Titanic

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#3271822 - 06/20/13 10:40 AM Re: Chuck Norris [Re: MUP]
MUP
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Registered: 08/01/07
Posts: 44858
Loc: Just North of Chatt-town

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There was once a street named Chuck Norris, but the name had to be changed b/c no one crosses Chuck Norris and lives. \:D
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MUP

Amateurs: Built the Ark

Professionals: Built the Titanic

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