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#3235714 - 04/30/13 03:49 PM Re: Odd relationshhip question.. [Re: Tennessee Todd]
fishboy1
16 Point


Registered: 01/13/03
Posts: 10493
Loc: Warren Co

Offline
First take a hard look at yourself. (don't answer here but think about these things)

1. Are you even looking for a serious long term/permanent relationship?
2. Are you interested in getting married?
3. Did you love her initially?
4. Did the WOW wear off and now the relationship is work?
5. Are you doing YOUR 100% to keep the relationship healthy?

There is a HUGE difference between "just dating" and looking for a life long mate. This sounds clinical but you will have to spend some personal time making a list of deal breakers and gotta have's for your serious committed relationship.
Important stuff like religious beliefs, kids, work, politics, Family issues......

Once the " Wheeeeee! this is fun!" Wears off, relationships are work and sacrifice. Keeping them fun is hard and it is easy to let things settle into a comfortable routine and get boring.

IF you have done the soul searching and she makes it past the deal breaker part of the screening process, then ask yourself....Why are you kicking her to the curb?
Perhaps the problem IS her, Perhaps it is You?

If it is because of a deal breaker, man up and talk with her. She will feel better about the break up, You will feel better about yourself, and both of you will be better people afterwards.

If its because of YOU.... the decision is much tougher. Do you talk with her about your issues? Do you suck it up and keep going? Do you try and work through whatever is making you want to leave?

Hope this helps and I wish you the best moving forward.
_________________________
If you can't trust people with freedom, how can you trust them with power ?




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#3235718 - 04/30/13 03:51 PM Re: Odd relationshhip question.. [Re: fishboy1]
jb3
10 Point


Registered: 02/23/09
Posts: 3995
Loc: Burns, TN

Offline
Her mom hot? That would definitely be a deal breaker.
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#3235733 - 04/30/13 04:02 PM Re: Odd relationshhip question.. [Re: Eric Kilby]
Buckykm1
Thunder Chicken Man
10 Point


Registered: 08/05/12
Posts: 3488
Loc: East Side

Offline
 Originally Posted By: Eric Kilby
I dont love her like a man should love a woman he wants to spend his life with, She is a awesome person and supports whatever i want to do, doesnt complain one bit about hunting , guns or fishing and will wait on me hand and foot if i so desired. She says she loves me with all her heart and everything but i dont feel the same and I guess I am to much of a softy because i have felt this way for a while but didnt want to make anyone cry...


You need to do this soon. Just seems to me that a lot of time is getting wasted on both sides. If you don't feel it, man just tell her.
_________________________
The More I Listen To Women, The Less Sense They Make.

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#3235739 - 04/30/13 04:17 PM Re: Odd relationshhip question.. [Re: Eric Kilby]
Harold Money jr
4 Point


Registered: 09/14/07
Posts: 217
Loc: East Tennessee

Offline
Tell her you saw the strangest thing in the tndeer general forum when she see's your post, she'll get the hint.
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#3235755 - 04/30/13 04:48 PM Re: Odd relationshhip question.. [Re: Harold Money jr]
shelbydeer
8 Point


Registered: 06/06/07
Posts: 1563
Loc: memphis

Offline
Do it now , it only gets tougher as time goes by , don't keep her going if u know the end result
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#3235757 - 04/30/13 04:51 PM Re: Odd relationshhip question.. [Re: shelbydeer]
jb3
10 Point


Registered: 02/23/09
Posts: 3995
Loc: Burns, TN

Offline
Don't drag it out. You ever seen "Fatal Attraction"? Heard the name Lorena Bobbit?
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#3235759 - 04/30/13 04:54 PM Re: Odd relationshhip question.. [Re: Harold Money jr]
leader
14 Point


Registered: 08/10/06
Posts: 9541
Loc: Knox

content Online
Have the talk, you may be surprised what you BOTH have to say....
_________________________
THE ONLY DUMB QUESTIONS ARE THOSE NEVER ASKED!

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#3235764 - 04/30/13 05:06 PM Re: Odd relationshhip question.. [Re: fishboy1]
Crosshairy
10 Point


Registered: 08/22/06
Posts: 2583
Loc: Bartlett, TN

Offline
 Originally Posted By: fishboy1
First take a hard look at yourself. (don't answer here but think about these things)

1. Are you even looking for a serious long term/permanent relationship?
2. Are you interested in getting married?
3. Did you love her initially?
4. Did the WOW wear off and now the relationship is work?
5. Are you doing YOUR 100% to keep the relationship healthy?

There is a HUGE difference between "just dating" and looking for a life long mate. This sounds clinical but you will have to spend some personal time making a list of deal breakers and gotta have's for your serious committed relationship.
Important stuff like religious beliefs, kids, work, politics, Family issues......

Once the " Wheeeeee! this is fun!" Wears off, relationships are work and sacrifice. Keeping them fun is hard and it is easy to let things settle into a comfortable routine and get boring.

IF you have done the soul searching and she makes it past the deal breaker part of the screening process, then ask yourself....Why are you kicking her to the curb?
Perhaps the problem IS her, Perhaps it is You?

If it is because of a deal breaker, man up and talk with her. She will feel better about the break up, You will feel better about yourself, and both of you will be better people afterwards.

If its because of YOU.... the decision is much tougher. Do you talk with her about your issues? Do you suck it up and keep going? Do you try and work through whatever is making you want to leave?

Hope this helps and I wish you the best moving forward.


This is good advice. A lot of people are terrible at looking at a situation objectively, and always externalize problems. If you have the ability to see your situation with a wide-angle lens and swallow pride, you can learn a lot about yourself.

I, for one, had no idea how selfish I was until I got married and had kids, then got irritated at not having any time to do anything. It seems worse in America - we want everything without having to give up anything or work especially hard for it.

Spend some time trying to figure out what you want. If you are worried about your impact on her, then I guarantee you this - the thing that helps the recipient of that kind of news get over it the most is when there is a reason. Otherwise, she'll just be questioning herself, you, and the whole situation for a long time. If you give her the courtesy of trying to pin-point something that's a real deal-breaker before dumping her, it will help her "digest" the news better in the long run...and hate you less \:\)
_________________________
I'm hungry and tired. Don't poke my belly.

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#3235790 - 04/30/13 05:50 PM Re: Odd relationshhip question.. [Re: Crosshairy]
mike243
16 Point


Registered: 09/06/06
Posts: 11250
Loc: east tn

Offline
The first thing to do is set down out in the woods & try to figure out what love is,not your love mom & dad & brother/sister,but the other kind & sex has nothing to do with it.The first thing you will decide is if she is a good person ,my wife is the best lady I know,it started there then I got to know her ,she is my best freind.If she cant be your best freind you may want to keep looking for the 1,good luck & a lot of folks never find theirs,we have been married over 28 years
_________________________
prayers sent for our friends in need every day

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#3235791 - 04/30/13 05:55 PM Re: Odd relationshhip question.. [Re: preds1]
strutandrut
Non-Typical


Registered: 07/03/06
Posts: 28931
Loc: signal mountain

Offline
Fart at dinner, many times, in public.
_________________________
Any day above ground is a good day.

Why do I carry a gun? Because cops weigh too much to carry and are difficult to conceal.

ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒΕ

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