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#3174585 - 02/24/13 12:37 PM What TV Needs...
Mike Belt
TnDeer Old Timer
16 Point


Registered: 03/26/99
Posts: 18623
Loc: Lakeland, Tn.

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A friend and I were talking the other day about comical TV shows and Hollywood Squares came up. I also just got an email from someone with some of the one liner answers they used to get. Hilarious! I can remember cracking up watching the show. What happened to the game shows? Now everything's scripted or teleprompted and most humor is in just how stupid can someone appear to be. I doubt that there are enough truely naturally funny comedians to renew that old program but it'd be nice.

A few of the one liners...

Q. Paul, what is a good reason for pounding meat?
A. Paul Lyde: Loneliness

Q. Do female frogs croak?
A. Paul Lynde If you hold their little heads under water long enough.

Q. If you're going to make a parachute jump, at least how high should you be?
A. Charley Weaver: Three days of steady drinking should do it.

Q. True or false, a pea can last as long as 5000 years.
A. George Gobel: Boy, it sure seems that way sometimes.

Q. You've been having trouble going to sleep. Are you probably a man or a woman?
A. Don Knotts: That's what's been keeping me awake.

Q. Charley, you've just decided to grow strawberries. Are you going to get any during the first year?
A. Charley Weaver: Of course not, I'm too busy growing strawberries.

Q. When you pat a dog on it's head he will wag his tail. What will a goose do?
A. Paul Lynde: Make him bark?

Q. Back in the old days, when grandpa put horseradish on his head, what was he trying to do?
A. George Gobel: Get it in his mouth.
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#3174589 - 02/24/13 12:42 PM Re: What TV Needs... [Re: Mike Belt]
DaveB
10 Point


Registered: 09/03/08
Posts: 4764
Loc: Shelby County

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Thank You Mike, still laughing.

And I very much agree with you on current TV.

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#3174603 - 02/24/13 12:56 PM Re: What TV Needs... [Re: DaveB]
farmin68
16 Point


Registered: 11/08/03
Posts: 13905
Loc: In a tree clinging to my guns ...

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Loved that show!

Paul Lynde was great as Uncle Arthur on Bewitched as well.
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Shoot Low, Boys -- They're Riding Shetland Ponies

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#3174653 - 02/24/13 02:19 PM Re: What TV Needs... [Re: farmin68]
KPH
10 Point


Registered: 08/06/05
Posts: 4032
Loc: Hendersonville Tenn

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We had some good ones backe in the day who could do great one liners.
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"No I am not a good shot, but I shoot often" Teddy Roosevelt

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#3174791 - 02/24/13 05:41 PM Re: What TV Needs... [Re: KPH]
Bowdacious
Skillet
16 Point


Registered: 09/01/00
Posts: 16350
Loc: over here

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Phyllis Diller was a hoot, too. I loved that show. We did have good tv back in the day.
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Disagreeing with me doesn't make me any less right

There is a difference between being proud and being conceited

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#3174800 - 02/24/13 05:45 PM Re: What TV Needs... [Re: Bowdacious]
Pic IN the Casa
TurdFarmer2.0
16 Point


Registered: 03/18/11
Posts: 10072
Loc: TN

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Good Stuff.
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Tolerance now means OBEY!!!!


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#3174840 - 02/24/13 06:14 PM Re: What TV Needs... [Re: Pic IN the Casa]
RUGER Administrator
Bambi Killa
Non-Typical


Registered: 11/19/99
Posts: 4106600
Loc: TN

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Classic for sure.
I don't think tv personalities are talented enough these days to come up with stuff like that.
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Youth is wasted on the young.

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