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#3141062 - 01/27/13 08:50 AM The Situation in H**l
Chaneylake
Brownsville Mafia
16 Point


Registered: 12/18/07
Posts: 16792
Loc: on the wings of a snow white d...

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The Situation in Hell

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Essays

The following is supposedly an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid-term. The answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.

One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.

As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different Religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell.

With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, "it will be a cold day in Hell before I go out with you", and take into account the fact that I went out with her last night, then number 2 must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over.

The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct . . . leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God."

THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A."

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Author: Unknown / Contributor: John Masher
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"Don't piss down my back and tell me its rain", Fletcher, Outlaw Josey Wales

Living somewhere between this world and the other, Legends of the Fall

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#3141070 - 01/27/13 08:58 AM Re: The Situation in H**l [Re: Chaneylake]
Football Hunter
Non-Typical


Registered: 10/22/07
Posts: 25536
Loc: Wilson Co/Perry Co

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Thats good
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The best day to plant a tree,IS TODAY!

You wont know,if you dont go!


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#3141080 - 01/27/13 09:06 AM Re: The Situation in H**l [Re: Football Hunter]
archer19
10 Point


Registered: 10/14/08
Posts: 2672
Loc: Erwin, TN

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\:\/ ;\)
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Everybody has an Opinion. Just understand that mine is the only one that MATTERS!!!!!


SEC hater!

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#3141086 - 01/27/13 09:16 AM Re: The Situation in H**l [Re: archer19]
1 good shot
10 Point


Registered: 09/05/09
Posts: 2580
Loc: memphis

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thats one way of looking at it
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#3141088 - 01/27/13 09:17 AM Re: The Situation in H**l [Re: archer19]
ROUGH COUNTRY HUNTER
16 Point


Registered: 11/12/10
Posts: 12924
Loc: FRANKLIN COUNTY

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lol
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#3141095 - 01/27/13 09:21 AM Re: The Situation in H**l [Re: ROUGH COUNTRY HUNTER]
lpo1981
6 Point


Registered: 01/20/12
Posts: 674
Loc: Dickson, TN

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That's awesome!
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#3141110 - 01/27/13 09:32 AM Re: The Situation in H**l [Re: lpo1981]
Deer Assassin
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Registered: 08/01/03
Posts: 88400
Loc: Kingston Springs

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\:D
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Drag Racing

Spending money I dont have

on things I dont need

to impress people I dont know

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#3141116 - 01/27/13 09:37 AM Re: The Situation in H**l [Re: Deer Assassin]
Bone Collector
14 Point


Registered: 09/09/09
Posts: 9646
Loc: Murfreesboro, TN

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\:D
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Semper Fidelis!

“There are hunters and there are victims. By your discipline, cunning, obedience and alertness, you will decide if you are a hunter or a victim.”
General James Mattis

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#3141126 - 01/27/13 09:43 AM Re: The Situation in H**l [Re: Bone Collector]
J.W.308
8 Point


Registered: 08/11/02
Posts: 1760
Loc: Beaver ,Tn USA

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😄
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#3141137 - 01/27/13 09:55 AM Re: The Situation in H**l [Re: lpo1981]
Kimber45 Moderator
Peace Maker
16 Point


Registered: 07/10/08
Posts: 18625
Loc: Close to Jackson, TN

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LOL
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Patriotism is not short, frenzied outbursts of emotion, but the tranquil and steady dedication of a lifetime.

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