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#3141062 - 01/27/13 08:50 AM The Situation in H**l
Chaneylake
Brownsville Mafia
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Registered: 12/18/07
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Loc: on the wings of a snow white d...

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The Situation in Hell

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Essays

The following is supposedly an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid-term. The answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.

One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.

As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different Religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell.

With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, "it will be a cold day in Hell before I go out with you", and take into account the fact that I went out with her last night, then number 2 must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over.

The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct . . . leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God."

THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A."

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Author: Unknown / Contributor: John Masher
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"Don't piss down my back and tell me its rain", Fletcher, Outlaw Josey Wales

Living somewhere between this world and the other, Legends of the Fall

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#3141070 - 01/27/13 08:58 AM Re: The Situation in H**l [Re: Chaneylake]
Football Hunter
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Registered: 10/22/07
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Thats good
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#3141080 - 01/27/13 09:06 AM Re: The Situation in H**l [Re: Football Hunter]
archer19
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Registered: 10/14/08
Posts: 2672
Loc: Erwin, TN

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\:\/ ;\)
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SEC hater!

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#3141086 - 01/27/13 09:16 AM Re: The Situation in H**l [Re: archer19]
1 good shot
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Loc: memphis

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thats one way of looking at it
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#3141088 - 01/27/13 09:17 AM Re: The Situation in H**l [Re: archer19]
ROUGH COUNTRY HUNTER
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lol
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#3141095 - 01/27/13 09:21 AM Re: The Situation in H**l [Re: ROUGH COUNTRY HUNTER]
lpo1981
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Registered: 01/20/12
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Loc: Dickson, TN

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That's awesome!
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#3141110 - 01/27/13 09:32 AM Re: The Situation in H**l [Re: lpo1981]
Deer Assassin
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Registered: 08/01/03
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\:D
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Drag Racing

Spending money I dont have

on things I dont need

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#3141116 - 01/27/13 09:37 AM Re: The Situation in H**l [Re: Deer Assassin]
Bone Collector
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Registered: 09/09/09
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\:D
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#3141126 - 01/27/13 09:43 AM Re: The Situation in H**l [Re: Bone Collector]
J.W.308
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Registered: 08/11/02
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😄
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#3141137 - 01/27/13 09:55 AM Re: The Situation in H**l [Re: lpo1981]
Kimber45 Moderator
Peace Maker
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LOL
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#3141138 - 01/27/13 09:56 AM Re: The Situation in H**l [Re: J.W.308]
A.Hall
Formerly "Spoon"
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Registered: 10/05/04
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Lol
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#3141160 - 01/27/13 10:19 AM Re: The Situation in H**l [Re: Kimber45]
Inkstainz
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Registered: 08/23/12
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Loc: Memphis, Tennessee

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Sarcasm at its finest.
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#3141224 - 01/27/13 11:46 AM Re: The Situation in H**l [Re: Kimber45]
Mudbone
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Registered: 10/24/11
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Deep thoughts by, some student.

Great read!
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#3141282 - 01/27/13 01:08 PM Re: The Situation in H**l [Re: Kimber45]
DirtyBear0311
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Registered: 09/01/12
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Loc: Milan, TN

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haha
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Just because it's bad-a** don't mean it's a good idea.


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#3141286 - 01/27/13 01:13 PM Re: The Situation in H**l [Re: DirtyBear0311]
Doe-lusional
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I love sarcasm!!
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If ya ain't first..... Your last!!!

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#3141287 - 01/27/13 01:13 PM Re: The Situation in H**l [Re: DirtyBear0311]
rem270
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Registered: 11/15/02
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Now thats a good read
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#3141310 - 01/27/13 01:47 PM Re: The Situation in H**l [Re: rem270]
KPH
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Registered: 08/06/05
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Loc: Hendersonville Tenn

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Read that one a long time ago but still good.
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