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#3135754 - 01/23/13 09:17 AM Can't believe what we were told!
Crow Terminator
TnDeer Old Timer
14 Point


Registered: 10/23/99
Posts: 8863
Loc: McMinn County

Offline
Wow...sorry guys and gals but I am just at a loss. Gonna vent a little.

So here's the scoop. My mother inlaw and father inlaw are retired. My brother inlaw and sister inlaw live on the property right beside one another...they don't own the land, just live there. BIL and SIL have two young uns...oldest one just turned 5 and the youngest is 2. Both of them work good paying jobs; well in my book they do...both rake in about $60k-70k a year, a piece. They don't have a baby sitter that they pay...MIL keeps the kids while they work, and they basically use her as a freebie baby sitter; they provide the diapers and such for the youngest one and a little for food.

MIL had hip replacement surgery this week on Monday. She is going to be out of commission for a while until she is back on her feet. This is where this all begins. So now, my BIL and SIL don't have a sitter and on top of that, there is a big fight over what to do about the MIL situation. As in who is going to care for her while she is at home. My wife and I don't have kids; we don't have high paying jobs at all. Both of us COMBINED, don't even make $50k a year. It's all we can do sometimes, to get us through to the next pay check. We haven't had a vacation in 3+ yrs because of not having enough $$ to go...where as they go on cruises, go to places like Myrtle Beach, etc about twice a year. I use freebie WiFi internet at places for the internet; and have been trying our best to get out of debt so we can breathe a bit. We went in the hole big early on after getting married, and got in over our heads via taking out loans to make ends meet. We did everything on our own; didn't want to leech off anybody and are just now starting to get our noses above the water.

But last night this all came to a big heated discussion about the care of the MIL and such. We were told by the BIL and SIL that we (wife and I) needed to be the ones to do all of it, because "you guys don't have kids and we do". We were told that we need to tell our places of work to "shove it" and quit so that we can take care of MIL til she's better, and also baby sit their kids for them while THEY work because they don't have anybody to do it. I could not believe what I was hearing. They are also fit to be tied that we are going on a mini vacation in February to Florida; just for 3 days. We've been saving extra dollars just to be able to do it for a while now and we're going whether they like it or not. I just couldn't believe the audacity of folks. It's like they are saying they are better than us because they have higher paying jobs and kids, and that we are the expendable ones, and that our purpose here on earth is to make life easier for them. What's bad is...this is just getting started. It is the most drama oriented family I have ever came in contact with. Sorry had to vent a little.

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#3135757 - 01/23/13 09:25 AM Re: Can't believe what we were told! [Re: Crow Terminator]
Coach
16 Point


Registered: 12/02/07
Posts: 11235
Loc: Pall Mall, TN and Dexter, MI

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Had a family inlaws sorta like that once...I stopped going to their functions, stopped renting a cottage for a week near their summer home, stopped getting involved...They would always ask my wife (at the time) "where's Coach?!"...she would make excuses like I had to work or my baseball team is playing here or there...finally, after a long marriage we got divorced and the inlaws asked me why I stopped visiting and such...so, I told 'em...Maybe you should just tell 'em and back off after that
_________________________
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Eventus stultorum magister

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#3135761 - 01/23/13 09:27 AM Re: Can't believe what we were told! [Re: Crow Terminator]
TNDeerGuy
12 Point


Registered: 11/28/06
Posts: 5997
Loc: Old Hickory/Mt.Juliet, TN

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Wow....just wow! I do believe I would be telling some pompous, rear-ended people just what dirt road to go pound! I would certainly help with the MIL situation, however they would be told with a quickness what to do with their kids—either one of them take responsibility and stay home, or find some other type of childcare like every other American, that doesn't feel entitled, does every day! I feel for ya brother and hope it turns out for everyone involved.
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#3135763 - 01/23/13 09:32 AM Re: Can't believe what we were told! [Re: Crow Terminator]
Nyper
16 Point


Registered: 11/29/00
Posts: 11085
Loc: Lebanon

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That's sorry. I would tell them where they can stick it. They're no more important than you and your wife.

I hope ya'll enjoy the trip to Florida! That'll be a nice change of weather in Febuary!

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#3135767 - 01/23/13 09:37 AM Re: Can't believe what we were told! [Re: Nyper]
Crow Terminator
TnDeer Old Timer
14 Point


Registered: 10/23/99
Posts: 8863
Loc: McMinn County

Offline
We're certainly going to help with MIL when she gets home; that's a given. But they aren't wanting us to help with it...they are wanting us to drop everything, and do it all, while using their kids as a reason why they can't or wont help. I am just in awe.

My side of the family are the easiest going people out there. Growing up, I always wondered why my dads family never had get together stuff or had big social gatherings. The older I get, the more I understand.

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#3135770 - 01/23/13 09:39 AM Re: Can't believe what we were told! [Re: Crow Terminator]
AndyW
10 Point


Registered: 10/21/10
Posts: 4286
Loc: Allardt, TN

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As I have to remind members of my family on occasion, I'll share this nugget with you Crow T.

"You can't pick your family. If you could; nobody would be related to nobody."

I feel your pain.
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This fall, FIRE THEM ALL. Re-elect NO ONE!!!!!

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#3135777 - 01/23/13 09:48 AM Re: Can't believe what we were told! [Re: AndyW]
Unicam Administrator
Grumpaw
16 Point


Registered: 12/13/00
Posts: 19238
Loc: Dallas, GA. & Cookeville, TN

Offline
1. Tell them to get a babysitter full time and take the load of the MIL.

2. Tell them to grow up and come back and see you after they do.

3. Enjoy your Mini Vaca!!!!

Life is to short for stupidity, even if they are family members.....
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John 15:13

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#3135779 - 01/23/13 09:50 AM Re: Can't believe what we were told! [Re: AndyW]
Kingston
8 Point


Registered: 04/24/12
Posts: 1935
Loc: Blue Ridge Mtns

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Wow
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#3135782 - 01/23/13 09:52 AM Re: Can't believe what we were told! [Re: AndyW]
Wildcat
Non-Typical


Registered: 06/10/00
Posts: 41913
Loc: Western Ky.

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Crow, they have it backwards.

It's THEIR job, not yours.

First off it's THEIR OWN MOTHER, you are just the in law. Yes it's you wife's mother and she and you should "help out" but just YOUR SHARE.

I CHOOSE to be the one to stay with Mom, I don't mind and my brother helps out anytime I need him to do anything. Sometimes he's working out of town at the times I would like to go somewhere but it works out later.

Still they have NO right at all to say you need to be the ones to do everything. If they can't "afford" to pay to help their mother and take care of their kids at the same time then have your gather in law sell the place, land and everything and move, Use the money to live off and PAY SOMEONE TO TAKE CARE OF THE MOTHER. If they lose their homes, that's THEIR FAULT.
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Obama, “the very danger the Constitution was designed to avoid." Liberal law professor Jonathan Turley.




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#3135787 - 01/23/13 09:57 AM Re: Can't believe what we were told! [Re: Unicam]
Grizzly Johnson
Team Grizzly
16 Point


Registered: 10/07/08
Posts: 15075
Loc: Tennessee

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 Originally Posted By: Unicam
1. Tell them to get a babysitter full time and take the load of the MIL.

2. Tell them to grow up and come back and see you after they do.

3. Enjoy your Mini Vaca!!!!

Life is to short for stupidity, even if they are family members.....



^^ this....

I'd tell them to make the paid full time babysitter permanent as well.... if they can't support/provide childcare for their own kids, then they shouldn't have had kids to begin with....

MIL will be out of action for a while and at this point may not be able to keep looking after small children.
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Your compassion is a weakness your enemies will not share.

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