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#3135754 - 01/23/13 09:17 AM Can't believe what we were told!
Crow Terminator
TnDeer Old Timer
14 Point


Registered: 10/23/99
Posts: 8928
Loc: McMinn County

Offline
Wow...sorry guys and gals but I am just at a loss. Gonna vent a little.

So here's the scoop. My mother inlaw and father inlaw are retired. My brother inlaw and sister inlaw live on the property right beside one another...they don't own the land, just live there. BIL and SIL have two young uns...oldest one just turned 5 and the youngest is 2. Both of them work good paying jobs; well in my book they do...both rake in about $60k-70k a year, a piece. They don't have a baby sitter that they pay...MIL keeps the kids while they work, and they basically use her as a freebie baby sitter; they provide the diapers and such for the youngest one and a little for food.

MIL had hip replacement surgery this week on Monday. She is going to be out of commission for a while until she is back on her feet. This is where this all begins. So now, my BIL and SIL don't have a sitter and on top of that, there is a big fight over what to do about the MIL situation. As in who is going to care for her while she is at home. My wife and I don't have kids; we don't have high paying jobs at all. Both of us COMBINED, don't even make $50k a year. It's all we can do sometimes, to get us through to the next pay check. We haven't had a vacation in 3+ yrs because of not having enough $$ to go...where as they go on cruises, go to places like Myrtle Beach, etc about twice a year. I use freebie WiFi internet at places for the internet; and have been trying our best to get out of debt so we can breathe a bit. We went in the hole big early on after getting married, and got in over our heads via taking out loans to make ends meet. We did everything on our own; didn't want to leech off anybody and are just now starting to get our noses above the water.

But last night this all came to a big heated discussion about the care of the MIL and such. We were told by the BIL and SIL that we (wife and I) needed to be the ones to do all of it, because "you guys don't have kids and we do". We were told that we need to tell our places of work to "shove it" and quit so that we can take care of MIL til she's better, and also baby sit their kids for them while THEY work because they don't have anybody to do it. I could not believe what I was hearing. They are also fit to be tied that we are going on a mini vacation in February to Florida; just for 3 days. We've been saving extra dollars just to be able to do it for a while now and we're going whether they like it or not. I just couldn't believe the audacity of folks. It's like they are saying they are better than us because they have higher paying jobs and kids, and that we are the expendable ones, and that our purpose here on earth is to make life easier for them. What's bad is...this is just getting started. It is the most drama oriented family I have ever came in contact with. Sorry had to vent a little.

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#3135757 - 01/23/13 09:25 AM Re: Can't believe what we were told! [Re: Crow Terminator]
Coach
16 Point


Registered: 12/02/07
Posts: 11352
Loc: Pall Mall, TN and Dexter, MI

Offline
Had a family inlaws sorta like that once...I stopped going to their functions, stopped renting a cottage for a week near their summer home, stopped getting involved...They would always ask my wife (at the time) "where's Coach?!"...she would make excuses like I had to work or my baseball team is playing here or there...finally, after a long marriage we got divorced and the inlaws asked me why I stopped visiting and such...so, I told 'em...Maybe you should just tell 'em and back off after that
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#3135761 - 01/23/13 09:27 AM Re: Can't believe what we were told! [Re: Crow Terminator]
TNDeerGuy
12 Point


Registered: 11/28/06
Posts: 6051
Loc: Old Hickory/Mt.Juliet, TN

Offline
Wow....just wow! I do believe I would be telling some pompous, rear-ended people just what dirt road to go pound! I would certainly help with the MIL situation, however they would be told with a quickness what to do with their kids—either one of them take responsibility and stay home, or find some other type of childcare like every other American, that doesn't feel entitled, does every day! I feel for ya brother and hope it turns out for everyone involved.
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#3135763 - 01/23/13 09:32 AM Re: Can't believe what we were told! [Re: Crow Terminator]
Nyper
16 Point


Registered: 11/29/00
Posts: 11134
Loc: Lebanon

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That's sorry. I would tell them where they can stick it. They're no more important than you and your wife.

I hope ya'll enjoy the trip to Florida! That'll be a nice change of weather in Febuary!

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#3135767 - 01/23/13 09:37 AM Re: Can't believe what we were told! [Re: Nyper]
Crow Terminator
TnDeer Old Timer
14 Point


Registered: 10/23/99
Posts: 8928
Loc: McMinn County

Offline
We're certainly going to help with MIL when she gets home; that's a given. But they aren't wanting us to help with it...they are wanting us to drop everything, and do it all, while using their kids as a reason why they can't or wont help. I am just in awe.

My side of the family are the easiest going people out there. Growing up, I always wondered why my dads family never had get together stuff or had big social gatherings. The older I get, the more I understand.

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#3135770 - 01/23/13 09:39 AM Re: Can't believe what we were told! [Re: Crow Terminator]
AndyW
10 Point


Registered: 10/21/10
Posts: 4353
Loc: Allardt, TN

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As I have to remind members of my family on occasion, I'll share this nugget with you Crow T.

"You can't pick your family. If you could; nobody would be related to nobody."

I feel your pain.
_________________________
This fall, FIRE THEM ALL. Re-elect NO ONE!!!!!

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#3135777 - 01/23/13 09:48 AM Re: Can't believe what we were told! [Re: AndyW]
Unicam Administrator
Grumpaw
16 Point


Registered: 12/13/00
Posts: 19341
Loc: Dallas, GA. & Cookeville, TN

Offline
1. Tell them to get a babysitter full time and take the load of the MIL.

2. Tell them to grow up and come back and see you after they do.

3. Enjoy your Mini Vaca!!!!

Life is to short for stupidity, even if they are family members.....
_________________________
"Gun Free Zones are for VICTIMS!"

John 15:13

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#3135779 - 01/23/13 09:50 AM Re: Can't believe what we were told! [Re: AndyW]
Kingston
8 Point


Registered: 04/24/12
Posts: 2031
Loc: Blue Ridge Mtns

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Wow
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#3135782 - 01/23/13 09:52 AM Re: Can't believe what we were told! [Re: AndyW]
Wildcat
Non-Typical


Registered: 06/10/00
Posts: 42105
Loc: Western Ky.

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Crow, they have it backwards.

It's THEIR job, not yours.

First off it's THEIR OWN MOTHER, you are just the in law. Yes it's you wife's mother and she and you should "help out" but just YOUR SHARE.

I CHOOSE to be the one to stay with Mom, I don't mind and my brother helps out anytime I need him to do anything. Sometimes he's working out of town at the times I would like to go somewhere but it works out later.

Still they have NO right at all to say you need to be the ones to do everything. If they can't "afford" to pay to help their mother and take care of their kids at the same time then have your gather in law sell the place, land and everything and move, Use the money to live off and PAY SOMEONE TO TAKE CARE OF THE MOTHER. If they lose their homes, that's THEIR FAULT.
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Obama, “the very danger the Constitution was designed to avoid." Liberal law professor Jonathan Turley.




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#3135787 - 01/23/13 09:57 AM Re: Can't believe what we were told! [Re: Unicam]
Grizzly Johnson
Team Grizzly
16 Point


Registered: 10/07/08
Posts: 15157
Loc: Tennessee

Offline
 Originally Posted By: Unicam
1. Tell them to get a babysitter full time and take the load of the MIL.

2. Tell them to grow up and come back and see you after they do.

3. Enjoy your Mini Vaca!!!!

Life is to short for stupidity, even if they are family members.....



^^ this....

I'd tell them to make the paid full time babysitter permanent as well.... if they can't support/provide childcare for their own kids, then they shouldn't have had kids to begin with....

MIL will be out of action for a while and at this point may not be able to keep looking after small children.
_________________________
But if thou do that which is evil, be afraid; for he beareth not the sword in vain: for he is the minister of God, a revenger to execute wrath upon him that doeth evil.

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#3135844 - 01/23/13 10:33 AM Re: Can't believe what we were told! [Re: Crow Terminator]
TAFKAP
14 Point


Registered: 11/06/09
Posts: 9521
Loc: Memphis

Offline
 Originally Posted By: Crow Terminator
Wow...sorry guys and gals but I am just at a loss. Gonna vent a little.

So here's the scoop. My mother inlaw and father inlaw are retired. My brother inlaw and sister inlaw live on the property right beside one another...they don't own the land, just live there. BIL and SIL have two young uns...oldest one just turned 5 and the youngest is 2. Both of them work good paying jobs; well in my book they do...both rake in about $60k-70k a year, a piece. They don't have a baby sitter that they pay...MIL keeps the kids while they work, and they basically use her as a freebie baby sitter; they provide the diapers and such for the youngest one and a little for food.

MIL had hip replacement surgery this week on Monday. She is going to be out of commission for a while until she is back on her feet. This is where this all begins. So now, my BIL and SIL don't have a sitter and on top of that, there is a big fight over what to do about the MIL situation. As in who is going to care for her while she is at home. My wife and I don't have kids; we don't have high paying jobs at all. Both of us COMBINED, don't even make $50k a year. It's all we can do sometimes, to get us through to the next pay check. We haven't had a vacation in 3+ yrs because of not having enough $$ to go...where as they go on cruises, go to places like Myrtle Beach, etc about twice a year. I use freebie WiFi internet at places for the internet; and have been trying our best to get out of debt so we can breathe a bit. We went in the hole big early on after getting married, and got in over our heads via taking out loans to make ends meet. We did everything on our own; didn't want to leech off anybody and are just now starting to get our noses above the water.

But last night this all came to a big heated discussion about the care of the MIL and such. We were told by the BIL and SIL that we (wife and I) needed to be the ones to do all of it, because "you guys don't have kids and we do". We were told that we need to tell our places of work to "shove it" and quit so that we can take care of MIL til she's better, and also baby sit their kids for them while THEY work because they don't have anybody to do it. I could not believe what I was hearing. They are also fit to be tied that we are going on a mini vacation in February to Florida; just for 3 days. We've been saving extra dollars just to be able to do it for a while now and we're going whether they like it or not. I just couldn't believe the audacity of folks. It's like they are saying they are better than us because they have higher paying jobs and kids, and that we are the expendable ones, and that our purpose here on earth is to make life easier for them. What's bad is...this is just getting started. It is the most drama oriented family I have ever came in contact with. Sorry had to vent a little.


In just about anyone's eyes, they have good paying jobs. However, none of that really should come into direct "first consideration" play. MIL is mother to both your spouses, and an equitable arrangement should be made. They should sacrifice equally as you....I have no advice as to the proper way to achieve this, but it chaps my arse that people find themselves more entitled than the other when it comes to caring for older family members. I wish you the best in this difficult situation.

But, by the way you tell it, it seems to me that they aren't footing much of the responsibility.
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Everything important in life was learned from Mary Jo Kopechne.

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#3135855 - 01/23/13 10:40 AM Re: Can't believe what we were told! [Re: TAFKAP]
Rebel
TnDeer Old Timer
12 Point


Registered: 03/16/99
Posts: 5290
Loc: East Tennessee USA

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I would suggest to them that she's their mother not yours and it's not mother-in-law's responsibility to watch their kids. Furthermore, they should consider taking fewer vacations and spend some of that vacation money on taking care of mom and baby sitting.
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Tolerance is a virtue of those who believe in nothing.

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#3135858 - 01/23/13 10:43 AM Re: Can't believe what we were told! [Re: Grizzly Johnson]
Hangnail
12 Point


Registered: 11/30/00
Posts: 7230
Loc: Murfreesboro, TN

Offline
Man. I don't know where to start. Having been married to a woman for 25 years that couldn't manage to keep her family out of our business, take this opportunity to get anything off of your chest that you'd like them to know. As bad as that sounds, it might head off any blowups later. If something stupid is brought up in the future, all you have to do is refer them to the day you cleared your mind.

I'd be sure to tell them that you aren't responsible for their kids and your inlaws aren't either, they should have been paying rent to Mom and Pop from the start and enjoy the horrors of interviewing sitters like most of America has to do periodically.

I know that you know all of this, but it makes me feel better just typing it. Good luck

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#3135870 - 01/23/13 10:49 AM Re: Can't believe what we were told! [Re: Hangnail]
MUP
Non-Typical


Registered: 08/01/07
Posts: 44480
Loc: Just North of Chatt-town

Offline
Quick, have some kids! That'll solve the issue and put you both on equal footing! ;\) Just kiddin CT. That's a tough pill to swallow, but, on the other hand, I wouldn't dare bow down to that kind of mentality. I do believe that they are a little more responsible for their own mother than the in-laws should be for sure, but fair and equitable management of her care would be the best for her, and for all involved.
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MUP

Amateurs: Built the Ark

Professionals: Built the Titanic

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#3135889 - 01/23/13 11:04 AM Re: Can't believe what we were told! [Re: MUP]
jameseboy
8 Point


Registered: 10/02/03
Posts: 1750
Loc: Germantown, TN

Offline
Just say no...no explanations no guilt no discussion...just no.
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#3135896 - 01/23/13 11:10 AM Re: Can't believe what we were told! [Re: MUP]
Crow Terminator
TnDeer Old Timer
14 Point


Registered: 10/23/99
Posts: 8928
Loc: McMinn County

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I think we (Tndeer folk) would all get along well around a campfire. Feels good to hear from y'all on this subject. MIL saw it coming prior to surgery and already arranged to have the nursing home/rehabilitation center take care of her for the initial few weeks after she gets out of the hospital. We kinda got into it then over whether she needs to go there or come home. My wife and I felt like the rehabilitation place could better serve her in those weeks ahead due to them being able to provide 24/7 care and plus, she would be more apt to doing her excercises there, vs us trying to get her to do them at home. But the BIL and SIL don't like that. It's not like were stuffing her in a home to die....she's still in very good health. Life is one big drama filled thing with them. I swear, when things finally settle down, they conjure up stuff just to get something else going.
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#3135901 - 01/23/13 11:16 AM Re: Can't believe what we were told! [Re: Crow Terminator]
Hangnail
12 Point


Registered: 11/30/00
Posts: 7230
Loc: Murfreesboro, TN

Offline
Let me guess and say that your wife is the younger of the two siblings?
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#3135906 - 01/23/13 11:20 AM Re: Can't believe what we were told! [Re: Hangnail]
TAFKAP
14 Point


Registered: 11/06/09
Posts: 9521
Loc: Memphis

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Unless any of you are qualified rehabilitation specialists and RN's, the rehab facility will be her best bet....so long as it's not a dumpy place. Orthopaedic surgery recovery is very hard, especially for a major joint like a hip. As lazy as they seem to be, it won't be 2 days before they're done with the care and ready for someone else to take over. If they're the ones insisting on a different treatment option, it should be their responsibility to step up.

But since Mom is quite capable of making her own decisions, I would highly encourage her to take the rehab route. She's probably just as anxious for a break from them as you are.
_________________________
Everything important in life was learned from Mary Jo Kopechne.

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#3135919 - 01/23/13 11:26 AM Re: Can't believe what we were told! [Re: Hangnail]
farmin68
16 Point


Registered: 11/08/03
Posts: 13446
Loc: In a tree clinging to my guns ...

Offline
This is a defining moment for your relationship (and apparently pecking order) with your wife's family AND, more importantly, with your marriage.

Times like this separate mature, hard-working, responsible, morally upright adults from the Jerry Springer fan club.

Stand your ground and tell them how sorry, selfish, and self-centered they are in a civil manner. You can do it without burning bridges. However, if they don't like it, they can go pound sand or pee up a rope.

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Team Pea Picker

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#3135936 - 01/23/13 11:47 AM Re: Can't believe what we were told! [Re: farmin68]
Crow Terminator
TnDeer Old Timer
14 Point


Registered: 10/23/99
Posts: 8928
Loc: McMinn County

Offline
Yep, wife is the younger of the two. MIL worked and retired from the rehabilitation place she is wanting to go to. She was a receptionist there for 20+ yrs. She's still well in her mind and health, but just had a bad hip...her hip and bad diabetes led to early retirement and disability. At any rate, the only one of with any kind of background in health care is my SIL who currently works in hospice care...my wife worked at an animal clinic for a few yrs. My only background in it is warming chicken noodle soup, and going to pick up meds from the pharmacy. All I know is...it's gonna be a fun time the next few months or so.
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#3135949 - 01/23/13 11:56 AM Re: Can't believe what we were told! [Re: Crow Terminator]
Hangnail
12 Point


Registered: 11/30/00
Posts: 7230
Loc: Murfreesboro, TN

Offline
I'd think your MIL has earned her right to do what she thinks is best for her. Should be a short discussion, hopefully.
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#3135956 - 01/23/13 12:12 PM Re: Can't believe what we were told! [Re: Crow Terminator]
Stalkhunter
10 Point


Registered: 07/17/11
Posts: 3931
Loc: Knoxville TN

Offline
Time for hard love, tell them to stick it were the sun dont shine. if your mom has a good ortho, hips are not as rough as they use to be. my brother is 53 just had one aways back. she needs to do the theropy and do what they say. if she is in good health she should do fine..

Edited by Stalkhunter (01/23/13 12:13 PM)
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Μολων λαβε
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#3135961 - 01/23/13 12:18 PM Re: Can't believe what we were told! [Re: Unicam]
rabbit hunter
14 Point


Registered: 03/04/10
Posts: 9111
Loc: Beech Bluff, TN

Offline
 Originally Posted By: Unicam
1. Tell them to get a babysitter full time and take the load of the MIL.

2. Tell them to grow up and come back and see you after they do.

3. Enjoy your Mini Vaca!!!!

Life is to short for stupidity, even if they are family members.....



What he said.....
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GO VOLS
"THE GRILL MASTER"

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#3135994 - 01/23/13 12:48 PM Re: Can't believe what we were told! [Re: rabbit hunter]
BlackBelt
10 Point


Registered: 08/09/08
Posts: 3158
Loc: SouthWest TN

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You know, they are still family and no need to cause a life-long rift over a temporary situation.
Your in-laws want childcare. Just laugh at that like they said something hysterical and tell them they will have to figure that one out on their own. I wouldnt say anything to cause problems down the road. You may actually need something from them one day, or their kids might need you later in their lives.
Just blow off what you dont want to do, and happily do the rest.

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#3136013 - 01/23/13 01:03 PM Re: Can't believe what we were told! [Re: BlackBelt]
Kimber45 Moderator
Peace Maker
16 Point


Registered: 07/10/08
Posts: 17845
Loc: Close to Jackson, TN

Offline
Man what a mess... Prayers on the way!

I'd have to laugh at the BIL/SIL like BB said as if they were joking, as they are either nearly insane......... or joking.

Taking care of the MIL should be a shared responsibility within the skill levels of those who can help.

I will say this.... skill levels can be important, or not. Wife and I bought Matthew home from Vandy last February and did ABX infusions via a port that had to be flushed and handled VERY carefully - with our skill level being Zilch!! Wife was scared to do it so for 3-weeks I did every infusion THEN I ran a fever, had a cold or something, and she had to learn. Honeslty home care stuff is not that bad if you have a patient nurse to walk you through what to do..

Hang in there and work it out. Hopefully the BIL/SIL will stop and realize they are only thinking about themselves and grow up a little.
_________________________
Patriotism is not short, frenzied outbursts of emotion, but the tranquil and steady dedication of a lifetime.

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#3136014 - 01/23/13 01:04 PM Re: Can't believe what we were told! [Re: BlackBelt]
Hangnail
12 Point


Registered: 11/30/00
Posts: 7230
Loc: Murfreesboro, TN

Offline
By reading the original post, there is already a lifelong rift. To have the means to do what your responsiblities require of you, yet choose to mooch and dictate to others is too much.
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#3136029 - 01/23/13 01:16 PM Re: Can't believe what we were told! [Re: Hangnail]
Bowdacious
Skillet
16 Point


Registered: 09/01/00
Posts: 16105
Loc: over here

Offline
Sounds like one if them needs to quit and take care of their kids or lay daycare like everyone else. Ask them if they will pay you or the wife 30k per year to do it. If not, the responsibility is to be shared. They owe her for keeping the kids anyway.
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#3136071 - 01/23/13 01:39 PM Re: Can't believe what we were told! [Re: Kimber45]
leader
16 Point


Registered: 08/10/06
Posts: 10921
Loc: Knox

Offline
You can always go a different route.
Your MIL has made a decision to go to a rehab clinic,end of discussion.
On the other side if you like the kids just plainly say, "we would love to be able to help with the kids but we have to put our household and marriage first, we will be happy to look after your kids on occasion through this if you both need a break but not if it overlaps our work schedule"
Other advice is this let your wife do most of the talking because it is her mother and siblings, not directly your business
UNTIL it effects you OR until they keep pushing. Then choose your words calmly and wisely,these people are going to be in your life a LOOOOOOOOONG time....
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THE ONLY DUMB QUESTIONS ARE THOSE NEVER ASKED!

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#3136076 - 01/23/13 01:41 PM Re: Can't believe what we were told! [Re: Bowdacious]
leader
16 Point


Registered: 08/10/06
Posts: 10921
Loc: Knox

Offline
 Originally Posted By: Bowdacious
Sounds like one if them needs to quit and take care of their kids or lay daycare like everyone else. Ask them if they will pay you or the wife 30k per year to do it. If not, the responsibility is to be shared. They owe her for keeping the kids anyway.


^^^^

I was actually thinking of them paying for your wife to keep the kids also
_________________________
THE ONLY DUMB QUESTIONS ARE THOSE NEVER ASKED!

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#3136087 - 01/23/13 01:46 PM Re: Can't believe what we were told! [Re: Bowdacious]
Deer Assassin
Non-Typical


Registered: 08/01/03
Posts: 86752
Loc: Kingston Springs

Offline
crow

i have never met you but always had a lot of respect for you as PMC has always spoke highly of you

how you didnt keep from getting I rate with them people is beyond me

i have no issue with yall helping MIL but it is the responsibility of all 3 of her children

and for you to quit job to baby sit their kids man you dont want to know what im thinking heck it pisses me off they need to take care of their own kids
i hate people that take advantage of others with thier kids my sis is running mom n dad in the ground baby sitting my nephew while they are having another

i had one kid for a reason it is all i want and now have another by marriage

they need to take car of their on kids


btw hope yall have a great vacation
_________________________
Drag Racing

Spending money I dont have

on things I dont need

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#3136101 - 01/23/13 01:51 PM Re: Can't believe what we were told! [Re: Bowdacious]
pressfit
10 Point


Registered: 12/28/09
Posts: 3118
Loc: Giles Co. Tn

Offline
I dont know if I wouldnt take their advise.. quit your jobs.. and move away from them!!
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#3136127 - 01/23/13 02:06 PM Re: Can't believe what we were told! [Re: pressfit]
waynesworld
8 Point


Registered: 05/13/12
Posts: 1471
Loc: Mboro, Tennessee

Offline
No better yet call them up and tell them you are taking there advice and quieting your job and you will be expecting them to take care of all your bills from now on. \:\)
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#3136221 - 01/23/13 03:36 PM Re: Can't believe what we were told! [Re: waynesworld]
woodchuckc
8 Point


Registered: 02/09/05
Posts: 1801
Loc: Hickman County, TN

Offline
Hip replacement rehab is not as bad as knee replacement rehab, but if your MIL wants to have a good long-term outcome from her surgery it is critical that she rehabs properly (I had one of my hips replaced 5 years ago at age 48). In the situation you describe, it sounds like staying at the rehab place would be the best option.

As for the situation with your other in-laws, it sounds like there will be some hard feelings either way. Your relationship with your wife is the most important thing - if you tell them to go pound sand and your wife doesn't feel the same way, that will not be good for your relationship long term. Ultimately you have to do what is best for you and your wife.


Edited by woodchuckc (01/23/13 03:36 PM)

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#3136353 - 01/23/13 05:34 PM Re: Can't believe what we were told! [Re: woodchuckc]
Deer Whisperer
10 Point


Registered: 04/16/05
Posts: 4435
Loc: Murfreesboro, TN

Offline
Let me tell you what is going on behind the scenes with your BIL and SIL.
They don't want your MIL to stay in assisted living because she will be spending all THEIR inheritance.
Now that the parents health is going down hill, the SIL will slip in and sweet talk the MIL into giving her power of attorney. This will be so she can manipulate every situation to their advantage.
When the parents are gone, they will already be on THEIR property. They stonewall any efforts to sell the property and devide the proceeds. This will take a court order.
All others will have to fight for their shares.
Also, they will loot the MILs house of anything they want when the time comes.
I've seen this happen with several families. Get ready.

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#3136399 - 01/23/13 06:13 PM Re: Can't believe what we were told! [Re: Deer Whisperer]
Wildcat
Non-Typical


Registered: 06/10/00
Posts: 42105
Loc: Western Ky.

Offline
 Originally Posted By: Deer Whisperer
Let me tell you what is going on behind the scenes with your BIL and SIL.
They don't want your MIL to stay in assisted living because she will be spending all THEIR inheritance.
Now that the parents health is going down hill, the SIL will slip in and sweet talk the MIL into giving her power of attorney. This will be so she can manipulate every situation to their advantage.
When the parents are gone, they will already be on THEIR property. They stonewall any efforts to sell the property and devide the proceeds. This will take a court order.
All others will have to fight for their shares.
Also, they will loot the MILs house of anything they want when the time comes.
I've seen this happen with several families. Get ready.


Crow,

He's right. I've seen it happen a dozen times. They do NOT want to lose the land they live on. The minute they have to start PAYING then they lose their two yearly vacations and more.

You did post that they kind of wanted you and you wife to "quit your jobs" and take care of the MIL. They have already in their minds cut you out of the will, not your MIL but the other in laws. You and your wife need to start thinking about this and maybe ever talk to your MIL.
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#3136511 - 01/23/13 07:23 PM Re: Can't believe what we were told! [Re: Grizzly Johnson]
Bone Collector
14 Point


Registered: 09/09/09
Posts: 8931
Loc: Murfreesboro, TN

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Seems to me they owe you MIL. Seems your MIL should be the one to say, "I watch your kids for free, if you don;t help me, I will not watch your kids anymore."

then they an go get daycare like my wife and I and pay roughly $700 a month, and see how they like that.
_________________________
Semper Fidelis!

“There are hunters and there are victims. By your discipline, cunning, obedience and alertness, you will decide if you are a hunter or a victim.”
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#3137624 - 01/24/13 02:32 PM Re: Can't believe what we were told! [Re: Crow Terminator]
JeepKuntry
16 Point


Registered: 01/20/04
Posts: 14436
Loc: Clinton, TN

Offline
I would have told them to piss up a rope on the spot. You could help out with MIL, but no way should you quit your job. If they haven't paid your MIL, they should pay somebody part time to care for her. And there cheap arses can pony up for daycare. Most of us pay that price. I don't like paying $131/week for child care, but both me and my work and neither one of us wants to be a stay at home parent.

Edited by JeepKuntry (01/24/13 02:33 PM)
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#3137653 - 01/24/13 02:49 PM Re: Can't believe what we were told! [Re: JeepKuntry]
chunkandwind
8 Point


Registered: 08/20/08
Posts: 1700
Loc: mckenzie,tn

Offline
Tell them you and your wife will quit your jobs and take care of mom and babysit their kids for 100k a year.
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#3137816 - 01/24/13 05:19 PM Re: Can't believe what we were told! [Re: chunkandwind]
reloaderman
4 Point


Registered: 06/02/09
Posts: 124
Loc: tennessee

Offline
crowterminator, you are ALOT more easy going than i am!! if my inlaws told me something like that i would have told them to take their opinion and stick it up their #@#!!
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