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#3109128 - 01/04/13 12:11 PM Re: TNdeer Origin [Re: Winchester]
hunter drew
14 Point


Registered: 06/16/07
Posts: 8383
Loc: henderson county TN Lexington

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 Originally Posted By: Winchester
 Originally Posted By: hunter drew
 Originally Posted By: JThuntsalot
I remember when I joined in 07. It was way different. Had Joker the Troll Killer. I don't remember Doe-Lusional name back then. Game-eye. Posting a pic of him in just his rob by a tree with his deer mounts. The Tattooed guy from Paris. And a few others back then. My first year they had a get together at Game eyes house with DA and a bunch of others. i tried to make that but ended up getting called to work. Also remember meeting spit and a few others at Toms steak house in Paris while they was at a LBL hunt.






I remember somebody got peppered that day Glad nobody got seriously hurt that day. It was a great time



I was at both of those events. It was a good day at Bobby's place

Up until the infamous shotgun blast!
Been here for 10 years and made a few of the Vous along the way. Some good times and good people for sure!! Come on back your good they all said, as we hit the tree!! \:D
_________________________
It is what it is

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#3109160 - 01/04/13 12:47 PM Re: TNdeer Origin [Re: Nyper]
RUGER Administrator
Mouse Killa
Non-Typical


Registered: 11/19/99
Posts: 4104855
Loc: TN

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 Originally Posted By: Nyper
 Originally Posted By: TX300mag
Nyper, tell us about buying the $15,000 elephant from a member off of eBay! \:D


hahahaha.... it was a moose!!


Wasn't it an elk?
_________________________
Youth is wasted on the young.

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#3109163 - 01/04/13 12:51 PM Re: TNdeer Origin [Re: RUGER]
Nyper
16 Point


Registered: 11/29/00
Posts: 11069
Loc: Lebanon

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 Originally Posted By: RUGER
 Originally Posted By: Nyper
 Originally Posted By: TX300mag
Nyper, tell us about buying the $15,000 elephant from a member off of eBay! \:D


hahahaha.... it was a moose!!


Wasn't it an elk?


I don't know.. it had horns. I got excited...

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#3109165 - 01/04/13 12:52 PM Re: TNdeer Origin [Re: caretaker]
Nyper
16 Point


Registered: 11/29/00
Posts: 11069
Loc: Lebanon

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 Originally Posted By: caretaker
I remember joinin back in 96. My origonal name was grayhairedold.
Been down a few trails sense then. I remember when a young computer guru by the name of Nyper set up a site to let us post pics without having to use photobucket. I even remember when piddler got the coveted crown.I first logged in with an old packard bell 90 with windows 95.


hahaha... I was photobucket before photobucket was cool! If only I'd had the sense to market it! \:\)

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#3109181 - 01/04/13 01:07 PM Re: TNdeer Origin [Re: Winchester]
showmehorns
16 Point


Registered: 10/23/02
Posts: 15927
Loc: usually in the woods

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 Originally Posted By: Winchester
 Originally Posted By: hunter drew
 Originally Posted By: JThuntsalot
I remember when I joined in 07. It was way different. Had Joker the Troll Killer. I don't remember Doe-Lusional name back then. Game-eye. Posting a pic of him in just his rob by a tree with his deer mounts. The Tattooed guy from Paris. And a few others back then. My first year they had a get together at Game eyes house with DA and a bunch of others. i tried to make that but ended up getting called to work. Also remember meeting spit and a few others at Toms steak house in Paris while they was at a LBL hunt.





I was at both of those events. It was a good day at Bobby's place

Up until the infamous shotgun blast!
Been here for 10 years and made a few of the Vous along the way. Some good times and good people for sure!! Come on back your good they all said, as we hit the tree!! \:D


That was totally my fault.
_________________________
"Every man dies, but not every man lives."




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#3109203 - 01/04/13 01:24 PM Re: TNdeer Origin [Re: showmehorns]
Doe-lusional
16 Point


Registered: 01/27/07
Posts: 14413
Loc: Kingston Springs

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the "Bobbyroo" was definately entertaining!! I have video clips from it, I laugh my butt off watchin them!
_________________________
If ya ain't first..... Your last!!!

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#3109221 - 01/04/13 01:41 PM Re: TNdeer Origin [Re: Doe-lusional]
WGK
WILD BILL
12 Point


Registered: 02/18/12
Posts: 6073
Loc: loudon

content Online
A Big THANK YOU to all those who started, and keep tn deer up and running. In the short time I have been a member I have made some wonderful friendships. And to me that is what makes this site so great.
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William G Kollock

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#3109240 - 01/04/13 01:57 PM Re: TNdeer Origin [Re: WGK]
BigAl
16 Point


Registered: 07/31/01
Posts: 19064
Loc: Fayette County, TN US

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I've got Fubar's roid story. It's pretty long but I'll try and post it. Hopefully it doesn't have anything in it that will get me banned.
_________________________
Walls: Leading the way outdoors.

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#3109241 - 01/04/13 01:58 PM Re: TNdeer Origin [Re: BigAl]
BigAl
16 Point


Registered: 07/31/01
Posts: 19064
Loc: Fayette County, TN US

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FUBARS ROID STORY:




Disclaimer: The following presentation contains graphic nudity, violence and sexual content. Frequent references to the male anatomy , although medical in nature, may offend some. Parental discretion is advised...possibly even grand parental discretion! Never try this at home.

This story is basically true, however I have taken some poetic license to make it a tad more interesting. Iíll let you decide what has been embellished.....


Happened several years ago. I got this really heinous case of hemroids. I mean BAD ! Mrs. FUBAR took a look and told me to go see a doctor. Being a man, I wasnít sure how to do this. With a little instruction from the Mrs. I was actually able to make an appointment.
Well appointment time rolled around and I found myself sitting (uncomfortably) in the waiting room. After what seemed like an eternity, I was called back and led to a waiting room.


Scary looking nurse: Letís just you drop them pants!

Me to myself: Uh, oh , I saw this in Deliverance...

Scary looking nurse: The doctor will be right with you.

Me to myself: Whew! That could have gotten ugly real fast...

I drop my pants as instructed and lay on the table. After another eternity. in comes the doc.

Doc: Well, what seems to be the problem Mr. FUBAR ?

Me: Nothing....except I think my butt is going to explode !

Doc: Roll over.

Me to myself: What is this , obedience school ??

I again do as I am told.

Doc: Oh, those are impressive!

Me: You want them? Theyíre yours. I feel like someone jammed a beach ball up my wazoo !

Doc: Letís try the non-intrusive method first.

Me: Sounds like a good idea, I hate intrusions, especially when it comes to my a$$.


Well, the Doc gave me several creams and instructions to soak in hot water daily and yada, yada, yada. After about a week of these methods, the dang roids are big as ever. Back to the Docís.


Doc: Hmmm, didnít work. Still swollen.

Me: No s**t Sherlock! How many years of med school does it take to come to that conclusion?
Whatís next?


Doc: Surgery. Weíll have to lance them.

Me: Excuse me?? Iím not keen on getting my butt poked - in any way, shape or form!

Doc: Iíll schedule it with Dr. Bruce, our resident expert.

Me: Lovely... just freakin lovely. Is this Dr. Bruce any kin to Dr. Ruth? Hehehehe

Doc: ( unamused ) No.

Me to myself: Tough crowd.


The surgery was scheduled. Outpatient, mind you. Surgery day arrives and back to the docís i go, making sure to throughly clean my butt before I go. Wouldnít want any dingleberries hanging out there, now would we? Back to the exam room with the same scary nurse.


Scary looking nurse: Strip from the waist down.

Me: Oh, sure. Tell me, you MUST have been voted Miss Congeniality in high school, right ?

Scary looking nurse: (glare)


So I strip, then sit on the table of doom - wearing a shirt and tie , and nekkid from the waist down except for my socks. Iím sure it was quite a sight. After sometime the door opens and in walks this very attractive blonde. I quickly cover up my privates.

Me to myself: Oh great, of all times to get a good looking nurse. Man , if I was Clinton right now and she was an intern and this were the oval office, Iíd have it made... Oh well, better make the best of it.


Me: Well hello there sweet thang. And who might you be?

Blonde: Hello Mr. FUBAR, Iím Dr. Bruce. Iíll be performing the surgery.

Me to myself: No, This canít be. All the years of going to the doctors, Iíve NEVER had a good looking one , why now ??

Me: Hehehe. Blonde doctor ....go figure.

Dr. Bruce: Very amusing, Mr. FUBAR . Like Iíve never heard that one before, donít quit your day job.

The door opens again and in walks yet another attractive woman.

Dr. Bruce: This is the assisting nurse.

Me to myself: God is punishing me. Oh Lord, Please let me wake up from this nightmare.

Dr. Bruce: Please lay down Mr. FUBAR.

Me: Please call me FUBAR. No need to be so formal. Besides when I post my 2,000th on Tndeer itís more typing Iíll have to do.

Dr. Bruce: Alright FUBAR. To save typing you can call me DB for short.

I lay down as instructed.

DB: OK nurse put the stirrups in.

Me to myself: This canít be happening. Please let it be over...

DB: OK FUBAR, place your feet in the stirrups please. Scoot down please.....further.....further.....

Me: My buttís half off the table as it is !

DB: Just a little further..... that should do it.

Me to myself: You better believe that should do it.... 2 more inches and youíd be up to your shoulders in my arse!

DB: Weíll have to do something with your testicles.

Me: Touch those and youíll draw back a bloody stump! I donít care how good lookin you are!

DB: No, no. We can either tape them out of the way , or you can hold them out of the way. Your choice.

Me: Iíll hold them thank you. Just keep that duct tape away from me.

DB: OK, Now lift your butt up so I can put this blotter under you.

Me to myself: Oh, the humiliation.

So hereís the picture so far. Iím lying on a table legs spread apart, with 2 attractive just a couple inches south of where they need to be, and me and my hand full (yes hand full) of private parts. How wrong is that ??

DB: OK FUBAR, now for the anesthetic. This will probably sting a little.

Me: Be gentle, this is my first time...

I found out that day that THE most sensitive part of the body, at least where pain is involved, is your butt. And Iím not talking about cheeks either. DB and the nurse each take a handful of butt cheek and spread them wide open, revealing my previously un-violated nether region!

DB proceeds to stick the needle where it really doesnít belong. Every muscle in my body tenses - including my hand holding my private parts! The survival instinct kicks in and I start scooting up the table.

DB: Come back here FUBAR, Iím not done with you yet.

Me to myself: You sadist witch from he11 !

After a series of God only knows how many injections, DB and the nurse pull me down from the ceiling, whimpering like a beaten dog.

The nurse wheels over a tray with implements of torture - razor sharp scalpels, hemostats and other unidentifiable tools. Iím pretty sure I saw a set of Craftsman RoboGrips !

DB: Are you numb yet?

Me: Iíve been numb all my life. HAHAHAHA !

DB: (irritated and rolling eyes) I meant your behind.

Me: Uhhh, yeah. Tough crowd.
DB: Iíll need you to hold your testicles again.

Me: If I keep this up wonít I go blind??

DB: Youíre quite the comedian.....

I gently maneuver my privates up and out of the way. DB begins the surgery. From my view, All I could see was the tops of their heads. All I could feel was this weird tugging down there. No telling what they were really doing. For all I knew, she was carving a smiley face on my butt!

Me to myself: What was I thinking eating that burrito for lunch??!! Oh Lord, please donít let me fart....

Me: So how bout this weather?

DB: Itís been pretty cold. Please move your testicles, I canít see the hemorrhoids.

Me: Oh, sure. Wanna hear about the chicken I shot at 225 yards?

DB: Not particularly. Your testicles are in the way again FUBAR.

Me: Oops. Do you drink?

DB: Occasionally. Are you sure you donít want me to tape up your testicles? You seem to be having trouble containing them.

Me: Only occasionally?? Oh well, no oneís perfect. Iíll pass on the tape, I got em under control now.

DB: I donít believe you do FUBAR.

Me: Sorry. So , been doing this long?

DB: Several years. Had to do this to my husband onour honeymoon. No anesthesia. Theyíre in the way again FUBAR.

Me: Sorry. So what makes someone want to stick their heads up peoples butts for a living?

DB: Iíll ignore that question. Wow, These hemorrhoids sure are tenacious! Uhh, FUBAR, I really need you to kep your testicles out of the way please.

Me: Hehe, sorry. They keep slipping.... really.

DB: If they slip again, I might slip. This scalpel is VERY sharp. Terrible things could happen to them. Hehehe

Me: (gulp) Uhhh, wonít happen again, I swear.

After about an hour, DB finishes up. She lifts her head up from between my legs, sweat on her brow and looking exhausted. The nurse looks equally spent.

Me to myself: What a sight... too bad it had to be for this.

DB: There you go FUBAR. That should do it! You can get dressed now.

She and the nurse depart, leaving me bleeding on the table. I sit up, taking care not to bloody the few clothes I had on. on wobbly legs, I manage to stand, blood running down my leg.

Me to myself: What the .... here I am bleeding from my butt! How am I supposed to get dressed??

In walks DB again. Iím standing there, still wearing a shirt and tie and socks, and still holding the family jewels.

DB: Youíre not dressed.....

Me: Excuse me, but Iím BLEEDING here !

DB: Oh, Iím sorry. Here. By the way, you can let go of your testicles now.

Me: Oh yeah.....hehehe. Forgot....

She hands me a wad of gause, which I quickly jam up my keester to plug the flow. I get dressed and gingerly waddle through the waiting room and out to the car. Everyone waiting stared as I made my way slowly by. Iím sure the lump of gauze was visible, giving me the appearance that I pinched a loaf in my pants. I have never been so humiliated in my life.

To date, I have had no more flare ups - knock on wood. With my luck, next time Iíd probably get some X-supermodel dingbat turned proctologist !
_________________________
Walls: Leading the way outdoors.

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#3109263 - 01/04/13 02:12 PM Re: TNdeer Origin [Re: BigAl]
BigAl
16 Point


Registered: 07/31/01
Posts: 19064
Loc: Fayette County, TN US

Offline
Here's another tndeer classic. The Shatmybow story. If the originator of this wants to identify himself, I'll let him do it.

Shatmebow

It started out a beautiful, frosty and cold morning in VA, it was a early season bow hunt that I always attended. That morning I had awakened and was feeling a little under the weather, but it was not an option to stay home, I had attended for several years and had an obligation to the boys. On the 30 minute drive over I kept thinking to myself "I just don't feel right", but continued on the trip knowing that If I let my friends down that I would never hear the end of it. After arriving at the farm we all sit down on the porch for the game plan. I had decided that I would stay at the cabin for a little while until I felt a little better, but again, the boys would have none of it. It was decided that I would go to the nearest stand site since I wasn't feeling the best in the world. We all had radios so I figured if something went wrong I would have communication and it wouldn't be a big deal. On the way to the stand I caught my second wind. I actually started feeling OK and thought the morning would turn out to be aight. I climbed up the stand and got situated and was settled in for the annual bow hunt. As I was thinking my lucky stars for my quick recovery I remembered the snacks I had brought along. This morning I had not packed anything major and decided it was going to be chocolate and water all day. I guess it was around 10 or so when my belly started rumbling and assumed it was where I had no breakfast so I opened up a couple of Reese cups and began to chow down. After the second Reese cup I could here something brewing. I thought to myself "maybe I should go ahead and get down just in case I get really sick", but decided I would try and tough it out. After 10 minutes or so the rumbling stopped so what do I decide to do? Yep, you got it, I eat another Reese cup. After the second Reese cup the rumbling started again only this time with some slight pain involved. I started getting a little uncomfortable, but the pains would come and go. After 30 minutes or so I decide that a little water might help out and began drinking.

Now, this is where everything turns to shat, literally. As soon as the water hit my stomach it was like a chemical reaction. All of a sudden I got that "mud turtle" or "prairie dog" feeling. I wanted to climb down, but I was afraid to stand up. I thought If I would stand up slowly that it might work with me so I grabbed the hand rails and started to pick myself up off the seat. I got a inch or two up and then it hit......."Oh good lord, if move another inch all crap my pants full right here in my stand" so I slowly sit back down. Now I'm in a pickle, here I am with a brown snake in a head lock and I can't get up to do anything about it. A little more time passes and the pains grow increasingly tense. I think to myself "if it would just let up for a few minutes I'll climb down and do the deed". Sure enough I get a break in the action and decide I better take advantage of it. I had a rope tied to my stand on each side, one for my bow and one for my backpack. I take my bow and tie it to the rope and lower it down to the ground. Then I take the backpack and do the same. About the time the back pack hits the ground..........wham.....it Hits me, "oh good lord the pain, please just give me time to hit the ground". I turn around to face the tree and start the (what seemed like 100' decent) trip to the bottom. I get about 2 foot and get "that feeling". I immediately turn around and start undoing my belt. As soon as the belt is undone I think "if I hang my a$$ over now I'll shat on my bow or backpack one". I grab the rope on the right side of my stand and begin swinging until the pack is well behind the tree and out of reach from what is about to go down. I get my pants undone and no sooner that they hit my ankles I'm leaned over the left side of my stand and the explosion occurs. I'm broke out in a cold sweat, head in my hands and hanging on for dear life when it hits me, "Oh no I didn't, Oh sweet Jesus, I'm on right side of my stand and I swung the left side out of the way, NO NO NO , please tell me I didn't just shat on my bow!!". After cleaning up the best I could I turn around to check out the damage. I look down and am amazed at what i find. Not only did I shat on my bow, but it was covered from axle to mother flippin axle. I turn around, stick my feet in the stirrups and grab a hold of the side bars only to find my right hand has found a small patch of toxic waste. I do the best I can to get what I can off and I start the long climb down, thinking every couple of feet "how could you possibly be that stupid, you've just shat all over your feakin bow!?!".

I finally hit the ground and step over to check out the damage and it was even worse than what I expected. There wasn't even a place I could pick my bow up. It was covered from axle to axle and front to back. The round cosmic sight was full, I couldn't even see the single pin inside of it. I found a leaf and wiped enough of the cam off to where I could get a hold of it and packed my stuff and headed back to the cabin. All the way back all I was thinking was "if I can just get back to the cabin, get this thing washed off without anyone seeing me and get out of dodge", but as I rounded the corner there they sit. Not 1 of them, but all 4 of my buddies are on the porch. When I got close enough to where they could see my bow the closest ask "Is that shat on your bow" yes, I replied "how did that happen" he ask. I looked at him one time and come back with "I was walking back out of the woods when two fellas jumped me. One of them held me down while the other crapped all over my bow". He looks at me puzzled like and says "in all my years of coming up here I never known anything like that to happen??". I looked back at him with a even more puzzled look and reply "Terry, that was a lie. I shat on my bow. I got sick, couldn't make it down and shat on my bow. Is that better?". They all lost it, we laughed for hours on end while trying to figure out how to clean up the mess.

After a hour or so of laughing and cleaning up my bow I decided that I had drove over there and wanted to finish the day out, regardless of my misfortune earlier in the morning. I got set back up (in a different location) and was ready to rock. As soon as I sit down and everything got still this odor passes in front of my nose. I immediately know what I smell, "that's shat" I tell myself. I get out my scent killer, but there wasn't enough scent killer in the 3 surrounding counties to kill this smell. The longer I sit there the more I realized that I might as well be hunting with a turd. With 4 or 5 hours of daylight left I went ahead a cut my losses and headed to the house.
_________________________
Walls: Leading the way outdoors.

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