#3067285 - 12/07/12 04:41 AM
MALE VS. FEMALE AT THE ATM MACHINE
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MUP
Non-Typical
Registered: 08/01/07
Posts: 36143
Loc: Just North of Chatt-town
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Ah, it's been posted before I think, but what the heck, it's FRIDAY! OH, and I rec'd it from my cousin, who is female btw! 
MALE VS. FEMALE AT THE ATM MACHINE
A new sign in the Bank Lobby reads:
'Please note that this Bank is installing new Drive-through ATM
machines enabling customers to withdraw cash without leaving their
vehicles.
Customers using this new facility are requested to use the procedures
outlined below when accessing their accounts.
After months of careful research, "MALE & FEMALE" procedures have been
developed. Please follow the appropriate steps for your gender.'
*******************************
MALE PROCEDURE:
1. Drive up to the cash machine.
2. Put down your car window.
3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.
4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.
5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.
6. Put window up.
7. Drive off.
*******************************
FEMALE PROCEDURE:
(What is really funny is that most of this part is the truth!!!!)
1. Drive up to cash machine.
2. Reverse and back up the required amount to align car window with the
machine.
3. Set parking brake, put the window down.
4. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card.
5. Tell person on cell phone you will call them back and hang up.
6. Attempt to insert card into machine.
7. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive
distance from the car.
8. Insert card.
9. Re-insert card the right way.
10. Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the
inside back page.
11. Enter PIN.
12. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.
13. Enter amount of cash required.
14. Check makeup in rear view mirror.
15. Retrieve cash and receipt.
16. Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash inside.
17. Write debit amount in cheque register and place receipt in back of
chequebook.
18. Re-check makeup.
19. Drive forward 2 feet.
20. Reverse back to cash machine.
21. Retrieve card.
22. Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot
provided!
23. Give dirty look to irate male driver waiting behind you.
24. Restart stalled engine and pull off.
25. Redial person on cell phone.
26. Drive for 2 to 3 miles.
27. Release Parking Brake.
SEND THIS TO A MAN WHO NEEDS A LAUGH, AND TO THE LADIES who can handle
it.... And they need a laugh, too!
_________________________
MUP
Amateurs: Built the Ark
Professionals: Built the Titanic
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#3067350 - 12/07/12 06:42 AM
Re: MALE VS. FEMALE AT THE ATM MACHINE
[Re: rem270]
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AROD
6 Point
Registered: 10/02/05
Posts: 810
Loc: maynardville, tn
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lol
_________________________
STUPID HURT'S
and if i had of took that shot!!!
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#3067442 - 12/07/12 07:48 AM
Re: MALE VS. FEMALE AT THE ATM MACHINE
[Re: AROD]
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infoman jr.
8 Point
Registered: 10/05/03
Posts: 1495
Loc: Elizabethtown, KY
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...and release parking brake. That part got me!
_________________________
NRA Lifetime Member
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#3067499 - 12/07/12 08:15 AM
Re: MALE VS. FEMALE AT THE ATM MACHINE
[Re: infoman jr.]
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Coach
16 Point
Registered: 12/02/07
Posts: 10869
Loc: Pall Mall, TN and Dexter, MI
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I have to admit I've been known to talk to that dang atm machine as in "that's bs I made a deposit yesterday" or "stop asking so many dang questions and just give me my money"....
_________________________
"Everybody has a plan until they get punched in the face." Mike Tyson Dean Business Supply, Llc http://www.adam4d.com
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#3067648 - 12/07/12 09:25 AM
Re: MALE VS. FEMALE AT THE ATM MACHINE
[Re: Coach]
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AllOutdoors
8 Point
Registered: 11/03/08
Posts: 2304
Loc: Tennessee
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HAHA!
_________________________
Looking to buy a Marlin 1894 FG 41 Rem. Mag.
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