#3062195 - 12/03/12 09:33 PM
Need help on how to get rid of a brotherinlaw
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J.C.W.
Team Solo / Chaneylake Student
14 Point
Registered: 11/21/06
Posts: 7640
Loc: knoxville
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That's lives with u because he doesn't have the nads to make it on his own...
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#3062200 - 12/03/12 09:37 PM
Re: Need help on how to get rid of a brotherinlaw
[Re: J.C.W.]
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waynesworld
8 Point
Registered: 05/13/12
Posts: 1454
Loc: Mboro, Tennessee
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Well make him work and pay his way. If you make it more work to stay then it is to live on their own they will leave works on kids also.
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#3062210 - 12/03/12 09:40 PM
Re: Need help on how to get rid of a brotherinlaw
[Re: waynesworld]
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SPickle
4 Point
Registered: 08/25/05
Posts: 494
Loc: dandridge
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Just kick his a$$ out and wish him the best of luck! Thats what I did to my mine a few years back! He's a pharmacist now!
_________________________
Deer Killin MOchine!!
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#3062221 - 12/03/12 09:44 PM
Re: Need help on how to get rid of a brotherinlaw
[Re: SPickle]
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Nimrod777
18 Point
Registered: 09/28/03
Posts: 23272
Loc: Spring Hill, TN
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Start nagging him about the things on the 'Honey-Do' list you create for him until he either works around the house enough to justify his meals, or you nag him to death and he splits.
_________________________
Some hunt for racks, some hunt for roasts. I hunt for sheer joy; the aforementioned items are merely fringe benefits.
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#3062228 - 12/03/12 09:49 PM
Re: Need help on how to get rid of a brotherinlaw
[Re: J.C.W.]
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redlegs07
4 Point
Registered: 06/08/04
Posts: 309
Loc: Mt. Juliet, TN
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Tell him it's time for him to go... so you can bang his sister more often.
Grow some of your own (jk) and just tell him it ain't working. talk about it's gonna go and make a timeline and help him with a plan and stick to it. As much as you'd prob just like to boot him, he's family andvto me you ought to help him (not monetarily) but there is help. But you better discuss it with your wife and make sure ya'll agree or she may really resent you.
I lived with my sister and BIL when for 2 years beginning when i was 18 and that was one of the best times in my life because we became really close. But my BIL just told me when it was time to go and helped me develop a plan to make sure I wouldn't starve or become homeless. I respect him and I'm forever grateful for what they did for me.
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#3062229 - 12/03/12 09:49 PM
Re: Need help on how to get rid of a brotherinlaw
[Re: Nimrod777]
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SilverFox
10 Point
Registered: 10/16/10
Posts: 3653
Loc: Kodak TN
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Change the locks
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#3062233 - 12/03/12 09:51 PM
Re: Need help on how to get rid of a brotherinlaw
[Re: Nimrod777]
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J.C.W.
Team Solo / Chaneylake Student
14 Point
Registered: 11/21/06
Posts: 7640
Loc: knoxville
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He works..I even got him the job a yr and a half ago. Yeah..he's been with us that long..blows his money every week and is out before the next check. Problem is...wife is always gonna help her little bro out ...even thru all the lies
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#3062234 - 12/03/12 09:52 PM
Re: Need help on how to get rid of a brotherinlaw
[Re: J.C.W.]
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J.C.W.
Team Solo / Chaneylake Student
14 Point
Registered: 11/21/06
Posts: 7640
Loc: knoxville
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I did change the lock on the front door...
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#3062238 - 12/03/12 09:52 PM
Re: Need help on how to get rid of a brotherinlaw
[Re: SilverFox]
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AndyW
10 Point
Registered: 10/21/10
Posts: 3463
Loc: Allardt, TN
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SSS?
Kidding!
_________________________
Don't mess with me. I'll run with scissors and not think twice.
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#3062261 - 12/03/12 10:12 PM
Re: Need help on how to get rid of a brotherinlaw
[Re: AndyW]
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Eric Kilby
8 Point
Registered: 04/06/06
Posts: 1720
Loc: Tellico Plains
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figure up what kind of apartment he can afford pay the deposit and stuff on it tell him to pack his crap and get out.. he will have 30days to come up with rent and make it clear he is not moving back in with you
_________________________
Right here in the forest i will find true happiness, the happiness that will not be contaminated by the mind of man.
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#3062262 - 12/03/12 10:14 PM
Re: Need help on how to get rid of a brotherinlaw
[Re: Eric Kilby]
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J.C.W.
Team Solo / Chaneylake Student
14 Point
Registered: 11/21/06
Posts: 7640
Loc: knoxville
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He's moved out once for about a month and a half...and screwed that up...wife let him come back.....
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#3062269 - 12/03/12 10:21 PM
Re: Need help on how to get rid of a brotherinlaw
[Re: KANATI McD]
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Eric Kilby
8 Point
Registered: 04/06/06
Posts: 1720
Loc: Tellico Plains
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become a nudist... crawl in bed with him... or i would tell the wife he needed to move out if she doesnt want to push him then tell her you are lol
_________________________
Right here in the forest i will find true happiness, the happiness that will not be contaminated by the mind of man.
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#3062273 - 12/03/12 10:23 PM
Re: Need help on how to get rid of a brotherinlaw
[Re: Eric Kilby]
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Bambi Buster
12 Point
Registered: 01/29/04
Posts: 6125
Loc: Middle Tennessee
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With as much respect as I can muster, I cannot help but think the problem is at least as much with your wife as with your brother-in-law. Sounds as though you got a package deal when you tied the knot.
_________________________
"The American military is like a finely crafted sword. To be effective, it must be wielded by a discerning, skilled and merciless hand."
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#3062278 - 12/03/12 10:29 PM
Re: Need help on how to get rid of a brotherinlaw
[Re: J.C.W.]
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Buccaneer
4 Point
Registered: 08/29/06
Posts: 332
Loc: Hendersonville
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He's moved out once for about a month and a half...and screwed that up...wife let him come back.....
Are you kidding me? Who's wearing the pants in that family? If it's me their both gone.
Edited by Unicam (12/04/12 07:56 AM)
Edit Reason: do not go aroung the word filter please.
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#3062296 - 12/03/12 10:46 PM
Re: Need help on how to get rid of a brotherinlaw
[Re: Buccaneer]
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utfan1
10 Point
Registered: 12/31/06
Posts: 3617
Loc: cleveland,tn
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seek marriage and co-dependence counseling . call dr phil. wife is dead wrong. goodluck
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#3062298 - 12/03/12 10:49 PM
Re: Need help on how to get rid of a brotherinlaw
[Re: Buccaneer]
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J.C.W.
Team Solo / Chaneylake Student
14 Point
Registered: 11/21/06
Posts: 7640
Loc: knoxville
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He's moved out once for about a month and a half...and screwed that up...wife let him come back..... Are you kidding me? Who's wearing the pants in that family? If it's me their both gone.
Yeah...then I will explain to my three young kids why I kicked their mother out. Guess that only works when u have your big boy pants on
Edited by Unicam (12/04/12 07:57 AM)
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#3062326 - 12/03/12 11:51 PM
Re: Need help on how to get rid of a brotherinlaw
[Re: J.C.W.]
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RutMan
16 Point
Registered: 09/18/00
Posts: 15229
Loc: Atoka ,TN - USA
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Put him in the street. You married your wife and she married you and y'all are parents to your 3 kids. NONE of this includes your BIL.
You realize this, time for your wife too also. IF she doesn't, the end result is her choice, not yours.
She is NOT helping him at all.
Best wishes.
_________________________
I believe in the sun....even when it isn't shining
I believe in love....even when I don't feel it
I believe in GOD....even when HE is silent
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#3062374 - 12/04/12 04:49 AM
Re: Need help on how to get rid of a brotherinlaw
[Re: RutMan]
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BlackBelt
10 Point
Registered: 08/09/08
Posts: 2632
Loc: SouthWest TN
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The problem is your wife loves her brother and feels responsible for him. Thats not a bad thing really, because it shows she's a compassionate woman. Thats the kind of wife you want to have long-term rather than a self-centered princess. If it were me I'd put a used, crappy, very, VERY small trailer out back and let him live there. I'm talking the size of a pop-up. Dont make it nice. Make it uncomfortable, but liveable. He is responsible for all costs in his tiny little home (utilities, cable, internet etc.) and he is responsible for removing his waste products from your property.
By doing this you are keeping your wifes wish to not throw him out on the street (which keeps peace love and harmony between you and her) but you are also giving him incentive to do better for himself if he wants better.
And you should have very little invested in this setup.
And if it were me I would never call it a trailer. Keep referring to it as an 'apartment' so it sits better with the wife and makes it sound not quite as crappy as it actually is.
Edited by BlackBelt (12/04/12 05:16 AM)
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#3062378 - 12/04/12 04:56 AM
Re: Need help on how to get rid of a brotherinlaw
[Re: BlackBelt]
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102
10 Point
Registered: 08/01/02
Posts: 3681
Loc: Tennessee
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The problem is your wife loves her brother and feels responsible for him. Thats not a bad thing really, because it shows she's a compassinate woman. Thats the kind of wife you want to have long-term rather than a self-centered princess. If it were me I'd put a used, crappy, very, VERY small trailer out back and let him live there. I'm talking the size of a pop-up. Dont make it nice. Make it uncomfortable, but liveable. He is responsible for all costs in his tiny little home (utilities, cable, internet etc.) and he is responsible for removing his waste products from your property.
By doing this you are keeping your wifes wish to not throw him out on the street (which keeps peace love and harmony between you and her) but you are also giving him incentive to do better for himself if he wants better.
And you should have very little invested in this setup.
THIS IS A GREAT IDEA.
_________________________
God, Family, Job, Bowhunting
Luck is where Opportunity and Preparation MEET!
When in doubt...back out!
SCAPAS.stay calm and pick a spot.
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#3062379 - 12/04/12 04:57 AM
Re: Need help on how to get rid of a brotherinlaw
[Re: BlackBelt]
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WestTn Huntin'man
16 Point
Registered: 11/19/06
Posts: 10962
Loc: Benton Co.
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It is called enabling.If he never has to stand up on his own 2 Charge enough for rent and utilities that he will find a cheaper place to live.
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#3062393 - 12/04/12 05:09 AM
Re: Need help on how to get rid of a brotherinlaw
[Re: WestTn Huntin'man]
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bowriter
Non-Typical
Registered: 08/31/02
Posts: 40337
Loc: Lebanon,TN USA
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Divorce wife. Probably be cheaper in the long run.
_________________________
Constipation has ruined many a good day. Not as many as stupidity, though.
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#3062409 - 12/04/12 05:36 AM
Re: Need help on how to get rid of a brotherinlaw
[Re: 102]
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FULLDRAWXX75
12 Point
Registered: 01/29/07
Posts: 5499
Loc: Adirondack Mtns, NY
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The problem is your wife loves her brother and feels responsible for him. Thats not a bad thing really, because it shows she's a compassinate woman. Thats the kind of wife you want to have long-term rather than a self-centered princess. If it were me I'd put a used, crappy, very, VERY small trailer out back and let him live there. I'm talking the size of a pop-up. Dont make it nice. Make it uncomfortable, but liveable. He is responsible for all costs in his tiny little home (utilities, cable, internet etc.) and he is responsible for removing his waste products from your property.
By doing this you are keeping your wifes wish to not throw him out on the street (which keeps peace love and harmony between you and her) but you are also giving him incentive to do better for himself if he wants better.
And you should have very little invested in this setup. THIS IS A GREAT IDEA.
Sounds like a plan......................Now why is Toby Keith's "Welcome to the trailerhood" song running through my head
FDXX75
_________________________
“Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe.”
― Albert Einstein
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#3062438 - 12/04/12 06:10 AM
Re: Need help on how to get rid of a brotherinlaw
[Re: FULLDRAWXX75]
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BMan
14 Point
Registered: 02/06/06
Posts: 8969
Loc: Middle TN
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It appears that you and the wife need to have a serious talk about this ASAP...
_________________________
Rules are for people who lose fights.
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#3062439 - 12/04/12 06:12 AM
Re: Need help on how to get rid of a brotherinlaw
[Re: FULLDRAWXX75]
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Kimber45
Keeper of the Classifieds
16 Point
Registered: 07/10/08
Posts: 11241
Loc: Close to Jackson, TN
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Tell the wife she goes, or you start working by your rules in regards to the BIL.
Start charging him rent that includes utilities, groceries, renters insurance - make sure its enough that he could live on his own with the amount.
You guys are not honestly doing him any good letting him feed off of you.
_________________________
Patriotism is not short, frenzied outbursts of emotion, but the tranquil and steady dedication of a lifetime.
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#3062444 - 12/04/12 06:16 AM
Re: Need help on how to get rid of a brotherinlaw
[Re: BMan]
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Dodge Man
12 Point
Registered: 10/15/03
Posts: 5664
Loc: Dyersburg, TN
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Sounds to me the person you need to have a talk with is your wife! You two have to work out why she keep letting him ride for free and keep letting him come back when he messes up. Until that is talked out and fix there is no point in kicking the brother-in-law out.
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#3062481 - 12/04/12 06:50 AM
Re: Need help on how to get rid of a brotherinlaw
[Re: Dodge Man]
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fishboy1
14 Point
Registered: 01/13/03
Posts: 9755
Loc: Warren Co
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Sounds to me the person you need to have a talk with is your wife! You two have to work out why she keep letting him ride for free and keep letting him come back when he messes up. Until that is talked out and fix there is no point in kicking the brother-in-law out.
Yep. follow this out 15 years and your kids will look like your BIL. Her compassion and co dependent behavior is teaching your BIL that he can be lazy and dependent. HIS behavior is teaching your kids that it is ok to sponge off others.
Have a long serious talk with your wife and consider counseling if it doesn't go well.
_________________________
A gun in the hand is worth 2 cops on the phone. No one can name a single power the government has granted itself that hasn't been abused. Socialism is for losers http://amillerphotoevent.com
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#3062487 - 12/04/12 06:59 AM
Re: Need help on how to get rid of a brotherinlaw
[Re: fishboy1]
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Wildcat
Non-Typical
Registered: 06/10/00
Posts: 39174
Loc: Western Ky.
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You will never get the BIL out until you FIRST get the wife on yourside and she's on the same page as you. From what you posted right not the wife and BIL are the ones on the same page.
_________________________
A Government that does not trust its law abiding citizens to keep and bear arms, is itself unworthy of trust..... - James Madison
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#3062500 - 12/04/12 07:16 AM
Re: Need help on how to get rid of a brotherinlaw
[Re: J.C.W.]
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Brisco Darlin
8 Point
Registered: 04/24/12
Posts: 1041
Loc: East Tn.
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kick him out. i did that to mine that was living in a rental house we owned. He wouldn't keep the upkeep or pay so i went over and told him to get out.
_________________________
They ain't a horse in sight, but if one comes along i'll give him the right o way.
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#3062556 - 12/04/12 08:08 AM
Re: Need help on how to get rid of a brotherinlaw
[Re: 102]
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AlabamaSwamper
12 Point
Registered: 06/03/04
Posts: 5026
Loc: Southern Wayne CO and NW Alaba...
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Not to be harsh but the truth nevertheless.
You are the man of YOUR house. Your wife needs to get over it. Demand she stop any help and kick his butt out. Plain and simple. Your wife is doing nothing but enabling him and he will never change if you don't make her stop.
Nothing personal against you or your wife but that is the way it is. She married you and her responsibility is to you not him and she needs to know that.
You'll probably piss her off but she'll get over it.
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#3062626 - 12/04/12 09:06 AM
Re: Need help on how to get rid of a brotherinlaw
[Re: plinker22]
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BlackBelt
10 Point
Registered: 08/09/08
Posts: 2632
Loc: SouthWest TN
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After you have this "talk" with your wife people keep telling you to have...you know, where you tell her you are the man of the house and she'd better start doing what you say...yeah, that talk... Well after your done with that talk, slap her on the rear and say, "And you best be banging those pots and pans together in that kitchen and making me a sammich! And when you're done with that maybe you should fix yourself up a little."
Yep. Tell her that.
Then guess who gets to live out in the little trailer out back?
Women just love it when you talk to them like that.
(PS- If you value your life, you'll realize that was all a joke and you should definitely NOT tell her those things!)
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#3062682 - 12/04/12 09:38 AM
Re: Need help on how to get rid of a brotherinlaw
[Re: Kimber45]
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Dale817
4 Point
Registered: 07/20/12
Posts: 178
Loc: Montgomery Co.
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^^^you guys crack me up,wait that was a joke.right?
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#3062693 - 12/04/12 09:42 AM
Re: Need help on how to get rid of a brotherinlaw
[Re: Eric Kilby]
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REM7
8 Point
Registered: 08/19/08
Posts: 2433
Loc: GRUNDY COUNTY
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Eviction notice
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#3062705 - 12/04/12 09:50 AM
Re: Need help on how to get rid of a brotherinlaw
[Re: REM7]
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7wsm
4 Point
Registered: 10/06/12
Posts: 346
Loc: Tennessee
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no house is big enough for outlaws wait i mean inlaws my bad
_________________________
pray for our country that it returns to a god fearing country AMEN .
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#3062795 - 12/04/12 10:48 AM
Re: Need help on how to get rid of a brotherinlaw
[Re: Eric Kilby]
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jameseboy
8 Point
Registered: 10/02/03
Posts: 1604
Loc: Germantown, TN
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That lies part got all over me. Talk with wife get agreement lies are bad, next time he lies he is gone. Then tell him then do it.
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#3062805 - 12/04/12 11:02 AM
Re: Need help on how to get rid of a brotherinlaw
[Re: Eric Kilby]
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jameseboy
8 Point
Registered: 10/02/03
Posts: 1604
Loc: Germantown, TN
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That lies part got all over me. Talk with wife get agreement lies are bad, next time he lies he is gone. Then tell him then do it.
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#3062893 - 12/04/12 11:51 AM
Re: Need help on how to get rid of a brotherinlaw
[Re: jameseboy]
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GRAMPS
14 Point
Registered: 09/12/03
Posts: 8600
Loc: Mount Carmel, TN
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Take him hunting and let him get lost.
_________________________
The older we get....the better we was.
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#3062906 - 12/04/12 12:00 PM
Re: Need help on how to get rid of a brotherinlaw
[Re: Eric Kilby]
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easy45
18 Point
Registered: 11/06/07
Posts: 24129
Loc: Medon
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Tell him to either help pay the bills or move out
_________________________
Work to live, Live to hunt
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#3063128 - 12/04/12 01:49 PM
Re: Need help on how to get rid of a brotherinlaw
[Re: Kimber45]
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W.Seay
12 Point
Registered: 01/17/06
Posts: 7216
Loc: Collierville,TN.
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I would tell him to leave and she can leave as we'll if she has a problem with it!!
_________________________
To one with faith, no explanation is necessary. To one without faith, no explanation is possible.
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#3063223 - 12/04/12 02:39 PM
Re: Need help on how to get rid of a brotherinlaw
[Re: 102]
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JeepKuntry
16 Point
Registered: 01/20/04
Posts: 13274
Loc: Clinton, TN
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Tell him he's got x amount of days to save money and tell him it's high time to man up.
_________________________
Greg Cooper
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#3063300 - 12/04/12 03:26 PM
Re: Need help on how to get rid of a brotherinlaw
[Re: JeepKuntry]
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TNDeerGuy
10 Point
Registered: 11/28/06
Posts: 4593
Loc: Old Hickory/Mt.Juliet, TN
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You're definately in a pickle, and I hate for everyone involved. The sad thing is...there is no way out of this without someone's feelings getting hurt. First thing I would do would be to sit down with my wife and explain that this is a negative reflection on the kids and a negative for the BIL because what she is doing is enabling him and not helping him—what is the difference between having her brother live with you and one of your kids until they are 40.....there is no difference. If she truly cares for him, you and the family as a unit, then she must allow for him to be motivated by finding a new place to live. You know her better than any of us, so you know the best way to talk to her. Yes, you are the man of the house, but if you follow some of the " me man, you woman" talk on here...you will be the one looking for a new place to live. Just find a way to get the point across that doesn't sound like a complete d-bag and acknowledges her feelings and let's her know that you really care about her brother (even if you really don't), but more importantly this decision must be carried through for the sake of the relationship with each other and the kids, that is the most important and it is time to return to just that without the BIL all up in it. Best of luck and prayers to all of you.
_________________________
Rammer Jammer, Yellow Hammer—Give'em Hell Alabama! Roll Tide!
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#3064290 - 12/05/12 07:56 AM
Re: Need help on how to get rid of a brotherinlaw
[Re: TNDeerGuy]
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knight88
10 Point
Registered: 09/28/06
Posts: 3218
Loc: SE Arizona and Hardin county
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Find him a job out in the oil fields in the Dakotas. When he finds out what the pay rates are you may find he flies away on his own. Good luck
_________________________
Finally at home in Hardin county, thank the Lord...
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#3064401 - 12/05/12 09:10 AM
Re: Need help on how to get rid of a brotherinlaw
[Re: knight88]
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Wildcat
Non-Typical
Registered: 06/10/00
Posts: 39174
Loc: Western Ky.
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Find him a job out in the oil fields in the Dakotas. When he finds out what the pay rates are you may find he flies away on his own. Good luck
If that does not work then YOU go up there and get a GREAT HIGH PAYING JOB, let our wife and BIL help each other.
_________________________
A Government that does not trust its law abiding citizens to keep and bear arms, is itself unworthy of trust..... - James Madison
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#3064448 - 12/05/12 09:44 AM
Re: Need help on how to get rid of a brotherinlaw
[Re: Wildcat]
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ferg
Spider
16 Point
Registered: 07/29/04
Posts: 13807
Loc: At the TNDeer shirt factory %^...
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Find him a girl friend - he'll move out -
ferg....
_________________________
NOTICE: Due to Operation Prism I have given all of my internet passwords to a number of different folks, I no longer accept full posting responsibility for any of my internet accounts.
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#3064487 - 12/05/12 10:11 AM
Re: Need help on how to get rid of a brotherinlaw
[Re: J.C.W.]
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yamaha200
4 Point
Registered: 01/31/12
Posts: 419
Loc: seymour
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That's lives with u because he doesn't have the nads to make it on his own...
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#3065161 - 12/05/12 06:08 PM
Re: Need help on how to get rid of a brotherinlaw
[Re: yamaha200]
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bowriter
Non-Typical
Registered: 08/31/02
Posts: 40337
Loc: Lebanon,TN USA
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Like I said, just get a divorce. Solves all the problems.
_________________________
Constipation has ruined many a good day. Not as many as stupidity, though.
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#3065305 - 12/05/12 07:46 PM
Re: Need help on how to get rid of a brotherinlaw
[Re: timberjack86]
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darn2ten
4 Point
Registered: 12/08/11
Posts: 210
Loc: lincoln co. tn.
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The key here is the 3 kids! I mean come on, think about it. Ya'll got 3 kids together, both of ya'll have a big responsibility to them. She ain't going no where for the same reason your not. Go to her first for a serious sit down talk, and then together you need to have a serious sit down with him. If you get serious about this I'm guessing there will be some changes.
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