#2428489 - 06/27/11 09:03 AM
I'm so irritated I can't stand it!!!
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Baxter83
Good ol' Boys
12 Point
Registered: 09/03/08
Posts: 7243
Loc: Winchester, TN
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I usually don't go ranting about my personnal life, but I need to vent!
I'll start by saying that I love my wife to death and want her to be happy, happy with her job, our marriage, and our family.
Now on to the reason for me to post this thing....I've worked my butt off since I got out of high school. I put myself through technical school while working a full time job not only before we got married, but for a year or so after we got hitched and had bought our first house. My wife also went back to school and got her RN degree after we got married. The best route for her was to bite the bullet and go back full time which meant she would have to quite work to focus on school. I had no problem with that since "she would be making pretty good money when she got out". I had bought a nice truck when I got my new job after I graduated, but didn't want to make the payments after she quit work while in school so I sacrificed and got rid of it. Anyway, I scrapped and saved and somehow we got her through school with no debt on just my income. It was tough, but I saw the light as I knew when she got out we'd be "sitting pretty". Well, she graduated in May 09' with her Associate Degree in Nursing, got her RN license, and then we had our first child that fall  . I knew that I'd have to sacrifice even more of my "wants" for my family now and gladly done so. It sucked, but I even sold my boat and 4-wheeler to get rid of some car debt since she would be out of work for another extended period of time. Now my little boy is in day-care full time, my wife still only works part time, he!! sometimes only 10 hrs or so a week, and I'm still working my tail off and am unable to enjoy/spend a dime of what I make on anything I "want" because I'm still basically the only income in our household. We are making it alright, but at this point we're only "making it" and nothing more. I'm alright with livin on love, but I didn't sacrifice several years of school for myself and even more for my wife to go back and get a degree for us to just "make it". I guess I'm ready to start seeing our educations pay off rather than just getting by and it's kinda getting to me lately......Sorry to depress anyone who may read this 
Before anyone tells me to "put my foot down" save your breathe. I've already been down that road with many "heated" discussions, and it ain't workin.
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#2428491 - 06/27/11 09:07 AM
Re: I'm so irritated I can't stand it!!!
[Re: Baxter83]
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Stovepipe
18 Point
Registered: 09/21/07
Posts: 21673
Loc: N1549518,E738760
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I didn't know you could get your RN with only an Associate's.
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Westside Dream Team
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#2428492 - 06/27/11 09:10 AM
Re: I'm so irritated I can't stand it!!!
[Re: Baxter83]
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Hangnail
12 Point
Registered: 11/30/00
Posts: 6148
Loc: Murfreesboro, TN
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I certainly don't have the answer as I had similar issues in my marriage. She wanted to do everything she thought everyone else was doing but didn't want to do this or that for a paycheck. After losing out on the $350k to $450k she would have made if working during the time period she didn't work, we split. She's someone else's problem now and I couldn't be happier. You two are going to have to work it out as it fits your relationship. Good luck.
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#2428496 - 06/27/11 09:14 AM
Re: I'm so irritated I can't stand it!!!
[Re: Stovepipe]
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Baxter83
Good ol' Boys
12 Point
Registered: 09/03/08
Posts: 7243
Loc: Winchester, TN
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I didn't know you could get your RN with only an Associate's.
Sure can. A lot of the RN's around here only have an Associates. Funny thing is that a RN with an Associates degree makes the same money as one with a BS in most, if not all cases. The BS is basically paving the way to something bigger like a nurse anesthetist, or practitioner. To go 4 years only to become an RN from a salary standpoint is useless. The material covered is essentially the same just with more emphasis and more time to learn it from what I understand. I could be wrong.
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#2428499 - 06/27/11 09:16 AM
Re: I'm so irritated I can't stand it!!!
[Re: Stovepipe]
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pastorbmp
10 Point
Registered: 01/16/06
Posts: 4259
Loc: Wartburg,TN
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My wife hasn't worked a public job in many, many years. We chose do have it that way. I wanted my child to be raised by her mother and I. Our daughter hasn't spent one minute in daycare. I also didn't want my wife to have to deal with all the pressure of the work place. It has been tough financially through the years, but we have made it with God's help. I wouldn't trade it for any other lifestyle. I'm just saying, there could be a lot of good come out of her not working on the job so much at this point in your life. Life is not all about money and toys. I hope you two can work it out. Please take this in the spirit it is intended. I am not being judgemental nor a smart alec. I just hope you can make the most important things, the most important things.
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#2428501 - 06/27/11 09:17 AM
Re: I'm so irritated I can't stand it!!!
[Re: Hangnail]
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jos3ywales
12 Point
Registered: 10/02/09
Posts: 6025
Loc: Norris Dam
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Been there that's one reason I am single now
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Are you gonna pull those pistols or whistle Dixie?
"Let God in he will save you all you have to do is ask"
"I'm a legend in my own mind"
Jos3ywales
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#2428503 - 06/27/11 09:20 AM
Re: I'm so irritated I can't stand it!!!
[Re: Baxter83]
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Stovepipe
18 Point
Registered: 09/21/07
Posts: 21673
Loc: N1549518,E738760
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I didn't know you could get your RN with only an Associate's.
Sure can. A lot of the RN's around here only have an Associates. Funny thing is that a RN with an Associates degree makes the same money as one with a BS in most, if not all cases. The BS is basically paving the way to something bigger like a nurse anesthetist, or practitioner. To go 4 years only to become an RN from a salary standpoint is useless. The material covered is essentially the same just with more emphasis and more time to learn it from what I understand. I could be wrong.
I wonder if my little sis completely understood this. She bowed out halfway through her pursuit and switched majors altogether.She was on the BS-N path to RN.
_________________________
Westside Dream Team
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#2428504 - 06/27/11 09:21 AM
Re: I'm so irritated I can't stand it!!!
[Re: Baxter83]
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Crow Terminator
TnDeer Old Timer
14 Point
Registered: 10/23/99
Posts: 7968
Loc: McMinn County
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I hear ya brother! I hear ya!
Mine got her BS in Animal Science after following the advice of her teachers/advisors of all the job opportunities in that particular field. That is the whole reason she went down that road! I just have a HS education but have a pretty good job considering that. Even still, this will be the first year I clear $40k a year on my own...which ain't a whole heck of a lot. My wife on the other hand, after she graduated...guess what! All those jobs her degree was suppose to open the door to, suddenly disappeared. She now works at a local feed store barely making min wage. And I will tell you this: I paid for our house cash, and we've never had a house payment. I bought a used truck and we paid it off quick. And if it had just been me working on my own, we would have NEVER made it. We would be so far in the hole we would never get out. And that's just from the things that have came up over the yrs!
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#2428505 - 06/27/11 09:23 AM
Re: I'm so irritated I can't stand it!!!
[Re: pastorbmp]
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Baxter83
Good ol' Boys
12 Point
Registered: 09/03/08
Posts: 7243
Loc: Winchester, TN
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pastorbmp, I appreciate and agree with your response. I'm a Christian man and believe me I've prayed and prayed and will continue doing so. I just haven't really talked to anyone about it. I've actually told my wife that if she's only going to work part time we should just take our little boy out of daycare and she can be a stay-at-home mom. I think she wants to work she's just being sooooo picky about what she wants to do that I'm afraid she's not going to find a job to suit her in the near future.
We know that her working night shifts don't work with her OR me FOR SURE!
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#2428509 - 06/27/11 09:30 AM
Re: I'm so irritated I can't stand it!!!
[Re: Crow Terminator]
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Stovepipe
18 Point
Registered: 09/21/07
Posts: 21673
Loc: N1549518,E738760
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it's tough, unless one spouse is making $35K or more, I don't see how you can do it. And then, that's the bare minimum. Both have to work, to stay ahead. Unless you take a vow of poverty.
This ain't Leave it Beaver days anymore. Daycare is a trap too. I know of a co-worker, spends almost $1000 bucks a month for two kids. Almost ain't worth it.
Short of loving,generous grandparents-I don't know how others cope.
we didn't do the daycare thing until the kids were in the 3-7 years time frame and then, they were kept by trusted small in-home daycare run by folks we know from church. My mother-in-law kept ours while they were in diapers.
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