#2421092 - 06/19/11 12:11 AM
A lactating Nubian goat and some pig sex
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Crappie Luck
Non-Typical
Registered: 01/29/03
Posts: 56248
Loc: Smith Co.
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I saw some neighbors moving some furniture in trucks last week. I haven't had the pleasure of meeting them yet and not sure where they have moved into. Just know it's up the road somewhere.
That's really not important, but we'll talk about them again later.
The real meat of this story involves this nubian goat I bought yesterday. She's in milk having weened two kids just a few days ago. I got a great deal for her and was so exited to be bringing her home that I hadn't completely thought out the process of introducing a new species to my tranquil farm. But, hey. It's a goat. How bad can it get?.........
Well, when I was backing up the truck with my "Girl" the dogs were going nuts. "BARK BARK BARK". This was not a very nice way to start out. The goat was nervous form the ride anyway and with the three barking dogs she was a bit "Hesitant" about coming out the back of the truck. I got the dogs shood off with some 'Ge-on ouwwa-heers". That allowed me just enough time to secure my lactating investemnt in dairy between the two gates that keep the Hogs from the dogs and visa-versa. That was some good, tall uncut grass for her to munch on until I had an opportunity to secure some fence on out past the barn.
I got inside and let everyone calm down for a while. Then boredom, concern that the goat had no shade and a "New toy" excitement got me thinking.......This is when things got a little more dicy.
I couldn't see any good reason that two hogs (Sarah Lee and JImmy Dean) and a goat could not share the shade and browse that was readily available on the other side of that second gate. My hogs aren't vicious and the goat is very gentle. What could go wrong with that? I know, right? zall good. We're friends here, yea?
I open the second gate and the hogs rush past me to get to the nice, green grass. But the sow notices the goat and goes to introduce herself. But Sarah Lee, the sow, is not so schooled in manners. She's a tad forward with our new guest. Instead of pleasantries the sow corners the goat against the gate and starts sniffing, rooting and trying to lift the lactating dairy goat onto her head or something. The goat rejects this notion and begins to Bawl kind of loudly and with some conviction. All this bawling, Baaaaaaaing, snorting and me saying "Stop it!!". the dogs start to bark. This makes the goat even MORE agitated and she's now kicking and baaaing while the sow appears to be trying to sample the goat milk straight out the tap by brute force.
The boar is so worked up over this scene he decides it would be a GREAT time to mount the sow. OH THIS GREAT!! I can't get to the sow to pull her off the screaming dairy goat because this boar is screwing the heck of of the sow and my dogs are cheering them on LOUDLY!!!.
I grab the only thing I can reach while being penned agains the gate my 200 lbs of humping pig, and that's a tomato stake. I start beating the boar on the rump to try and back him up enough so I can get out, get my goat and get the HeII out of here.
That's when these new neighbors came driving by. Of course I don't want to leave a first impression that I can't control my stock so I stop spanking the boar on the arse that is humping the sow that is trying to milk my goat while the dogs bark...and smile and wave.
They didn't wave back. They had no expression on their faces at all and their hands were busy slowly covering their open mouths.
Finally, I got the pigs out of the way and opened the gate enough to pull the traumatized Nubian goat into the barn and safely locked in a stall.
As I was setting up her feed and water I noticed she just stood there, stared at me without blinking and breathed heavily.
I'm not sure but I'm pretty sure she was thinking.
YOU SOB.........
What the heII kind of farm is this? I've been here 10 minutes and you've got barking dogs and live pig sex shows going on. Not only do I NOT want ANYTHING to do with you and this freak show, but I suggest you pray on this, farmer....A LOT"
P.S. my milk has curdled.
_________________________
Compromise is surrender on an installment plan
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#2421136 - 06/19/11 06:27 AM
Re: A lactating Nubian goat and some pig sex
[Re: Crappie Luck]
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kdxdude
10 Point
Registered: 11/14/06
Posts: 3951
Loc: Cleveland, Tn.
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LOL!!! That was great!!! 
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#2421143 - 06/19/11 06:41 AM
Re: A lactating Nubian goat and some pig sex
[Re: kdxdude]
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W C
8 Point
Registered: 02/02/02
Posts: 2420
Loc: Alabama
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LMAO!! That's hilarious!
_________________________
Obama gets to have it both ways. He claims black from his father and American from his mother. Claiming to be a white Kenyan wouldn't get him very far though would it?
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#2421166 - 06/19/11 07:14 AM
Re: A lactating Nubian goat and some pig sex
[Re: Buck Nekkid]
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NBF7240
8 Point
Registered: 08/16/06
Posts: 1502
Loc: Tn
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thats funny
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"Those who hammer their guns into plows, will plow for those who do not" Thomas Jefferson
Facebook Collins Farm Beef
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#2421182 - 06/19/11 08:04 AM
Re: A lactating Nubian goat and some pig sex
[Re: NBF7240]
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Bone Collector
12 Point
Registered: 09/09/09
Posts: 6187
Loc: Murfreesboro, TN
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Don't let the screen name fool you spikes are made of bone too Semper Fidelis! The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots and tyrants. - Thomas Jefferson
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,you probaly wont have to worry about them wanting to borrow any thing 
