#2392969 - 05/14/11 07:18 PM
odd request
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Buck Nekkid
Non-Typical
Registered: 12/20/07
Posts: 42423
Loc: Jefferson County,Tn
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some of you already know,but first a little background.
my father left me when i wasent very old.his business in palm springs was more important that his son in los angeles.i always knew who he was and where he was but even growing up he never had time for me.my mom remarried when i was about 8 to a military man who would have flashbacks of war and take it out on me.he was abusive to me and i will never know if mom turned a blind eye or just didnt know.i hope its the later.as a child i blamed all this on dad leaving.i was well in my 20s when the old man wanted to try and be a father.by then it was too late.over the last 20+ years we have somewhat reconnciled but its still a strained relationship.my step mother has been the middle man for a very long time.he has never met my wife,never talked to her on the phone(mostly because his english sucks and she dosent understand him)he has never seen my kids and ive not seen him since march of 1996.only reason then was i was called to l.a. to testify in a murder case and it was an all expenses paid trip and i wanted to see my sisters.
today my step mother calls me with an odd request.me and your dad want to come to tennessee,stay with you and visit for a week or two.i told her we have a lot on our plate right now and we have lots of things going on this summer.ill get back with you if we can make it work.i love my step mother to death and it would mean a lot to her and my sisters if i would let things go but its too [censored] hard.theres a lot of water under the bridge.im trying to also think of my kids and wife.my little one is really wanting to meet his grandpa and dad is a regular topic for him.
i wish this was an easy decision.if it was just me and my feelings it would be an easy choice but there are so many other peoples lives my decision will affect either way.anyone got any home spun wisdom or some advice either way?
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TnDeer's sexiest man over 300lbs.
One half of "Man Purdy"
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#2392974 - 05/14/11 07:25 PM
Re: odd request
[Re: Buck Nekkid]
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RUGER
Arachnophobic
Non-Typical
Registered: 11/19/99
Posts: 4097469
Loc: TN
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Sounds like a tough decision for you.
Hope it all works out.
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Youth is wasted on the young.
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#2392975 - 05/14/11 07:26 PM
Re: odd request
[Re: Buck Nekkid]
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pass-thru
10 Point
Registered: 10/10/04
Posts: 3050
Loc: va beach
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Things happen in families. Sometimes we never know the full story. There may be things about your dad leaving that you don't know about that might have given a fuller explanation.
People also change for better or for worse. If your dad has wanted to make ammends, how will it harm you to forgive him?
If they're willing to make the trip, let them come. Let them stay in a hotel, but let them come. Then you won't have to worry about regretting not letting them come at some point in the future.
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#2392985 - 05/14/11 07:37 PM
Re: odd request
[Re: pass-thru]
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LA man
16 Point
Registered: 05/31/03
Posts: 18562
Loc: spencer, tn/houma, la.
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Things happen in families. Sometimes we never know the full story. There may be things about your dad leaving that you don't know about that might have given a fuller explanation.
People also change for better or for worse. If your dad has wanted to make ammends, how will it harm you to forgive him?
If they're willing to make the trip, let them come. Let them stay in a hotel, but let them come. Then you won't have to worry about regretting not letting them come at some point in the future.
i agree
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GO LSU
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#2392993 - 05/14/11 07:45 PM
Re: odd request
[Re: LA man]
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RodBone75
12 Point
Registered: 05/02/07
Posts: 6630
Loc: Maury Co.
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hope it works out for ya man.
_________________________
MidTenn Posse
You picking up what i'm putting down!
“The only thing I’m addicted to right now is winning.”
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#2392995 - 05/14/11 07:45 PM
Re: odd request
[Re: LA man]
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Diehard Hunter
12 Point
Registered: 08/01/08
Posts: 5234
Loc: East Tennessee
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Better to go ahead and try it now than to regret not having tried it later!
_________________________
One of the penalties of an ecological education is that one lives alone in a world of wounds. Aldo Leopold
Don't argue with an idiot He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.
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#2393011 - 05/14/11 08:10 PM
Re: odd request
[Re: BigSatt]
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switchbacker
8 Point
Registered: 09/26/10
Posts: 1283
Loc: knoxville
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my parents had me at 15, so my grandparents raised me so i know somewhat how your feeling. i know my mom well, though shes like a aunt to me more than anything. i met my biological dad at the court date for him to sign some paperwork and its only time ive met him faceto face, and lately hes tried as well. do what you thinks best for you. trust in God and let him handle what you think is too much my friend.
_________________________
SI VIS PACEM, PARA BELLUM
decide what to be and go be it
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#2393031 - 05/14/11 08:30 PM
Re: odd request
[Re: tndrbstr]
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SilverFox
10 Point
Registered: 10/16/10
Posts: 3556
Loc: Kodak TN
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The best I answer... pray about it. I will also be praying for you and yours.
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